Want to be happy? Avoid doing these!

[mskay]

Avoid doing these if you want to be happy :

1. Living in the past

The past is over, there's nothing you can do about it anymore. Move on. Bring along the lessons you learned from your past to the future, instead of dwelling on it constantly.

2. Comparing yourself to others

You are who you are. You are not someone else. Don't compare yourself to others, the only person that you could be better than is the person you were yesterday. You will only set back your own personal progress if you remain fixated on others' progress.

3. Involving yourself in drama

There's no reason for you to butt into someone else's business. I'm sure you'd be pissed off if someone did it to you. Try not to involve yourself in stuffs that are completely irrelevant to your life.

4. Having pessimistic thoughts/tendencies

Seeing the glass half empty is a terrible way to go about life. The saying - "If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back." exists for a reason.

5. Over criticizing yourself

No doubt, self-reflection is a good tool in life. But that's a different meaning when you constantly put yourself down. Think positively, open up your mind, focus on improving yourself rather than hating on yourself.

Despite what many would believe, it's always not too late to seek and bring happiness into your life. Achieving happiness isn't a one step process, and the feat sure isn't easy either.

[Sara413]

You're bang on, and I disagree with others here that they are difficult to implement. It just comes down to choosing where you direct your energy.

I used to suffer from clinical depression and I finally dug my way out of that hole using cognitive-behaioural therapy. I've had my relapses, but I haven't had an episode in over 5 years, happy to say :)

CBT taught me a lot of important things about how to control my own thoughts, and I think it can be an effective way for anyone to transform their life, whether they are clinically depressed or not. Even if you just feel in a bit of a rut, CBT can help. It's all about actively recognizing, breaking down, and restructuring your thought processes to be healthier and more aligned with reality.

When you catch yourself living in the past, recognize what you're doing and actively replace those thoughts with positive things about what you are doing now or where you are going, or goals you want to set or have set.

When you compare yourself to others, remind yourself of exactly what the Take author here said - it's not about being better than others, it's about being better than who you were yesterday.

When you find yourself getting sucked into other peoples' drama, remind yourself "not my circus, not my monkeys". If it's your own drama, consider who or what it is that is causing the drama and whether that thing or person is toxic , or if it is how you are handling it that is toxic, then either cut them out or adjust your reactions accordingly.

When you're being pessimistic or overly critical of yourself, take a step back and THINK: is this True, is this Helpful, is this Insightful or Inspiring, is this Necessary, is this Kind? Remember, being KIND to yourself is as important as being kind to others.

[mskay]

OMG thank you so much!! 🙈🙉🙊 I'm glad that you're all good now 😄

[LaikaFreefall]

This is a bit simplistic, isn't it? Kind of like saying "if you want to be happy, avoid feeling/doing all these things that typically make a person feel unhappy." :)

It's not really as easy as all that, is it? If it was that easy, I think people would probably be much more capable of just being happy.

[mskay]

Yeah, I know it's not that easy. But like what @vishna said, simple is better when making small steps.

[Sara413]

Honestly, though, I think a lot of people avoid taking responsibility for their own happiness. I know I did for years, and I have 5 past years of crippling depression to show for it...

[BeautifulMind59]

I'm sorry, but to people who are truly in need of finding happiness, these things are too cliche, and are not only unhelpful, but they are too demanding and so can make an unhappy person even unhappier. In a "mytake" you are supposed to write your own experiences and thoughts and feelings, or how you got through a certain situation, or through life.
This was actually just commanding other people to do the impossible.
There are people out there who devote endless years of their lives to study human nature and how it works and what makes it tick, and how it defines and experiences happiness in addition to multitudes of other emotions. They're called "psychologists". I truly wonder what makes you think you are in a position to make such final decisions for other people. I strongly doubt you are a psychologist. But I highly recommend that you see one, and stop hurting already unhappy poor souls and sending them over the edge faster than they deserve.
P. s. I dare you to re-post your MyTake, but this time allow anonymous posts. I highly suspect you will hear a lot more on people's true feelings, and maybe that will give you a more REALISTIC view of the situation, and help you get outside of your self-righteous bubble.

[Sara413]

It comes down to choosing where you direct your energy.

I suffered with clinical depression for several years and I finally dug my way out of that hole with the aid of a really great therapist, using cognitive-behaioural therapy. I've had my relapses, but I haven't had an episode in over 5 years, happy to say.

CBT taught me a lot of important things about how to control my own thoughts, and I think it can be an effective way for anyone to transform their life, whether they are clinically depressed or not. Even if you just feel in a bit of a rut, CBT can help. It's all about actively recognizing, breaking down, and restructuring your thought processes to be healthier and more aligned with reality.

When you catch yourself living in the past, recognize what you're doing and actively replace those thoughts with positive things about what you are doing now or where you are going, or goals you want to set or have set.

[Sara413]

When you compare yourself to others, remind yourself of exactly what the Take author here said - it's not about being better than others, it's about being better than who you were yesterday.

When you find yourself getting sucked into other peoples' drama, remind yourself "not my circus, not my monkeys". If it's your own drama, consider who or what it is that is causing the drama and whether that thing or person is toxic , or if it is how you are handling it that is toxic, then either cut them out or adjust your reactions accordingly.

When you're being pessimistic or overly critical of yourself, take a step back and THINK: is this True, is this Helpful, is this Insightful or Inspiring, is this Necessary, is this Kind? Remember, being KIND to yourself is as important as being kind to others.

[Sara413]

I may not be a psychologist, but I have real-world experience that tells me that this Take was bang-on.

Obviously, there are people out there for whom applying these strategies is not going to be enough on it's own, but I still think that they can be helpful alongside professional aid. It's never harmful to actively and consciously divest yourself of negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.

[BeautifulMind59]

My problem is exactly with your last sentence: "It's never harmful...".
In fact that is exactly the part I disagree with. It CAN be and IS harmful to a larger majority of people than you think. I've witnessed it. Because of the way our minds are made, that way of thinking can easily backfire, and the result is going deeper into unhappiness. We have very complicated defense mechanisms, and navigating them requires very delicate moves, or else you could get more hurt. It's just like getting the wrong medication or surgery, and saying well if I didn't get better, at least it wasn't harmful. Does that make the smallest bit of sense to you?
If you have noticed, most of the people with high combinations of xper and mho have expressed higher levels of doubt towards this mytake; for example it's a bit simplistic, etc.
I would say if you don't feel happy, make sure you see a therapist. You could hurt yourself, and you should take these things seriously. A small cavity if left...

[BeautifulMind59]

... unchecked and untreated, or if treated by an unlicensed dentist, and treated wrongly, could overtime lead to loss of a tooth. You wouldn't want that for your teeth, why would you want it for your psyche which is also an important body part. Or the same with a mistreated throat infection caused by a simple cold, can lead to damage to your heart valves. So see a professional, don't go around giving people wrong advice. You could hurt them for life and you wouldn't want to be responsible for something like that.

[BeautifulMind59]

Treating tooth decay sounds easy too! You just scrape out the decayed parts and stuff it with amalgam!
But in practice is it really that simple?
Do you go around telling people: scrape it out! You can do it! just be strong! keep working on it! you can tolerate the pain if you're strong and if you don't think about it! just ignore the pain and you will be ok in the end!
Not being happy is a problem. Accept it. See the right kind of doctor. Seek a remedy.

[Prof_Don]

Nobody's perfect... but you're spot on. Minimizing these things is essential to being happy.

I also would say that a #6 to add is to enjoy the small things in life. Too many people overlook minority things such as enjoying sporting events, eating certain foods and drinks, and down time with certain people.

[Prof_Don]

*minor things

[mskay]

Yes I forgot about the small things in life, maybe there'd be part II coming soon ahah xD

Thank you for reading :)

[Prof_Don]

You're welcome, Ms. Kay. :)

[Aztecwarrior480]

Here are other things that I'd like to add to your list:

6.) Wasting your time on GAG trolls and flamers (or any internet troll and flamers for that matter).

7.) Caring about what society things of you. (Here's a meme dedicated to my #7) weknowmemes.com/.../the-less-you-give-a-fuck.jpg

8.) Getting yourself into any sort of trouble in the real world, whether it's a fist fight (unless it's strictly for self-defense) heated debate, etc.

[Aztecwarrior480]

*thinks*

[cinderelli]

very nice take.. loved the 4th point... the quote is awesome.. :)
33.media.tumblr.com/.../...w4niPY5B1rxa7hy_500.gif

[mskay]

Thank you ☺

[Balcazaurus]

I went through some real tough emotional and personal growth over the past year, it really tested and broke me.

But, I think it was probably a good thing because after picking myself up, I feel so much better about everything. I'm happier, more confident, not so doubtful. However, I'm still realistic, somewhat insecure (but who isn't?), and rather reserved, but that's just who I am. Nonetheless, I have really come to love life more.

In short: Good take. Really reflects how I see things now.

Hope everyone finds their inner peace. Ideally, you won't have to be broken, but instead come to a more merciful epiphany.

[kill-switch]

You have a very good point and I see what you mean but happiness isn't actually always your choice because some people were raised badly like me and I had a tough childhood growing up I don't have a family I never knew my real parents I live in a world I don't belong in but the world I do belong in the thing is happens and is happening all the time are wars and that's it basically I am trying to find my world where I belong which means I'm trying to find my happiness but it's just that in this world everything is such an illusion to me and it's too hard sometimes it's also a long story with me it's hard to get into detail about it but I will just leave it at this.

[Octavius]

I disagree with 5. It's the best way to self-improvement. Never be content with anything that you do. Always strive to become something greater. You may not live the happiest life that way but you become way more than you would have if you just lived a regular happy life. But that's just what I find important in life. Other might value happiness more so I think it's just a matter of opinion.

[Sara413]

I think that you can be content but still strive for more. It's not necessary to be cruelly critical of yourself to motivate yourself to be better - in fact, that is often counter productive because you convince yourself that you can't be better. If you are truly confident in yourself, you are able to consider your shortcomings and effectively find ways to overcome them.

[Ozanne]

Nice Take :) Sometimes the simplest things are the ones we seem to overlook. People are so consumed with their own problems that they don't realize that happiness is easier achieved than they think.

[mskay]

Thank you 😊

[vishna]

This is a nice MyTake. I like how you encourage people in simple terms how to be happier, or at least try to be happier.

Honestly, simple is better when making small steps, especially when people are going through heavy things. Grabbing onto one idea (ex, no bad thoughts) and succeeding in that is a great motivation and confidence booster.

[mskay]

Thank you 😊 Yes, it's best to start with simple things and from that you could achieve more.

[Hannah591]

Trended! :)

Lovely take. I hope people listen to it. Happiness is definitely a choice.

[mskay]

Thank you 😊

Definitely! Some people just gotta understand that happiness is a choice.

[CocoRachelle]

Nice Take! I definitely need to work on #5, I'm very self critical.

[mskay]

Ahah same 🙈🙉🙊 I can't help it sometimes

[CocoRachelle]

Same. I just want to be my best, but when I see those flyaways or something, I need to fix it. : Haha

[Unit1]

Outstanding take!

I kinda figured on my own these but to see someone else saying these (to confirm these) makes me more happy :)

Also rule 3,5 - Avoid negative individuals. They are dragging you down with their (overreacting) pessimism and dramas.

Enjoy your life (for you only live once haha xD)!

[mskay]

Thank you very much! :)

[OrdinaryGentleman]

I really enjoyed this my-take. Instead of dawdling it went straight to the point of making your life better:P

[mskay]

Thank you :)

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Would you mind doing a my_take on pessimistic thoughts and tendencies? I think it would help a lot of people :)

[NovaLS]

Awesome take and definitely a lot of truths. Happiness is a mindset and can be difficult and sometimes on certain days impossible but it is achievable :) and not to be nosy but are you LDS? I liked the quote.

[mskay]

Pardon my ignorance, but what's LDS? Thank you by the way :)

[NovaLS]

You are quite welcome thanks for the write up :) LDS is Latter Day Saints or Mormons. Thomas S Monson whom you quoted is the spiritual leader of their church. Pretty insightful quote though.

[mskay]

Oh I'm not a mormon 🙈🙉🙊

[NovaLS]

Haha just wondering. I am not either but I have some friends who are.

[JohnStamoist]

A lot of good points you make, definitely difficult to implement. For me the hardest one is comparing myself to others. I find myself doing this a lot when I get rejected then see the same person with another guy.

[YourFutureEx]

Thanks for writing on the greatest virtue of life, the happiness.

But it's not as easy as it sounds. Of course not. People like monks could achieve this and it needs a lot of time.

[mskay]

It's definitely not easy. But it also depends on the individuals, some may easily be happy, some not. It just varies.

[YourFutureEx]

What my point was, the "some" who can easily be happy are the ones who follow these steps naturally and rest cannot follow them.

[mskay]

Oopsy 🙈🙉🙊 sorry, I didn't read properly, haven't slept ><

[KevinA]

"You do not find the happy life... you make it." I cannot agree more on this, great take @mskay

[mskay]

Thank you :)

[EmpatheticLady]

I enjoyed this Take. It was short and to the point, while still being informative. Though easier said than done, I really need to work on #5 myself.

[mskay]

Thank you 😊 yeah, things are always easier said than done. I struggle with all of these and is still working on it.

[EmpatheticLady]

Yeah, I'm the same as you, but the last point is my biggest downfall. I see the old me, so I keep constantly putting myself down when I'm not the same anymore.

[Jxpxtxr]

What a beautiful take :) I think we could all follow your advice more often, at least I could.

[mskay]

Thank you 😘

[youknowitt]

I love this post :) thanks for posting and putting a smile on my face

[mskay]

omg this made my day! So happy to hear I put a smile on someone's face 😄 Thank you 😘

[youknowitt]

<3 good vibes to you and let us always be content with our lives! :D