What do you do when you're fed up with your wife?

[str8up]

my wife and I have been married for some years. we have a few kids and a home. Lately everything she does just pisses me off. I don't trust her at ALL. she's up to something, I can feel it, but I'm not the type to make accusations. what should I do, she never gives a str8 answer about anything.

I'm not the type of guy that hits women, but lately I can see why, and how some men end up doing it. What should I do?

[ApatheticApology]

Hold up. Ypu want to hit your wife? That right there proves you need a divorce. You should NEVER want to hurt someone you love. When me and my boyfriend had it rocky, I used to hit him because he'd call me out of my name, but we both stopped because we calmly talked it over like adults. He just turned eighteen and I just turned nineteen. If we can do it, so can you,

If neither of you can come to a calm solution...kids or not. GET A DIVORCE! My parents divorced when I was young, but I do not hate either one for the decision. Itwas hard to accept at first, but I understand why it happened.

It is not O.K. To hit your wife...unless she comes at you with a knife with an intent to kill or she is severely injuring you. If she is hitting you with her fists, make a point to tell her it's NOT okay for EITHER gender to lay hands on the other. It is morally wrong for a man to hit a woman, even if she's hitting him, but it just as legally wrong for her to abuse you. Now if she DOESN'T lay hands on you...then you should definitely get a divorce because you are NOT in love with this woman, you could actually hit her, and then you'd be a lot less than a "Man" if you hit a woman who isn't hurting you... And it will only mentally abuse your kids to watch you guys fight. Kids shouldn't be raised in a home where the father or mother want to harm each other...

Trust me...I am seeing a psychologist because of my father and stepfather, I understand it goes both ways however and that WE READERS ARE ONLY SEEING ONE SIDE OF THE STORY...therefore we cannot be completely aware...but my best advice is...think of your children. They are better off with separated parents than hostile ones. Just think of them, would you really want them to grow up...thinking it's okay to hit women because you accidentally lost your temper with one you're no longer compatible with? Divorce is sad, but domestic abuse is worse. If there is any going on in the home from you or her...just end it if not for you, then your kids.

[str8up]

im sure I will never hit her, even though she has hit me. but the whole situation is just crazy. why do people go out and do " DIRT", instead of just leaving. Id rather her just leave than me wondering and getting pissed and holding it in, about not knowing what she's doing. Something up I can feel it.There's a lot more to my story too. trust me!

[ApatheticApology]

I have never cheated. I have never thought about cheating...and I would probably py someone to kick my ass if I did cheat.. Seriously.. If you can't trust your wife...why areyou still with her? I never thought I'd hit my boyfriend...then I found out he was keeping secrets, important secrets from me. I got angry and paranoid he was hiding other things... Like cheating. The anget got overwhelming and I slapped him across the face. I've drawn blood with just my nails. I STILL feel terrible,

[ApatheticApology]

I will never forgive myself. But I promised him I'd never do it again if he promised to never drink anymore...and so far we're doing great. I wanted to make it work.. And I wanted to make it up to him. No one deserves to be hurt. Emotionally, physically, or sexually. She needs to know that she cannot hurt you, that you won't stay with her if she doesn't change. That's what woke me up to reality. My boyfriend was more important than my anger, and it's hard.. You have to be VERY determined

[str8up]

i wanted to leave but she wouldn't let me! I feel like an hostage

[ApatheticApology]

And so does she. If the urge to hit her doesn't go away. I seriously advise leaving her. Because she will never forgive you if you hit her on accident, you will never forgive yourself and it could hurt your kids mentally if they ever found out. My problems with anger resulted from the exact kind of relationship.. My sister's father hit my mom. For a long time I thought it was normal to hit my boyfriends. I thought they deserved it. Now I realize making the same mistakes I saw as a kid was dumb

[ApatheticApology]

You're a healthy man right? You don't abuse alcohol, or drugs right? Well then you can leave any time you want. Threats with your children? If you're clean...that's irrelevent. You'll have rights to see them. You'd even get over night stays...without their mother. Don't let anyone back you in a corner :)

[str8up]

the hitting I'm not worried about, I put stop to that then. but I don't like feeling like I'm being played by her. I'm very proud, and the fact I'm talking about this pisses me off!

[str8up]

IM NOT TRYING TO LEAVE MY KIDS! that's out of the question. I shouldn't have to miss out on them cause she F'N up. that's not right

[ApatheticApology]

Well, unless you can record her being abusive to you, or can somehow prove she's unfit...children typically go to the mother. Though if you stay with her, you're both ruining your kids anyhow together. No one should be raised in a house of contant disagreement, lack of trust, and violence. It has a huge impact, I've been there. Trust me. Your kids might never trust any partner they have if this continues. They could grow up believing her hitting you is normal...and date an abuser or be one.

[ApatheticApology]

I still have to remind myself to trust my boyfriend because of my stepfather. If you want your kids in YOUR custody..talk to a lawyer when you have some free time. Thy'll tell you what evidence can be used in court to prove her unfit.

[str8up]

the kids don't see anything, other than occassional normal argument. but this is a situation I's almost be willing to sell my soul to never have been in.

[ApatheticApology]

They don't see it -yet- key word. As much as you say they haven't. Doesn't mean that they won't. I knew from age nine that my mo. Was getti g abused. I never saw it..but she changed and I just accide tally heard certain things. She tried to hide it, she did... But kids are a lot smarter than adults give them credit for. If they haven't seen anything...eventuwlly it will happen if you don't find a fix. I've seen it a thousand times. Experienced it from the kids point of view it's bad for everyon

[anythingsgood]

if it doesn't seem like she or her attitude is going to change and if it's becoming unbearable regardless of what you do, then you could confront her on the prospect of separating for a while to see what happens. you could still just try to sit down and talk to her when she is more aproachable without any accusations, and see what's going on with her. maybe there are some problems she's having personaly and is moody as a result.

[Anonymous]

Talk to her about it , But you should never hit a woman . Nowadays many woman fight back and not with their hands , You got to be careful with that .

[str8up]

She just lie, and if she told the truth, honestly, I'd think she was lying! Everything she s ever accused me of, it turned out she was doing!

[KingsOfleon88]

Dude there is never any justification for putting your hands on a woman like that. You can either do couples therapy as suggested above or leave.

[Anonymous]

She probably feels the same way...yaull should get a divorce.

[str8up]

Maybe she does, maybe SHE should of been WOMEN to say it a long time ago. Maybe SHE should of never stole a man's dream of a family from him. Maybe SHE should of never took him for granted . Maybe SHE should of thought of someone else's views other than her own as always being right. .maybe she should of been the women she said she was instead hiding her true identity

[Prettygurl12]

Couples counseling