He intimidates me, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I have a great time with my boyfriend of 2 months. We are still getting to know each other and his past intimidates me.

He's been with a lot of women (mostly one night stands). He hasn't had a girlfriend in a few years because he didn't connect with anyone or want one. He's done drugs. He says doing drugs (weed) for fun to relax infrequently is OK, but he hasn't done it in a few years. In high school he did acid, cocaine, and some other stuff. He says he likes the psychedelics but they are too expensive and hard to get.

I am a goody 2 shoes. I've been drunk twice (once with him this last weekend at a Halloween party) and I've never done drugs. I've never had a one night stand and I'm not as sexually experienced as him either.

My question is why is he interested in me, we seem like completely different people? Is he just using me as this naive inexperienced woman?

[Milica]

I think he's interested in you because he wants to settle down. He has been through a lot and if he made the right conclusions (i.e. he decided to stop doing drugs and to stop having one night stands) that means he is mature and that his decision to be with you is rock solid.

You should be happy that he has been through all of that, it's better to go through that at an early age and then settle down knowing exactly why you're not into that anymore, than to start living a wild life once you get older. You shouldn't be intimidated by his past, his past is the reason he will cherish more than anything, because he knows what else is out there.

[TimTomTank]

Maybe he's growing up and looking for something different for once. One night stands are only fun for so long, everyone wants to settle down at one point and start a life.

Whatever you do, don't start drinking too much or doing any drugs! If you see he is pulling you down, that's when you should leave. But for now, see what he's about..People's true colors always come out. You shouldn't judge someone from their past, because this is what makes them who they are now. If they haven't changed nor learned from those experiences, then this is a diff story.

Good luck <3

[cavmanier]

It sounds like you're jealous of his past and think of those things as accomplishments. Is it intimidating because you think that stuff is cool? I would personally rather have a girl that has lived straight edged.

[Asker]

It's intimidating because I feel inexperienced and that he's comparing me to his partying friends and easy women. Thank you for your response.

[cavmanier]

You could compare him to other guys as well right

[Asker]

I've only slept with 3 other guys and never had kinky sex. Like I said I'm a goody 2 shoes. I don't drink or do drugs. I'm just wondering why he's interested? If I'd known these things about him I would never had gone on a first date. Now I like him and am getting insecure. I know I'm a total girl and should just take as face value.

[cavmanier]

I think your idolizing someone that imo is acting out. It is seen as cool by many in society though. He's probably exaggerating on the kinky sex thing. I wouldn't bring up my previous sex life with a girlfriend. I bet he's trying to impress you. Sex is sex to me though. Whips and swings don't turn me on. Whatever did it for you though

[blackeagle007]

My question is... Why are you interested in him? In terms of using you, what do you mean?

[Asker]

Before I knew these things (and even now) I have a great time with him. We have great conversations about common interests. We enjoy volunteering at animal shelters, art galleries, same political and religious beliefs, he's a great cook and I find his 'book smart' sexy.

But the more I learn the more insecure I get. There's no way this experienced guy would really like a 'living under a rock' woman who hasn't gotten out much.

I've met men that like naive women because they like 'breaking the

[Asker]

'breaking them in'