My boyfriend of 6 months who I live with constantly says he wants to marry me and have my babies. Is it too soon?

Question

We get along great and I’m truly in love

quaranta · Accepted Answer

Wait to live with him for at least 2 years, then when the initial infatuation phase is over and the real relationship starts (and has to be based on something else than what it is now, can't be otherwise), you will know better what an entire future with him will be, or if you are actually compatible on the long run.
Children have no responsibility on bad decisions of their parents and they didn't ask to exist, so make sure to give the baby a stable and reliable childhood, which is not something you can grant with a partner you are infatuated of. Bad parenting is by far the number one reason people grow with personality, behavioural and psychological issues.
Don't be irresponsible just for this random idea of having a cute baby at home like a puppet, responsibility is the main big thing you need to raise a child and you have to plan the parenthood you will provide.
After a couple of years of co-living with your partner, make sure you have enough money saved and stable jobs, failsafe situations etc, as well.
Babies are completely separated than how much you love your partner, they are not an extension of your relationship or a proof of love, they are future adults and that makes them a demanding long term "project". You have to think for them, not for yourself, first.

PrettyPriya · Accepted Answer

While it is fine to talk about the future and dream about what life might be like, I think it is much too soon and too much to be constantly talking about having children. Marriage, okay maybe. Kids? You aren't even married yet. It is okay to discuss it, but it shouldn't be a constant thing like you make it out to be.

My guess is he is doing this to reaffirm to himself that you are committed to him. That is his way of knowing that you want a future with him. If you reply positively, it gives him that affirmation.

It is kind of an immature tactic to use but he is looking for reassurance in my opinion. Discussing such things provides that. The reality is different though. While it is not unheard of to discuss that a half a year into dating, all the time is a bit much.

He also doesn't seem to get the concept of what it takes to raise a child. That is a big decision. Not having children yet myself, we have been doing extensive planning and thinking about how we might go about it and when.

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

Took the words right out of my mouth. Love Bombing. Not necessarily consciously. But you cannot possibly know after 6 months. What's the rush exactly? If he's "the one" then why do you have to make any decision about that right now? If he's right for you, you're still going to be together a year or two from now... right? So, there's really no downside whatsoever to wait. So what's the rush?

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

If you’re not ready yet. Then you’re not ready. If you feel ready then accept his proposal and if you’re not just tell him you’re not ready.

If you have a bad feeling. Give it some time. If you really want to marry him then I guess do it and have babies

BlueScorpio · Answer

Well 6 months is pretty fast but at least you know where his heart is. I think he's just being vocal about it but that doesn't mean he wants to do those things immediately but in the future he does.

Guy13 · Answer

I am sure it is well intended but child making and rearing require planning, means, and patience. Move cautiously ‼️

Avicenna · Answer

That’s fine, as long as the timetable isn’t next week.

Apple1996 · Answer

It's fine if you are ready for it

SwellStroke · Answer

There is two sides to choice. some will say its too quick, others say you only live once.

Personally. I did the less than a year thing into marriage. It was not what was right for myself or her, however we were both able to grow and move on after.

Now with me saying that keep in mind, that was my experience and will not refelct how it could/would be for you guys.

Communication will be nothing but a great tool in navigating the seas ahead of you both. Take some time and sit down and be honest with one another in regards to the matter. Find common ground and either you will be building the foundation for the future. Though, there is the chance that you both be able to figure out that it isn't a good idea either for you two, or at this time.

I hope you are able to figure things out, and just remember Don't Panic, and always know where you towel is!!!

StonerChick427 · Answer

Not really, If both of you are happy and have the same goals and interests as each other, then no it’s not to soon, there’s a lot of people I know that have been married for years and only been together a month or two and got married. :) if you get all excited when he mentions it or don’t have that nervous or scared feeling when you guys talk about it, Then no it’s not to soon…. Only because that says right there that you haven’t had any thought about not being with him, also that confirms he’s ready to settle and keep building your guy’s life together. :)

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

It is up to you and how you feel. I've known people who have dated for two years, engaged for two years and still got divorced... on the other side, I've known people who dated for 3 months, engaged for 3 months, and been married for 25 years, so far.

Amount of time seems to have little to do with it.

DermalPunch · Answer

No it isn't. Do you want to get married and have a resonates tonwork for the rough patches or live in limbo for 5 years saying you aren't ready wasting all your good eggs. Don't listen to this Western "civilisation" tripe. Look around you. Are people really doing well in these amorphous LTRs?

KennethNoisewater · Answer

Honeymoon phase will die eventually. I don't doubt you guys get along. I bet you do. But wait until you guys are fully comfortable. Wait until the big disagreements that neither of you will budge on.
I'm not saying your relationship will fail but you definitely want to find these things out before you start having kids. Sometimes those things do divide relationships and it only gets messy when kids are involved

DrBanana · Answer

Personally I’d say it’s way too early.
From 6 months to around a year you are still probably in the lovey dovey phase.

I would suggest more time, you know how to se each other for faults and all the maybe decide.

But either way I hope what ever happens works out for the best.

TopTier · Answer

If you sit around waiting to "know" who to marry, you'll be one of those 35-40 year old single moms. Who had kids because you were getting old and "no men were out there." Stop pretending you will ever "know". 6 months is long enough. Your great grandma might have only taken two months.

DCowboy4747 · Answer

It all falls to the people involved. I know a couple who have been marred for over 25 years and they only dated for a few months, then I know people who had dated for years then got married and were divorced or separated in less that 6 months. You don't have to be married to be happy, besides most states now have a common law situation active.

Desynx · Answer

I think as long at it is well intentioned and he is not being pushy, I wouldn't think much of it. I do think it is a little early to be asking for this but I think it's a good thing to discuss and be on the same page about in the prospective future.

CoolCatMar1 · Answer

I think if you truly love someone the time you spent with them doesn't matter that much. I would marry my boyfriend now if i could but i am way too young and don't have my own job yet. When i have my own money (soon enough) maybe

mstbooblover · Answer

Difficult to tell without knowing you for real, but what is certain is that the guy wants to start a family with you. Completely normal as far as I know.

Fireguy17 · Answer

I think it is a bit too soon. It can work that fast, but you might want to be together at least a year or so, that way the real person comes out, not just their representative.

TrueConfection · Answer

My husband and I dated for less than that, without living together. We've been married for 21 years.

suzzieQ · Answer

Tell him to put his money where his mouth is. If he wants a family and children than he needs to be in a position to support and provide for one.

NotTacocaT6969 · Answer

Never listen to that load of crap unless it’s coming from someone who has lived under the same roof as you for at least 2 years.

YourFavoriteFriend · Answer

A lot of people would marry after 6 months or 1-2 years. And then you see that half of them divorce. Hope this answers your question!

Moose304 · Answer

I sure hope the title was a mistake in grammar. Regardless 6 months is not near enough time to know someone.

Sanamina · Answer

Maybe he just alwayys wanted a family and he thinks he found the right person to start it with.

Nikki1989 · Answer

It seems like it is too soon. You better think carefully about this.

jshm2 · Answer

Sure. He's happy with the six months trial.

Smoothing · Answer

Is he the one going to have your babies, or are you the one going to have his babies?

Tina19 · Answer

Why is he rushing into marriage find out the reason

Anonymous · Answer

Way too soon but nice to know. If he still feels the same way in a couple of years then you can consider it some more.

Songomatic · Answer

Run or you will be washing your and his underwear with an ACTUAL traditional wash board, a Relic-Hands-Me down from great great great Granny.

Twalli · Answer

Wait at least 18 months before accepting a proposal

Paul09 · Answer

So awkward to even think of kids at that age, especially for a man.

Anonymous · Answer

So what's the problem? Do you not want to have kids? Do you not want to stay with this dude?

victoriaxoxo · Answer

Just wait, what's the rush?

melanieeeB · Answer

I always say, don't rush marriage.

Vikkrram · Answer

If he would marry you then go ahead

Dargil · Answer

No, it is not too soon. I voted B.

fonduegirl · Answer

Calm your jets

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

Yeah, it's probably too soon..

Anonymous · Answer

Be careful listening to people on here...

Raaj4you · Answer

If he is a good guy go for it.

OddBeMe · Answer

He wants to carry your babies in his stomach?

Wise4myage · Answer

Red flag alert.

Nahid1707 · Answer

What do you think?

Gabriel-Chicanito · Answer

W' do u think?

My boyfriend of 6 months who I live with constantly says he wants to marry me and have my babies. Is it too soon?

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