The 12 Stages of Drunkenness

[Anonymous]

Stage 1- The beginning of the end

You know that by finishing this glass you will be drunk. This is the last sip that you will be able to feel running down your throat before becoming totally numb to all forms of embarrassment.

Stage 2- You put your drink somewhere, forget it, then take another

You finish the stack of cups, and you DON'T CARE!

Stage 3- You have to pee for the first time

You think you're okay, but once you're in the bathroom, you realise that the room is spinning, and how drunk you are.

Stage 4- You say you're not drunk but your body shows the opposite

Clearly no one believes you, and you don't even believe yourself.

Stage 5- You try to talk about everything

You think that you can solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict after a margarita and a mojito.

Stage 6- You think you're funny as hell, and start making jokes…but it was clearly a mistake since they were slightly (very) offensive

*crickets chirp*

Stage 7- You have a little stomach ache, but you still have hope

You think it's because of the delicious (but slightly unsanitary) hot dog that you had for lunch and that you'll be fine.

Stage 8- You lose this hope, and start repainting the walls with your mouth

Yes, we are talking about vomit.

Stage 9- The bouncer refuses to let you into the club

Sorry but that vomit stain on your shirt can't hide your lack of sobriety.

Stage 10- Your texts and tweets don't make any sense

And teh mroe yuo dkrin teh lessssssss yeiejzaokbz

Stage 11- You start flirting and kissing anyone (or anything)

You finally get some action after long months of nothing.

Stage 12- You wake up and have lost 3 of your 5 senses

And you must pretend to be as fresh as a daisy in front of your boss or professor.

[HotJealousy]

This is too true, except I don't throw up, never have from drinking :P except missed the bit where you wake up, turn your head and see someone who you have never seen before and have no idea who they are 0.0 happened to me once, turned out to be my friends room mate. Also stage 6 begins at stage 0 and never ends :P

[HotJealousy]

Remeber when I said I'd never thrown up from drinking? Well new years changed that

[PrincessPie]

Stage 10 is one i know very well lol.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

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[FreshOutaIdeas]

As a legendary man once said; "only way you can get hungover is by not drinking enough"!!!

Too many lightweights these days hehe

[YourFutureEx]

This seems to be written by a professional writer.

by the way, I've been to the stage 7
Gotta up my drinking game.

[PoeticMemory]

Still laughing at the Homer Simpson gif hahahahah omg

[Anonymous]

Written by someone who has never been drunk, I think. Or else they'd have known that step 1 doesn't exist.

[MysteriousDarkness]

Getting drunk no matter how drunk you get is pointless and ugly.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Very well written thanks for sharing your MyTake with us.

[JSmuve]

LOL! You probably speak from loads of experience eh.

[orangecherry]

What about the part where you wake up grab your clothes and scamper off home!

[WTFliberals]

That's funny as shit ! lol

[cupidkisses]

That's great! :D :D :D

[NickoN]

LOL are there 12 stages of being drunk? haha

[hotstuff85]

I've been down this road many times

[Craigdon]

I got to 11

Hate it

[bente2]

I skip 6, 8 and 12

[Anonymous]

I can relate to so many of these. Lol

[capturemyheartnow]

I am at Zero stage.

[readywriter]

Really Good,