Is "bud" friend-zoning, and can I still get out of it?

[Anonymous]

She called me "bud". I think that means she's friend-zoning me. Can I still get out of it. How?

[cantsaylol]

"Friend zone" is there, what that means is she likes u as a person but can not find u attractive enough to like u romantically.

While it's nearly impossible, it is possible to get out of friendship and get romantically involved. I'd explain but it'll take forever lol, the process is too long.. Literally if u can't figure it out.. U'll need to be coached but to answer u

Yes u can get out of the friendZone

[Asker]

Keep in mind, I've never been out with her. I just know her from her place of work. Never had the guts to actually ask her out

[cantsaylol]

Wait, so then how are u in a friendZone?
For all she knows is ure just an acquaintance..

How long have u known her? And how often do u talk to her/ see her? How close r u with her?

[Asker]

If I wasn't a "friend" she wouldn't call me "bud", right? I've known her for about a month and a half or so. I don't see her that often, maybe once a month, not too close. We kind of got in to a major fight, that, even though I know I was right, I've learned that women are always right, no matter what. That doesn't mean I'll always agree, it just means, I have to learn how to not fight about disagreements. So we didn't talk for quite a bit. But I recently apologized to her and she accepted and loved my apologetic gift because I "remembered something about her" when it came to the gift

[Anonymous]

When you realize you are in the friendzone, it is too late! You carry the mark now, it's time to head for pastures new where it is not recognized by other wenches!

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[Opinion Owner]

"Bud" means nothing man, you haven't been friendzoned! It's a loose term that people use, you're over thinking shit! And I.. was being sarcastic lol

[Asker]

"loose term"?

[Opinion Owner]

a term that means nothing, I'm a toff from England- if I call you darling in conversation it means... absolutely fuck all! lol

[Asker]

I have a friend of a friend who calls me darling. She's gotten in trouble at work for doing it. It's just her natural way of speaking

[Opinion Owner]

I'm careful at work, even though it's OK with some pretty senior people. It's best to keep it professional at all times, or you'll get bitten on the bottom one day! lol

[misupanda]

There is no "friend zone". A girl either likes you for who you are or she doesn't. If she doesn't, move on and find someone who does. If she does, hurray! Some people marry their childhood friends. Some people don't. I don't think calling you "bud" is an indication of liking or not liking you though.

[Asker]

So you're saying guys and girls can't be "just friends"? Aren't you the cynic

[misupanda]

Huh? That's not what I'm saying at all. :p Actually, it's just the opposite. I have guy friends who will always remain guy friends. Some of these guy friends like me. Even if they're nice and interesting, I may not date them. It's not because they're "friendzoned", it's because they have certain qualities (or lack of) that is not appealing to me in a romantic interest. People overcomplicate simple things too much. She either likes you or doesn't, and you may be able to change it, but you may have to change qualities of yourself to do it. That's why you should just move on if she doesn't. The whole "friendzone" concept implies the girl (or guy) has done something wrong, it's depicted as something negative. In reality, nobody owes anyone anything, and it's not the person's fault if they simply don't desire you romantically.

[cantsaylol]

While I agree with her but "changing ur self" I don't necessarily agree with. I'd like to think all men (and women) have good characteristics that the opposite would find attractive.
And in most cases it's true, but the hard part is to spark the chemistry to have the opposite sex to see it and appreciate those good qualities of the individual.
Men are more shallow physically, while women are shallow on emotionally.. To a woman a 5 looking dude can look like a 8 or 9 if his character qualities intrigue her enough.

So while this wonderful misupanda is correct, there are certain things that can be changed.. "Desire romantically" like I've mentioned "friendZone" does exist.. She likes the guy as a person (he can be fun, dependable etc etc) but she's just not attracted to the guy romantically

To get out of the friendZone like she mentioned "desire romantically" is the key.. And while it is hard and challenging.. It is achievable

[cantsaylol]

I made a comment on hers, because I want the asker to know what sort of challenges he will face, see how women think.. Absorb that.. Understand it.. And use it

[misupanda]

@cantsaylol Well, sometimes it can't be helped though. I suppose it depends on the situation. For example, I have one guy friend who likes me a lot, and he's super nice, and most girls would think he's the perfect guy. He looks like a model and is really interesting. The problem with him isn't something he could really change with me. He's the type who says what I want to hear, and I can tell that. He's really easy to lead, and it's something I don't really find appealing. I don't like being able to control a man so easily. Even if he started disagreeing with me on things, I'd know that isn't who he really is, that he only changed to please me, which would only validate my reason further. That's just an example... there's many other reasons why a girl may not want to date a guy, but... sometimes a guy can't change. A guy can certainly try and he might succeed, however I don't like the idea of changing oneself in order to make someone else happy.

[Asker]

A mistake men often make with women is that they will be to agreeing, just to please them. The problem with disagreeing though is that it often causes fights. I have no problem disagreeing with women, it's how I handle the disagreement that I struggle with, since it then "makes me an asshole". I'm a nice guy, I just don't always agree with people

[Asker]

too* agreeing

[cantsaylol]

@misupanda
I agree, everyone has their diff taste in men and women and if the chemistry just isn't there and not compatible.. It'll never work

That's why I stated its nearly impossible to get out of the friendZone, but there is still a chance for some.. The miss understood ones, if his game is improved.. It could happen

[misupanda]

@cantsaylol I suppose what I have an issue with is the term "friendzone". Because it implies the girl is doing something wrong, when she isn't obligated to do anything. For example, they'll say "She friendzoned me!" (not speaking to you specifically Asker). People have said that kind of thing and treated me like I did something wrong, because I didn't like a guy friend, when in actuality, we had nothing in common, he had qualities I didn't like in a partner, and it just would have went no where. So I hate that term. I do get what you're trying to say though, and I mostly agree with you. It's just the term "friendzone" and the negative meaning people have put on it that I disagree with.

[misupanda]

And Asker, it's not bad to agree with a girl if you do, I definitely wouldn't ever lie. Every girl is different though. Some girls may like a guy who has different views, but some girls may like guys who agree with them. Everyone has their own preferences. I think if you agree, it's important to make sure you don't appear like you're agreeing just to please her. And if you disagree, it's important to disagree in a manner where you're still respecting her opinions as well.

[cantsaylol]

Well if it counts, if the guy says "she put me in the friendZone" I believe he did something wrong lol

[Asker]

Friendzone implies women and men can be "just friends". That's why you're having a hard time with it

[Asker]

He did nothing wrong. You can't just go asking out a girl right away. That would be wrong. It's better to be friendzoned than to ask her out right away

[Error_204]

If you are so small, so petty, and so worthless that the term "bud" crushes your spirit into a fine powder I cannot imagine you escaping anything let alone an emotional pen for those who are weak and written off.

[Asker]

I don't like your attitude

[Error_204]

And I don't like your existence. Tough twinkies.

[Asker]

divorced, eh? somene's a little bitter to women

[Error_204]

I won't even guess how that is related to your fear of words in your universe.

[Watermelonoma]

i haven't personally seen a man escape the friendzone since 2006. If you think she put you there, don't think about "getting out"... think about moving on.

[Anonymous]

Tough luck. You can't undo a friend zone.

Stop being so available, accommodating, talkative and expressive next time.

[Asker]

But others are saying there's no such thing as the "friend zone"

[Opinion Owner]

Stop denying and having false hopes. Accept and move on. I hope you learned your lesson

[Asker]

It's just I'm getting mixed reaction from people. I don't know who to believe, as it is GAG after all

[Opinion Owner]

Well, if you really want to get out from friend zone then you start dating women, yeah women, as in 2 or more women. Flirt the women around her too. Then you better show to her that you still got it. But it's a 50/50 chance

[Asker]

So basically, be a player. Not cool

[Opinion Owner]

Take it or leave it bud

[Anonymous]

Lol men are so silly

[Asker]

How you mean silly?