I'm turning 20 in 9 days. My teenage years are almost over. And I am really getting sad and depressed by that thought. That's because I've wasted my teenage years. Every teen goes to parties, goes to night clubs, gets drunk, gets their first kiss, gets to have sex for the first time. And my teen years are almost over and I've done nothing of those things. During my teen years I had no confidence at all. I was always getting bullied, never really felt like going anywhere, or doing anything people my age were doing. Boy how I regret that now. I feel so old now too. I'm almost 20. My life is basically over. It hasn't even started yet and it's already over. I fear my entire life is gonna be like this. Because I still don't have any confidence. And who on earth wants to date a 20 year old virgin who's never been drunk, and doesn't even know what the inside of a night club looks like?
I know, I can still do some of those things. But the thought of doing them now frightens me. I don't have any friends to go with, so that's not an option. And walking into a night club without friends immediately makes me seem like a loser.
Am I even a normal person? I feel like I'm getting so old. I don't hang out with people my age, maybe that's the reason. But oh how I regret not being a normal teen. But it's too late now. I couldn't get those things then, I won't get them now. It's too late.
Most Helpful Girl
I feel you man :s , I've felt similarly :( . But here's the thing: comparison will kill you. We get this idea drilled into us that there's a time table for life experiences and we need to 'keep up', with these expectations, with our generation. But everyone is different, if you're a 'late bloomer', that doesn't mean you're left behind, it means you're getting where you need to be your own way.
My teen years mainly sucked too, I got bullied in school, had my confidence kind of shot as a result, and I still don't have many friends now. I get that it's hard :s
I don't drink and decided ages ago that I never wanted to so I can't really empathize with wanting to get drunk, other than to say you don't have to! Just because it's expected, doesn't mean you have to. I've been to clubs 3 times in my life and disliked every single time :/
Every 'kiss' I had in my teens (I think maybe 3 in total, not counting stage kisses for a school play :') ) was an experience I don't particularly want to remember. My first kiss that I enjoyed was at twenty with my boyfriend. Twenty was also the age I lost my virginity, also to my boyfriend; and I'm glad that was when it happened. It was right, I was with the right person, and we were both ready (he was a virgin too before, at 19, nearly 20).
Intimate things like that are worth it for the intimacy, for how they feel. If you do them early just because you want to have had the experience, it won't be nearly as good and you may regret it. There's nothing wrong with waiting. Many more people do than you'd think from the media and from how people talk sometimes. And anyone who'd judge you for being a virgin isn't the right person for you.
I do get that it's tough feeling like time has just disappeared behind you before you've done the stuff you imagined you would have by this age. But at 20, we're still young. Being a teenager sucks for plenty of people. In our early twenties there's still plenty of time for us to experience firsts and make mistakes and find what we want to do with our lives. Some people don't until much later in life and that's fine too.
How you feel is valid, big birthdays like this are scary. But you're in no way weird for where you are in your life, there's nothing to be ashamed about, and the things you regret contribute to making you wiser and more ready to handle life in the future. Please don't feel alone <3 . You can still have such a great life <30
Most Helpful Guy
A lot of people feel the same about their twenties1