He had sex with me while I was drunk and asleep?

[Anonymous]

He's a "friend" we were hanging out, just got done partying. I had entirely too much to drink. The only thing I remember is waking up with my pants not pulled up and him acting really weird. I had on high waisted pants and when I woke up my pants were at my butt.

I didn't say anything yet. What do I say, and when do I say it?

Updates

+1 y

This was a day ago, I'm really torn. I've known this guy for 6 years. How could he violate me like that?

[hopromantic]

Rule #1 dont trust a man! Especially when you are drinking with him!

You need to say something maybe even press charges he was wrong he took advantage of you at a moment when he knew you were vulnerable and was incapable of saying no just to be safe and protect yourself go get a plan b as well as get tested and something you should also keep in mind is that time means nothing so you (knowing) him for six years meams nothing obviously because look at what he did to u while u were vulnerable! And even if he didn't do it a good friend would have protected you and would have gotten you out of there! Stand up for yourself and say something because if you dont NO ONE WILL

[Anonymous]

Yeah most men will abuse drunk women if they have the chance. Especially 'friends'... You need to confront him and just ask him 'what the fuck happened.. why was my pants pulled below my ass.

And one word of advice: always have a female friend with you who can drink moderately so she can keep an eye out and make sure shit like this doesn't happen. Or you just need to start learning how to drink moderately. When you're passed out.. for all you know a guy could call all his friends to fuck you witjout a condom.. al cumming inside you.. pass you around like a real life blow up doll.

Don't be so dumb the next time!

[bubblebuddy123]

hwo would you know he actually did anything to you.. You can't accuse him. If you feel pain and or wetness that could be the situation. Were you both drunk or just you?

[Asker]

Only me. He was the designated driver.

[bubblebuddy123]

Ok. Well do you feel any pain down there? Did you ask him if anything happened? Is there any evidence that something did happen? Condom in the garbage?

[Punkbuster107]

Read very carefully... If you are not in a proper state of mind you CANNOT give consent! This is why hooking up with drunk people is so dangerous!

1) If you can't remember giving consent, it is rape
2) If you remember letting it happen, but you were too intoxicated to make a decision while it happened, even if you didn't say "no" it is STILL rape.

Be you have to be brave! It doesn't matter how long he was your friend, this man is a villain and only you can stop him before he does it to someone else! Talk to somebody, be it family, police, psychologist, victim hotline, anything!

[srslyly]

Legally, your #1 is dead wrong.

[Punkbuster107]

Nah...

[Punkbuster107]

Read this. www.stsm.org/myths-and-facts-about-sexual-assault-and-consent

[srslyly]

Well, they didn't teach victim advocacy in the law school I went to. They only taught law. There's a concept in criminal law called "mens rea". (Latin for guilty mind) I know victim advocates want to eliminate that concept as it relates to sex crimes, but they haven't succeeded, yet.

[Punkbuster107]

You went to law school, but did they give you a degree?

[srslyly]

Yes, they sure did. It's from a third tier, state funded diploma mill, but it was good enough to get me into the bar exam (which I only failed once before I passed it) I'm not even kidding. On the facts above, since she doesn't remember, it's not an open and shut case. It would depemd on his story and what physical evidence could be collected. While honest, but negligent belief on the defendant's part that consent was given is still rape, honest and reasonable belief that consent was given is not. These things can get very fact specific, and the defendant need only raise a reasonable doubt.

[Punkbuster107]

Good, defendants should have rights too. Regardless, the poster deserves a proper investigation, and that the rapist described deserves to be held accountable for whatever actions can be proven.

[Punkbuster107]

Sorry, *alleged rapist*.

[srslyly]

He deserves to be held accountable for whatever actually happened, but the justice system in a free society can only punish him for what we can prove.

Never form your understanding of any law based on the statements of people who advocate changing that specific law, especially if they give zero fucks about due process.

[srslyly]

@GirlsAskGuys I requested that my convo with this user be hidden. Please see my message to you.

[dev765]

Are you going to report your situation to the police?

[Asker]

I know what I have to do. It's just so hard, I'm so emotional.

[dev765]

Is this your first time being drunk around him? He probably has already done this multiple times.

[Asker]

Yes, my first time being drunk and alone with him.

[dev765]

Quite sad that he has known you for 6 years and would do such a thing to his friend.

[Asker]

I'm so devastated. Should I report him then tell him, or tell him then report him?

[dev765]

Definitely make a report first and foremost.

[Asker]

He admitted to it. He's making it sound like it was a mutual agreement between us. I don't even like him enough to want to kiss him let alone have sex. I can't believe this.

[Blueeyes81]

If you suspected you were raped you should have gone to the police ASAP. It may be to late. The other fact is you have no memory. It could be you were trying to pee and where having problems and he helped you out by pulling up your pants. What I'm saying is without the rape kit and memory you just don't know what happened, it could be innocent or it could be rape.

[Anonymous]

Run a few things through first.. how drunk were u? Is there any possible way that you could've gotten up to go to the bathroom? Kind of lame, but you just want to be entirely sure.. rape is a big accusation. Also, after having sex, you feel different down there. Are u experiencing that at all?

[Asker]

I felt different down there definitely, and I was extremely drunk.

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like rape to me then :-/ don't hesitate to report him.

[ThatOneHipsterAna]

I'm so sorry no one should ever be treated that way, make sure you get his ass reported to the authority. Oh but tell your father first so he can get his ass kicked before he goes to jail.👍👍

[georgemina]

that is horrible he rapped u u should tell the police what r u waiting for he is not a friend he is a stupid and deserve jail did u tell uour mother or dad u should cut the friend ship line between that asshole

[amandagayle252074]

Go get a rape kit done and get his ass in trouble. I've been raped and I never got a kit done and it's one of my biggest regrets.

[meatballs21]

He sexually assaulted or raped you. You should be saying something to the police.

[noisychicken]

That would be rape so I would definitely report him immediately.

[Anonymous]

So you don't remember? If you don't know what happened I don't know how you expect a jury to know.

But if you're actually saying that you know for sure that he had sex with you without your consent then you should tell the police

[Anonymous]

Go with the authorities as son as possible, if there still are fluids they can be used as evidence...

[rjroy3]

Go to the police and tell them "I think" I might have been raped, then explain the situation. They can test for dna

[rjroy3]

It looks like he did, but on the off chance he didn't you should try to get evidence and talk to people who were there and ask what they saw

[srslyly]

Make a report now. Evidence collection is time sensitive.

[legalboxers]

rape charges.. dont wash your clothes..

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

Thats rape report him

[Anonymous]

Never heard that before... drunk girl gets into trouble...

[Anonymous]

Go get a rape kit done
This will only go to trial if you have evidence

[Sully1310]

U probably were the one that wanted to fuck him but were so drug unpast out and dont even remember what u did

[Sully1310]

Drunk*

[Asker]

Absolutely not. I don't even think in a drunken state I would want to fuck him.

[harrison102]

You should get him done that is rape

[lake09]

Huh drunk and passed out.. perfect. That's how...