Is smoking (weed) a deal breaker?

[Anonymous]

I am a clean girl: never smoked, or do drugs (except alcohol occasionally), and I've found myself interested in a guy who goes against my "ideal guy standards" -- he smokes both cigarettes and weed -- but I didn't know this until a year after we've known each other, and my crush on him already developed.

I'm kind of stuck as to what I should do, I've got feelings for him, but should I lower my standards and look beyond his habit, since it's really the "inside" that counts? My friends told me to get over him already because he would be a bad influence on me.

How about you girls? Would you date a guy who smokes if you don't? And out of curiosity, guys: would you date a girl that doesn't smoke (weed or tobacco) if you do?

[cajoi]

I think it really depends on the frequency of the habit. Like you, I don't smoke weed or cigs and I only drink here and there--I've never even been drunk. I find that cigs are distasteful, but weed is even more so to me because of the mind altering effects. If he does it recreationally, it's not that big of a deal. I just don't want to be around him when he does it. But, if he is one of those people that needs to get stoned every single day...then that's a deal breaker. I want my man to have a clear head when he's with me. As you may or may not know, long term use of marijuana impairs memory. I wouldn't want to deal with the fact that we may have conversations that he won't remember. Or maybe I ask him to do something and he's constantly forgetting them. That would get old, over time.

That's just me though. You have to make the final decision here. My advice would be to see how much he smokes weed and judge accordingly.

[LivelyMind]

This all depends on wht your willing to tolerate , I am currently in a situation like this with a guy where I might make me choose between me and his use of weed & sellin it since its something I dnt support . He seems to like avoid me now I assume because he's ashamed of my knowledge of it . But its like I dnt even know him anymore :$ So NO. I wouldn't because it screws up one's life , it can potentially become an addiction & I dnt want to be pressured nor caught in a situation *

[Cellophane]

Personally I don't find it a deal breaker as long as he does not pressure me to join him, and as long as that when we are alone he is not high. I know from others that most likely if you do get involved with him, you may find yourself trying something, but its not guaranteed.

[jtj25m]

It's just a part of who they are. You had feelings for him before you found out those things, I think that says a lot about him. If he doesn't let the things consume him, and he does not try to get you to join, I see no reason to not give him a chance. As for your other question, I would have more of an issue with the weed than cigarettes as it is illegal, but in moderation, as long as she stays safe and smart about it, and doesn't eat all of my food when she is high, I will not care.

[Anonymous]

If they are into weed, nope can't stand cigarettes or weed. Weed makes you lazy and dopey. It can also induce physcosis in certian individuals, some people are more susceptible than others. Not a good long term relationship, mayb short term. Plus they get the munchies after they have a session. Your fridge will be empty...

[epidemic]

if she is doing something I do not like, I wouldn't bother