Girls, what is your ideal fantasy scenario of meeting a new guy?

[makesumwake]

confess, I know you have thought about it... a lot

what locations? through friends? randomly? bar? club? school?

what does he say, what do you say, what happens?

any good movie examples?

anything the rest of the guys here can learn from?

thanks

Updates

+1 y

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from the answers, most girls like it to happen randomly/spontaneous/not planned.


i think its because girls have less to worry about when it comes to the guy's motives. since girls seem to be very concerned that they are only being played/used. if they meet a guy randomly by "bumping into him", then it is assumed there is no ulterior motive.


meeting at bars seems to be universally disliked by girls, as they assume only guys wanting to get laid go there.

[kholland65]

I find these stories interesting and as well as how they differ from how guys think and how things normally play out.

I think our fantasies about how we meet our mates, are one of the biggest things that cause a rift and drama between the sexes, simply because both genders have such a different approach.

Women are usually all about the spontaneous meeting with a stranger. Something like you'd see in a chick flick or romance novel. The old, running into a guy at a club, or on the train, or after you have fallen and his helps you get up. Those moments in the movies were the two people just lock eyes and its love at first sight.

Men on the other hand are sort of the opposite. Just like how guys form friendships with other men, we take it slow. Guys take longer to build trust and a connection with a person. Guys tend to not fall in love at first sign, at least not beyond sexual lust. It can take weeks, months, or even sometimes ears before a guy really forms that bond with a girl.

One way this idea is illustrated is like I mention before, through our friendships. Notice how often girls will meet another girl and within weeks they're already calling each other best friends.They're like two peas in a pod who act like they've known each other for years. Guys on the other hand are much slower to get really close with a guy. for example, I just moved to a new state and met some new friends. The girls are all act like they've known each other for years. Me and my best guys friend of the bunch are close, we don't go acting like were going to get old together, like the girls do. We understand that while we enjoy handing out with each other, we just met each other.

Some of this I think is biologically. Women are predisposed to make quick social and relationship connections because women find strength in numbers since they lack the physical strength of a man. It's a survival trait. Men on the other hand see other people and men as a threat to their survival either by stealing their mate, their food, or their status among the tribe. So guys are usually a bit more cautious of people.

As far as dating goes, I also think there is a bit of influence by media. I know some psychologists have already noted this as a problem in women. That they are being given unrealistic expectations about their partners and relationships because of romance novels and movies.

The point I'm getting at is that dating becomes a real game because of this. The girls want something to happen fast, but the guys are wired to move slower. By the time a guy realizes he likes a girl, she's already emotionally moved on. A guy almost has to just go after a girl he has nothing more than physical attraction to, and then just hope the emotional connection forms later on. I know that almost all relationships I've been in, that's sort of how it played out, otherwise it just never happened. I had to date a girl who I was still on the fence about and lucky they turned out OK beyond looks.

[leluxe]

When I was a little girl I had a lot of variations on how to meet a guy. But one that remained through my adulthood is meeting someone at a coffee shop. I imagined I was a waitress and I served this Tall-skinny-light skin-dark hair-light eyes-wears reading glasses-sweet smile (has baby teeth)-man ..with his sleeves rolled up, showing his arm veins. He's sitting there listening to music and on his laptop (reading etc)

Day 1.

I would be serving him his croissant and latte but I accidently spill it on him O_O I try to wipe it off and he smirks and responds "oh your fine, its really okay.." I'll give him 2 lattes on the house for the trouble.

(he's a regular visitor)

Day 3 I'm at a art gallery alone and he is also alone at the same gallery. We lock eyes...and smile awkwardly. "oh aren't you the girl that works at ____" and it goes from there. I'll probably end it with "it was nice bumping into you, I'll catch you later"

Day 5 I'm eating at a local breakfast spot ALone and he is as well haha. We end up just eating breakfast together in silence. and just sit there and enjoy the company of one another.

Day 10 He smiles at me..and I most likely would be choked up and just be stupid haha. Smile back. He'll keep trying to find opportunties to have a light conversation. Cracking jokes here and there. Something about a shy yet aggressive person intrigues me. Before he leaves, he writes his number , name, and "there is a showing at ____ on _____. I would love for you to accompany me it starts____. Hope to bump into you there! ;-)"

I'll bump into him :-) lol and we'll watch the film. Walk around the park and get yogurt ..while discussing our ideas on the film. Branching out to other topics. A lot of laughing is a must. The night ends, and I would say "thanks for such a great time" he'll say "same here, will you be working tomorrow? If so, I'll see you then :-)"

Regardless, how elaborate and fantasical it seems. The underlying ideas for guys to learn is

1. Confidence, know what you want and how to get it. - A lot of guys these days coward behind the fear of rejection, they want a guarantee that there will be 0 chance of rejection. It takes time to capture anyone..its not a instant thing. Both parties have to prove themselves to each other that they are a worthy mate. The sooner a guy realizes it can develop the better off he is going into it.

2. Establish genuine common ground.

3. Relate to a girls mind by sharing values, ideas, stories, etc. Also being okay with tension: disagreeing at times. Who wants a doormat.

Hope what I said made sense, I have a hard time communicating thoughts like this.

[Meedo]

what you said made perfect sense. best answer right here

[kholland65]

I understand your points but the only issue I ever have with the cliche statement about confidence is that women don't hold themselves to the say standard. They expect men to chase after women with complete disregard to everything else, but women will not do the same. Women are more fearful of rejection than men but society just accepts their cowardice. I think women simply set the bar to high in terms of what they should reasonably expect a man to do without reciprocity.

[Sekaya]

Ideal FANTASY scenario (super unlikely to happen, but is my guilty fantasy, haha) would be to meet "the one" while travelling with some backpacking groups around the world. I know it's happened before, but it's not the most common thing.

I dunno, there's just something about being out of your element and exploring the world and running into someone you're interested in by complete chance and spending that trip sharing those special moments together.

My ideal scenario for a guy approaching me in real life to ask for a date would be him to not try to be crafty or manipulative about it; instead, just coming up to me and saying that he was interested to learn more about me, and had a good vibe, that you caught his eye, etc etc. Not necessarily a physical compliment, but a friendly, not necessarily sexual-from-the-get-go approach. If I hear physical compliments right off the bat, I leap to the conclusion you're just scouting for girls at random and seeing who might let you in their pants, and I will run most of the time from that type...unless I'm feeling energetic and willing to run them in circles or some such, but that already means I'm not taking a guy who approaches in such a way seriously.

[Moonrisekitten]

One of my fantasies, in a crowded place, could be anywhere, party, concert, etc. Guy sees me across room. We lock eyes. I smile and look down. Then look up to see him smiling still looking at me. He starts walking towards me, parting the crowd, eyes on me the entire time. He finally gets to me and shys up. He says, "um... I don't really know why I came over here.. I just... Had to... I dunno.. Can I buy you a drink or something?" Later he tells me that he experienced something magical and just felt his feel walk towards me. Like it was destiny. He says, "I hope this doesn't sound creepy, I know we just met, but I really want to see you again and get to know you better. I feel like I'd do anything just to see that smile again". I'm flattered beyond belief. We start dating. I feel confident because of how this started. We match perfectly. Happily ever after. Love at first sight

[makesumwake]

hey, thanks for sharing, vary interesting. maybe you can fill in some blanks for me. is this guy very good looking or avg? when you say you are very flattered, I'm guessing he is very good looking. otherwise, wouldn't it seem a little weird/creepy if a guy actually did that? he seems a little shy/awkward in your description, which girls don't normally like. wouldn't saying he "experienced something magical" seem corny if a guy actually said that?

[Moonrisekitten]

I love you're questions! He is cute. I didn't picture him too hot, just humbly handsome. A clean face with nice teeth and kept hair. People have better things than to live at the gym and worry about the genetics they have already been given. It wouldn't be creepy. He's not ugly. He doesn't come off as a liar. He just seems like he's surprised himself. He turns out to be confident. Still awkward though:) awkward is a must for me. And corny to me, is romance. I love corny. But sincere corny!

[Backwardflow]

There is a commercial for I think Nissan or maybe Honda where the girl rear-ends a man at a stop sign. Then the commercial shows them exchanging information in front of the car, then moving in together (packing boxes into the car), then taking a baby home in the car. That "Meet Cute" scenario is one I think about.

I know I look for the guy that goes out of his way to show interest -- a man that pays for your coffee at a coffee shop, or offers to help you load your groceries at the grocery store.The closest I got to that Meet Cute was on Mother's Day at Macy's. The man at the perfume counter next to me asked if he could spray perfume on me to see how it would smell on a woman. I thought it was slightly odd since it was for his mother, but his being forward and confident was refreshing.

[Bluegameroyon]

a commercial showing how bad female drivers are. priceless.

[Asianbarbiedoll]

I have never about meeting my dream guy before, but epwhat what better to than the present? Normally I meet people by forcing myself on them because I'll find something interesting about them as I stalk them. I think that's how I'm going to approach my future husband but with a little more delicateness. Probably meet him in collage, I will probably be sitting in front of him in like math. I'll probably stalk him for a month, watch his behavior, learn where he lives and his schedule. I'll probably do something foolish to get his attention like make him spill his drink on my at a collage party and make him drive me back to my dorm then seduce him from there. Just kidding about the seducing but Ill probably bake him something the next day as a thankyou, and then that's just hook line and sink. People fall in love with me after they taste my baking, like obsessed.

[TrishaM710]

LOL@ "stalk him for a month". Sorry. When you are seducing him at your dorm, don't mention that part.

[Asianbarbiedoll]

He will probably find out someday like when 10 years in our marriage, with like 5 dogs. I'm to immature to ever have kids. Well that's what people tell me...

[Anonymous]

I'd like to meet someone new while I'm out doing something I love. That could be a truck/tractor pull, a county fair, a livestock show, a country music concert... even through friends. Not at a bar. And since I'm almost done school, not at school either.

He'd walk over and ask me if I was enjoying myself, just casual conversation. Or if I get up the nerve to walk over to him, he'd keep a conversation going. Somehow we'd end up talking for the whole afternoon...

I don't think about it much anymore. These days, thinking about it makes me sad. Because for it to happen, I'd need to the time to go out and do something. And I'd have to want to meet someone. I'm still working through the end of my last relationship mostly because I have no idea how it ended.

[Meedo]

be optimistic :)

[Anonymous]

lol girls might do this but not women with lives.

but I would say random I like surprises he says hi my name is ryan gosseling I say you me sex now! kidding kidding

Umm hmm well I think I already had the perfect meeting I mean I did marry him in pre school ( he was kinda a cheapskate thought I didn't even get a ring pop) though seriously ha ha we have been friends since pre school he kissed me in kindergarden when he told the teacher I had something on my face he was just helping me out. we have been actively dating since 7th grade best friends before that we are now 23. I can honestly I had the perfect fairytale meeting already ha ha

[leluxe]

wow, that is practically a cory and topanga story right there. How sweet.

[JeanaeTyra]

Funny, confident but not too much to where they come across as obnoxious, protective but not too much to where I can't get the mail without him there... I've got the prefect scenario for that.

A guy approaches me and starts telling me inappropriate things like how tight my butt is or how big my breast is or perky, etc. Then(me being very pissed off I try to give him a hint he just won't take) Mr. Tall dark and handsome or just cute but funny is a must-have no exceptions. He threatens and/or scares away Mr. Won't-take-a-hint and he buys me a drink. We laugh and talk, exchange contact information... I think you're mind can take you from there...mines did;)

[Calex]

Hmm.. I'm sorry to say this but it would feel kind of wrong to use someone as a stepping stone to achieve your desires.

I thought about this scenario after reading your answer and came up with a similar one.

Basically, an unattractive girl asks me out, then I give her a hint that she is unattractive, she does not take it, so instead, a beautiful girl comes along and shoves her away and calls her an ugly brat.

Unattractive girl walks off crying as I happily.. oops ran out of text room.

[Moonrisekitten]

Nooo! Wrong idea. We wasn't ugly. He was being a dick. Hot guy stood up for her.

Imagine this...

Some skank is bitching you out about not being man enough or being a sexist or something. Cool girl comes up and is like, " Go somewhere else with your bullsh*t". Y'all laugh about crazy bitches, and go see a movie

[TrishaM710]

Common interest.

I'm in a relationship now, but if I ever was single again, I'd look for someone who enjoyed the same activities that I do.

Scenario...

I join a new hockey team. Perhaps I have good chemistry on the ice with one of my teammates. We work well together and support each other. Maybe after a good win, the team goes out to celebrate. Things might progress from there.

[Anonymous]

Well...although I have a boyfriend, I effortlessly, innocently fantasize about meeting an old guy...my one who got away.

Even though I'm in a happy relationship and I'm content: our connection seems in an entirely lower realm than the one I had with the one who got away. I fantasize about ironically bumping into him at a club, at the movies, or just out and about.

[Moon16]

I think my best fantasy meeting-a-guy-scenario would be something completely random. We get into the same cab, we run into each other in a bar, things like that. You know something light and funny and good to remember.

[Moonrisekitten]

Like its so true that you feel that way but you don't want to say it because it just sounds too perfect. That's how I am with my boyfriend. I want to tell people about him, but if I do, it just sounds like bragging. But he honestly is a stand up guy who any girl would be too lucky to date. I can tell be the way out minds meet, that it was destiny. I actually feel bad for every other girl in the world because they will never have him. Poor things. And this kind of guy only shows up once in a lifetime

[Moonrisekitten]

Whoops! Meant to comment back on my own post

[Nana_4]

I always dream of meeting my dream guy at a coffee shop, a grocery store (worker or customer), a library or sometime when I'm out and about by myself.

I don't really think about the details, I'd just hope I didn't have to make the first move.

[pigskin]

I always had this sort of weird fantasy that maybe I'd get to meet a cool nature dude in a forest and we can st up camp close to each other and go fishing and all the cool stuff.

[Anonymous]

i've stopped thinking about it. at this point I just want to meet a guy. if a nice attractive guy came up to me anywhere, I'd probably think about it. I guess an ideal situation is anywhere on campus (aside from the gym).

[makesumwake]

are you saying that guys don't usually approach you? if not why not?

whats wrong with the gym?

[Opinion Owner]

i am saying that guys don't usually approach me. and I really have no idea why. I mean probably because I don't wear makeup and I wear screened t-shirts and kinda float around campus by myself but other than that, I've got no answers. and nothing is wrong with the gym. it's just that I don't like being seen at the gym. I just learned to run longer than 30 seconds without passing out.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

Never really had a fantasy about it. But just a nice attractive young manly man to say Hi talk to me like a normal human being I guess with some flirting in between.

[kangaru]

At a foreign country. .someone who approach me

It won't be at bar or club.

He would say with blush ..hi can know you...I would say sure

as long as he doesn't give me creepy feeling or come across as a smooth talker

[chrome]

so if he's hot he can approach you. good to know

[kangaru]

i didn't mention 'hot' in the above right?

even if he isn't hot he is welcome to approach me.

[Anonymous]

I meet a guy I think is cute. He chats a bit and we have a lot in common. We get to know each other over the next month or so snd then decide to be exclusive. Then we have steamy sex. And then a yummy dinne . And maybe a beer.

[ArabianPwincess197]

Bookstore - randomly

School - new foreign exchange student - in my class - like the movie Love Story

[laseredandpierced]

Irresistable to say: "not at all". Men don't understand that girls can do very well without them...

[COCOCHANEL]

at a client's dinner party