20 Ways On How To Annoy A Scandinavian

WARNING! This MyTake isn't meant to be taken too seriously and has a lot of exaggeration in it. Some are also based on stereotypes and jokes associated with Scandinavia. Other things are real to an extent, but don't apply to everyone in Scandinavia. Not everything is true though and some of it are dark humor. Readers are advised and read on your own risk. You may get a heart attack! By the way, I'm a Scandinavian myself.

1. Claiming that Norway, Sweden and Denmark are all the same

Like how triplets are different individuals, that's how the Scandinavian countries are different countries too
Like how triplets are different individuals, that's how the Scandinavian countries are different countries too

If you says Norway, Sweden and Denmark are the same, you would piss of many Scandinavians. In addition to being three different countries, we also have different culture, language and history. Similarities don't mean the same. Like how triplets are three different individuals, that's how the Scandinavian countries are different countries too. There's also differences between our languages that I've explained in another MyTake.

The only excuse to make an offensive statement like that are when you're from a country where you couldn't afford an education or you got a brain damage from failed ski jumping. Scandinavians do have empathy and knows when exceptions exists.

2. Claiming that Iceland and Finland are Scandinavian countries

Finland and Iceland are Nordic countries, but not really Scandinavian
Finland and Iceland are Nordic countries, but not really Scandinavian


Yes, Iceland and Finland are part of the Nordic brotherhood, but they're not a part of Scandinavia. Norway, Sweden and Denmark are the only countries included. Actually, they've been in an union together. But nowadays they're independent. They went from conjoined triplets to separated triplets. Finland and Iceland are more like cousins or distant siblings.

3. Claiming that Finland is a Scandinavian language

Finnish doesn't only stand out from Scandinavian languages
Finnish doesn't only stand out from Scandinavian languages


Finland shares no similarities with the Scandinavian languages at all and belongs to another family tree; the Finno-Ugric language group. It has both a different grammar rule, vocabulary, intonation and all these kinds of stuffs that you can find in a language. So making a such claim would be upsetting and if you can't hear the difference between them, you've probably not study hard enough.

4. Imitating a Scandinavian language

How we perceives foreigners trying to say
How we perceives foreigners trying to say "rød grød med fløde"!


Us Scandinavians are proud of our languages, so we don't want to hear anyone ruining it. The only exception are immigrants because they're supposed to learn these wonderful languages when settling here and when a Scandinavian ask you to do so, so they can get a good laugh. If a Dane gives you the permission, try to say "rød grød med fløde"!

5. Not taking off your shoes inside

20 Ways On How To Annoy A Scandinavian


That's obviously. Take that shit off so you won't spread that shit in our houses. We don't want snow, rain, mud and so on to dirtying our homes. Especially not when most of us use thousand of kroners (or several hundreds of dollars) on house makeovers. When it's too cold staying outside, we need to stay inside in our cozy place.

6. Telling Danes they're secretly Dutch

Facts don't care about feelings!
Facts don't care about feelings!

It's pretty much self-explanotory. A map and a geography lesson would make you understand!

7. Telling Swedes they're the same as Swiss

Close enough?
Close enough?


Again, look at a map!

8. Telling Scandinavians we don't look Scandinavian

We comes in different colors, shapes and sizes
We comes in different colors, shapes and sizes


That's just plain racist! Not every Scandinavians comes in the same shape and color. We're all human beings. Telling a Scandinavian they don't look Scandinavian or Nordic tells more about how you're as a person than the person's Scandinavian status. Not everyone are tall, white and blonde. We've match-sized, brown-skinned and brunette people too. Another thing, don't continue asking us where we're from when we've already answered you. Scandinavians are (mostly) honest people. Not everyone are blonde either and some are very Asian. We're not SJWs at all, we just think some of you're racist.

9. Claiming Sweden is the capital of criminality

20 Ways On How To Annoy A Scandinavian


Criminality occurs in every countries and although it's true criminality isn't none-existent in Sweden, media and haters exaggerates the rate a lot. Attention-seekers makes click baits! Just look at the US, they're way more innocent than the Swedes with one of the world's biggest imprisonment rate.

10. Claiming that Scandinavia are invaded by immigrants

We used to be masters of invading others. Now we're masters on stopping invaders!
We used to be masters of invading others. Now we're masters on stopping invaders!


Yes, it's true Scandinavians takes in many immigrants, but only legal immigrants stays. Illegal immigrants gets kicked out. If an immigrant tries doing it illegal, the vikings would handle it and that won't look pretty. Scandinavians won't be exterminated that easily, because we're proud of our nations and aren't afraid of showing it.

11. Sitting next to someone on the bus if other seats are available

Swedish, Norwegian and Danish style!
Swedish, Norwegian and Danish style!


NEVER sit next to a person on the bus if there's other seats available. If you invades someone's personal space, people may think you're a pervert. Same applies to standing too close to someone. Always stand 1 1/2 meter away from strangers.

12. Talking to people on the street

This is how you respect people!
This is how you respect people!


Again, personal space! Don't talk to a stranger, because they (usually) don't want to talk to you. They may either be busy or just aren't interested in being invaded. Same thing applies in an elevator, on the bus stop, in the grocery store etc. It's only okay to talk to strangers if they ask you, you're walking in the mountains or woods, if you're both drunk or if it's an emergency situation. Scandinavians aren't bitches. It's our nice way to be polite in!

13. Telling Scandinavians we're cold

20 Ways On How To Annoy A Scandinavian


The weather is cold, but that doesn't mean Scandinavians are. We're actually friendly people. We just prefer to not stalk you or do inappropriate things. What do you think of us? We're not living in a jungle and screaming at each others like animals. Most of us don't go in kindergarten anymore either and we're civilized people. Is screaming on the bus maturer? We do value the freedom of privacy and the freedom of choosing not to talk.

14. Telling a Scandinavian another Scandinavian country is better

20 Ways On How To Annoy A Scandinavian


Again, nationalism. We're proud of our countries and don't like to be compared to each other. Especially not if you talks shit about our countries. But saying our countries do it better than other none-Scandinavian countries won't offend most of us.

15. Singing "Bork, bork, bork!"



That's how you annoys a Swede.

16. Telling Danes their language is ugly

Do you want a kartoffel-war? Do you want a Dane choking you stuffing a potato in your throat?
Do you want a kartoffel-war? Do you want a Dane choking you stuffing a potato in your throat?


Danes are proud of their soft and cute language. If you insults their language, you're insulting Danes as a whole nation. Don't tell them their language are ugly or sounds like a potato in their throat, because then you're asking for a kartoffel-war.

17. Telling Swedes they sounds horny

20 Ways On How To Annoy A Scandinavian


Same as 16, you're insulting a language they're proud of. Telling Swedes it sounds like singing and they're talented is okay, but insults aren't.

18. Saying Scandinavians are communists

20 Ways On How To Annoy A Scandinavian


Social-democracy isn't the same as communism. The Soviet union and China used to be communist. We're not communists. We support both a democracy, free market and business growth. It's just that many of us thinks universal healthcare and education are a good idea. Many of us don't want people to be broke just because of cancer or a broken leg like in the states.

19. Eye contact with strangers

Eye contact with strangers be like...
Eye contact with strangers be like...


It's only a thing you can do to strangers to make an awkward situation or make people feel uncomfortable. Don't do that in the bus, bus stop, elevator or grocery store. It's however encouraged to do eye contacts on a job interview and when you're talking to friends or family members. Eye contact is sacred and only a thing we wants to do with people we cares about or would play an important role in our lives. As social beings, we don't sacrifice more energy than needed.

20. Talking negatively about our countries (especially if you're an immigrant)

Viking rage, you heard it!
Viking rage, you heard it!


Don't talk negatively about our countries except if you wants to see a viking's rage! Although we're finished with our countries' puberty, also known as the viking and medieval time, we still have our genes.

It's especially important if you're an immigrant, since you're supposed to be thankful for we letting you suck on our welfare system. If you're a tourist, we appreciates feedback since we makes load of money on tourism in addition to things like IKEA, oil, fish, wood, cars etc. depending on which Scandinavian country we're talking about here. Just be nice to us and we would be nice to you.

So that's all the 20 things you should avoid except if you wants to annoy a Scandinavian or get your ass kicked by a viking. We're not violent, but we're just very very honest!!!

#Scandinavia #NordicCountries


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What Girls Said 19

  • This is too accurate! 😂 Great Take!

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  • Actually, Icelandic language is Scandinavian (from the scientific point of view):

    www.britannica.com/topic/Scandinavian-languages

    When you are trying determine the origin of language, you don't watch the map, geography is not linguistics, you need to hear the words, compare the grammar, orthography, spelling etc.
    Icelandic and Faroese are as much as Scandinavian as Swedish, Danish and Norwegian are.
    Naturally, you are right about Finnish, see on the map how far they are from other Finno-Igric languages? Estonian is their closest linguistic relative.
    On the other hand, uninformed people tend to mistake Estonian for a Baltic language, just a another confusion. Lithuanian, Latvian and Old Prussian are Baltic languages, Estonian is not (just like Finnish is not Scandinavian).
    Oh, and by the way, USSR was a socialist country, not "communist", no country in history was a communist country because communism is a stateless, classless and moneyless society. For them and for China, socialism was a path to achieve communism, but they never made any progress in achieving it.
    Communism is not bad, Stalinism is... so don't listen to ignorant Americans cause they don't know anything... Scandinavian model of economy is closer to utopia than Soviets ever were.
    China also transferred to Market Socialism which proved to be very efficient.

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  • So what is Scandanavia? Is it a country or many or you lost me. ABBA is an awesome group and Anni-Frid is sexy as hell after all these years. Actually I thought Scandanavians were a conquering society who wore those hats or helmets with the horns sticking out.

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    • 1d

      Scandinavia is three countries of Nordic ancestry - Norway, Sweden and Denmark.

  • Ohh I talked about the weird and annoying showers you have up there with the little wiper or mop to get the water out of the entire bathroom after every shower and this norwegian girl in my class seemed very perplexed and offended 😂

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  • 1d

    Scandinavians constantly criticize the United States among other nations, yet they're intolerant of criticism directed at them? Nope, doesn't work that way.

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  • The older generations of belgians, dutch and danes - they do look badly inbred

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    • I doubt it's inbreeding. I guess it's the way Nordic genes works. When you're Nordic, you would have certain facial features that's not common in other places in the world. It's evolutionary.

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      @Lovi87 look yourself in the mirror.

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      Excuse me, tell me why do they have a high rate of sexual abuse among family?

  • OH MY GOD YeS, I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT SWEDEN LIKE EVERY WOMAN GETS RAPED ON A DAILY BASIS OUTDOORS BY MUSLIMS

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  • Scandinavians do use shoes indoors. At least in posher circles. Not the same shoes as they´re wearing outdoors tho.

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    • They're not considered shoes. It's crocs or indoor sandals. It's a different thing.

    • No, high heels for women, dress shoes for men

    • I've heard it happens in parties, but not at home to people. It's very rare, so it's more an exception of the rule.

  • Oh my God, I also hate it so much when people say stuff like
    "Bangladesh and India same thing"
    "Isn't Bangladesh a part of India"
    *Calling me Indian despite me screaming at their ears continuously that I'm Bangladeshi*

    I also heard a lot of racial slurs against Indians when many racist people here assumed my country without even asking. Those were terrible.

    I understand that we share a lot in common in culture and appearance and everything and we all love our Desi culture, there are Bengali people in India as well and they are just like us. But please understand that Bangladesh is still a different country on its own. 🇧🇩

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    • Oh by the way the show thing is relatable as well! Wearing shoes inside the house is a big no-no.

  • Interesting & amusing.

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What Guys Said 17

  • I know how to annoy a Swede.

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  • Tbh. Before, all I know about Sweden are blonde people and nothing else. Now all I know about Sweden is that it's the rape capital and fell apart. That's all i hear about what people say about Sweden now. Just saying.

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    • The criminal capital thing is very exaggerated and a false prejudice toward Sweden. Criminality do happen, but isn't as frequently as people wants others to believe. Most Swedes are blonde, but some are also gingers, brunettes and blackheads.

  • Yep most of these yep...
    Don't do them just don't or we may remember axes can cleave other things than wood!

    I do slightly disagree on the point of Finland and Iceland... Slightly there are some different possible ways to define Scandinavia geographically geologically geopolitically culturally ethnically some of these Iceland belongs and parts of Finland belongs others they don't so it is a minor point

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  • 6d

    I was neutral, until you started talking about giving me permission to speak your language. You know what? Fuck off. If I want to be obnoxious and I want to butcher a foreign language, that's my prerogative. I don't need you allowing me to do that. And as long as the world keeps butchering Hungarian words, I will do whatever the fuck I want with your words.

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    • 6d

      I explained things in the beginning of the my take:

      "WARNING! This MyTake isn't meant to be taken too seriously and has a lot of exaggeration in it. Some are also based on stereotypes and jokes associated with Scandinavia. Other things are real to an extent, but don't apply to everyone in Scandinavia. Not everything is true though and some of it are dark humor."

    • 6d

      "Warning! I may or may not say stupid shit, so I won't be accountable for my actions!"
      ^^That's not a warning, that's an excuse.

  • Strange, the scientific consensus seems to be that the Nordid phenotype is what Scandinavians look like unlike what nonsense you claim.

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    • How to annoy a scandinavian, tell them scandinavians look like anyone else on the world or else they are racist.

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    • It's not what I meant. I meant regardless of which race/phenotype you're, you can still integrate and be a Norwegian. ;)

    • What I said is not incorrect you are misinterpreting what I said seemingly deliberately so
      I never said nor do I assume that dominant genes always win out over recessive genes maybe you need to read the link you provided yourself because it seems you have not quite grasped it yourself...
      Biology like the rest of reality is not so black and white
      Of course natural selection and environmental influences affect genetic adaptation
      But we are talking much longer time frames for that sort of thing
      It is not an either or situation
      Apples and oranges
      I have nothing further to say on the subject

  • Nice, the part of the US where I grew up we like our personal space. When taking the bus here at school I try to go for a seat whose neighbors are unoccupied.

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  • I think I irritated a Dane by telling her all about how great IKEA is

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    • You're a racist! Ha ha... no, I'm just kidding. But yes, it's true many confuse Scandinavians with each others. Some even believes we're a country instead of several like how people believes Africa is a country. There are many countries in this world, so remember all of them are difficult.

    • Well, I know Denmark and Sweden are different countries, and I think IKEA is a Swedish thing. I just assumed that since she's Scandinavian that she'd be excited about IKEA furniture. Turns out to be incorrect.

    • When you talks about this topic, many none-Swedish Scandinavians assume you believes they're Swedish.

  • At number 10 bud, Sweden literally deports legal immigrants who have done no wrong and the illegal or criminal ones stay in the country for the most part. There are according to reports over 30,000 illegal immigrants/refugees in Sweden currently and criminal immigrants/refugees are rarely deported. While someone who worked a few hours too much and not taking vacation gets deported (Not joking that has happened several times already)

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    • Oh yeah Swedes cannot be proud of being Swedish or show any pride in their nation or any form nationalism even thought it could be "I like my own country" because you'll be stamped a racist. Norwegians and Danes can do it but Swedish society went back 4000 years for some reason and decided "Fuck it, literally" We even have dumb foreigners in media saying Swedish nationalism is bad and every Swedish nationlist is homophobe, racist, nazi and so on then they go on about their own country and how fucking great it is and their nationalism is good. That doesn't go togheter in my mind. If nationalism is bad then all forms of it is bad but if some are good then what is the difference? Media tried to push Catalonian and Kurdish nationalism but Swedish nationalism? No no! None of that here!

  • You’re doing a real good job dealing with immigrants 👌

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  • No eye contact? So sad...

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    • It's only with strangers. If it's your family, friends, co-workers, boss, teacher or anything like that - it's actually expected of you to have eye contact. I think Somali are way worse. They may be way louder than Scandinavians because of their culture, but they won't have eye contact with anyone when they're in their home country.

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