Is it ok for my boyfriend to go out to lunch with a girl I do not know?

[racqz]

there is this girl that came into my boyfriends work and at first was just bout car parts. recently she asked him to go clubbing with her and he had told her he was hanging out with me. she stated she didn't know he had a girlfriend and still invited me to go as well. and that they should have lunch soon. I told him I was uncomfortable with the situation because of what he's done in the past. (cheated and lied) lately things have been great and he's actually proving himself to me. but then she texted him and said they should go out to lunch this coming week and he said yes after he told me he knew I was uncomfortable. we had an argument over this. should I let him go and trust him this time around?

Updates

+1 y

thank you all for your answers. I told him if its innocent then by all means go. I do have to start somewhere to give him a chance to gain his trust back. he basically told me he wasn't going to go because he doesn't want problems to escalate between us.

[Tamikaze]

Hell to the no. She is not just hanging with him for friendship and he certainly isn't thinking just friendship either. Doesn't mean either one is thinking of cheating, but there is an attraction. Guys and girls want to hang with people they are attracted to, not people they are repulsed by. Add that to the fact that he has a past of lying and cheating, and this is just ridiculous.

However, this is not about you "letting" him go or not. This is about whether you should be with him. Face it, you cannot control his actions and getting into heated arguments didn't help either. This is about being with a man who respects you and your needs. He doesn't. Put it this way, if you weigh the benefits of him having a new best buddy who happens to be a woman against the benefits of doing right by you, why is he picking the new best buddy? Hmmmm. Must be because he sees extra benefits in that deal, like FWB.

If he tells you it is no big deal that he goes out with her, ask him, why, if it is no big deal, doesn't he say no? Something to ponder.

[xjustmee]

I can't tell you whether you should trust him again. I had difficulty trusting my ex boyfriend too. All I can say is that a healthy relationship is build on trust. I know it is hard for us to let our man hang out with another girl, especially a flirty one. But we can't always control who our man can or cannot hang out with. It will make the relationship worse and it is tiring to always look out for any slut who is trying to get into his pants. Just let him go, eventually if he likes you enough he will not mess it up again.

[Reeses-pieces777]

guys do not change...one guy I went out with once lied to me about having a girlfriend. I do not see this as seeing solely platonic whatsover between him and this other girl. dumping him after the first incident is the thing I'd do so that I'm not a door mat for this

[blueyaa]

If he is proving himself to you after he has screwed up once, then that shows he is really trying to make himself a better person for you and that he is truly sorry for what he did. You being a little uncomfortable with this particular situation is completely understandable and he should realize that, however, he may see it just as you being jealous or what have you.

I say let him go, give him that 2nd chance, he has proven that he cares for you by coming back and trying to fix himself. If something were to happen between them two, guilt would drive him to tell you something happened, in which case you deserve much better than him.

[Tamikaze]

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. A guy who is trying would never accept a lunch date with a stranger of the opposite sex. He would just say no. I sense a guy here who has a wandering eye and is struggling to stay on track. I have never met a reformed cheater and liar myself but at least he did the right thing in declining the date.

[blueyaa]

Yah, I was under the impression that they might become friends. I certainly enjoy that my girlfriend trusts me enough for me to hang out with my best friend and my other girl friends without her being around all the time. Then again, I haven't cheated or had the urge to cheat, judgment call. Good for him though.

[Jiffy]

I would give him credit for telling you without you asking him but I won't trust him with her without first being introduced first.

[Anonymous]

no, don't trust him. once a cheater, most likely he'll cheat again. this situation proves it. I'm so sorry girl, but I bet you can do waaaay better than this jerk. find someone who appreciates you, and you ONLY. stay strong, keep your dignity, and stand up for yourself.

[rayraywins]

Once a cheater always a cheater. Dump him now, yes it will hurt some, but if you don't he will stomp all over your heart later. A boyfriend that is committed would never go to lunch with some random girl unless he wanted to do something with her.

[marvelis]

if he's cheated and lied to you already... NEXT! honey...GET OUT! see the forest through the trees.

[sweetnsassy23]

NO NO NO!

[Pixiechaser]

no