Is he scared and trying to keep me at arms length, or really dislikes me?

[Anonymous]

My work partner and I both have extreme trust issues for different reasons. With everything he has been through, I don't know how he's functioning at all honestly. We're on good terms, and I think we mutually enjoy working together. We're always laughing and joking. He doesn't make really and effort to hang out outside of work, but we've been becoming increasingly closer. We've done it before and he's invited me, but in groups. We understand each other a LOT, as in I've never quite connected with someone that well. When we first got partnered together though, when I was talking, he'd give me his 100% attention. Eye contact, all of it. Now we have deep conversations still, full of all the eye contact, but only when he's the one talking. Am I just not important to him? Is he just that arrogant? Or is it just that he's still trying to keep me at arms length? Every time we have a moment, it's like he catches himself and puts a stop to it.

[PastorJohn69]

Really hard to guess what would be the best advise to give with not knowing him.
Maybe he is realizing there is a connection but he has other plans... perhaps he is very aware and he tells himself that it's in his head and you'd never see him like that so he's trying to stop himself from making a move on you because he feels he is beneath you.. you are out of his league. This is most likely senerio.
Option C, when he is looking away, perhaps he feel comfortable enough that he feels it's OK to look at something else, as you are above taking it personally

[spartan55]

You already posted this before. He's not scared, he just isn't into you like you are towards him.

[Asker]

No I haven't. I'm actually new to the site. If another gal is going through this though I'd love to see what people told her. Link?

[Asker]

Oh I think I found it. Those are eerily similar but not me

[SeekingVirginWife]

What's your goal? we are not mind readers.

[Asker]

I definitely have feelings and would like to see where that could go. People who know both of us think we're perfect together. But we're 3.5 months into our partnership and have only recently made it to here. We only have a couple months until we're being split up with several less hours though, so I don't even know if it's realistic.

[SeekingVirginWife]

Are you looking for a husband?

[Asker]

Eventually.

[SeekingVirginWife]

Don't wait until you are 30, or your kids will be born with Low IQ like Millennials and Generation Z.

Go ask him for marriage.

[Asker]

We would have a couple things to work through before I'd consider marrying him though

[Asker]

I can't have biological kids anyway because of medical issues. And honestly, because of some things we've both been through, neither of us are super interested in kids. At least for awhile.

And asking him for marriage... do you really think we're on that path? Because I can't figure out how he feels about me. If the reason for the lack of eye contact when I speak has to do with a lack of interest or respect, I don't want to marry someone who doesn't love me.

[SeekingVirginWife]

Love is built not found, if you look for love you will never find it.