Why do people respond "it's not your fault" when I say I'm sorry?

[sage-of-caring]

A friend told me she wasn't feeling well and I responded with "I'm sorry" to which she said it wasn't my fault. This is not the first time it happened to me. I find that response confusing. Am I not allowed to express my feeling bad another person feels bad without being responsible? or is it more of them saying my sentiment is lost on them?

I know I am probably over thinking it but that response does bug me, maybe its one of those things that bugs me.

[FrozenFire782]

Some people just don't know how to respond. Finding a response that isn't depressing, lets the other person know that you've felt their feelings AND making it logical is kinda hard. Also, they may just be telling you indirectly that they understand you're hurting for them and they don't want you to hurt because it doesn't effect them too badly. I agree, there are better responses, such as "thank you, it doesn't bother me anymore" or something like that but if you think about it, "I'm sorry" really has no good response to follow it.

[BERRYawesome]

When you break someone's leg that is when you say I'm sorry. Why? because YOU did it so it's your fault. Now if YOU were the one who caused your friend to feel unwell then I'm sorry would've worked but since you didn't she said it's not your fault. It's not wrong to say it during either situation but if it makes you feel as if it's being unappreciated that people tell you it's not your fault and you want to show sentiment just rephrase it by saying " Well I hope you feel better".

[Primrose]

when you say you're sorry, that means you are apologizing for something that you did. I think what's a better phrase is 'that sucks" its less apologetic and straight to the point.

[sage-of-caring]

Less apologetic... hadn't thought about that. *facepalm*

[Primrose]

lol yeah, I got annoyed because people would be just flinging 'i'm sorry' in my face for things they didn't even do. like, it should be a sacred phrase! don't be sorry unless you truly did something you should be apologizing for! like throwing around 'i love you'. hahaha

[TheUglyOne]

Well an apology should be given if you wronged someone. But we say sorry when someone gets bad news, and it does sound a little like you're taking responsibility for what happened. I do it too, both.

[moaterboat]

just handle it like this

link

[Anonymous]

So to answer your question about this persons response, I would say that the reason for making this statement is because the friend doesn't want to make you feel bad. It might be your pet peeve.

[sage-of-caring]

YES! pet peeve. I knew there was a phrase for it!

[WavyCherry]

I do it too.

It's like a reflex I guess to say it. I'll say I'm sorry to sympathize with someone on something even if it's not my fault to show that I care.

It's like saying have a nice day and the other person responds back "you too".

[PoeticNinja]

You didn't cause her to be sick...

So, why would you be sorry.

It's a bummer when people get sick. Oh well. No need to say "I'm sorry."

[jpinka]

over thinking. just one of those most of us do. I cnt really explain it. its like saying your welcome lol

[Anonymous]

You can express sympathy without having to apologize for their misfortune.

[Anonymous]

they don't want you to feel guilty.