Is it OK for my boyfriend to hang out with other girls?

[heartbrokengirl]

My boyfriend and I have been together for around a year. Last summer, he and his cousin had hung out with a couple girls at their apartment. He never told me about it. A month later, he mentioned that they had been there and I asked him about it. He said he didn't tell me cause it wasn't important and that they were just friends. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I can't help but feel weird about my boyfriend hanging out with other girls without me. I feel even weirder about the fact that he didn't tell me when it happened and that he didn't think I needed to know. I'm not a crazy jealous girl or maybe I am. I don't know, but I do feel that if the situation were reversed that he would freak out too. I have to admit I am nervous about him hanging out with other girls, especially one on one...I'm not sure if he would let something happen or not. If something did happen he definitely wouldn't tell me unless I got suspicious and dragged it out of him. A part of me almost feels like maybe if he needs to do that, then maybe he is still looking. Is this normal or am I nuts?

So guys and girls, how do you feel about your significant other hanging out with members of the opposite sex? Okay or not okay? I know he can have female friends but really where do you draw the line? Thanks in advance!

[Anonymous]

My opinion: There's nothing wrong with having friends/ acquaintance of the opposite sex as long as it's general.(General Meaning: if you happen to see them in person unexpectedly, having a few general convos, maybe catch up to see how things are going with them &/or you invite your bf/gf to hangout with the friend of the opposite sex once in a while) Once you're in a relationships, I personally believe you give your all to that person. Setting up boundaries when it comes to everyone/anyone who can be a threat to the relationship. One thing is when a guy needs his space/ independency to be with his male buddies (even then gotta be careful with the type of friends he hangs with) but when it comes to hanging out one on one or just hanging out with females that's when you gotta draw the line & has to consider your thoughts. It's not about being jealous. Just don't ever put yourself in a position to be questioned. Once you're in a relationship, you don't have time for other girls / boys unless you and your significant (as one) make time for them. Secrets/ Anything Separate messes up a beautiful relationship! Don't worry about friends , if they're your true friends they'll always be there but it wouldn't even be a loss because you only need 1 great best friend & that should be your bf/gf

[soslin711]

Well if you tell him he can't hangout with other girls, he's not gonna like that you're trying to control him. If you trust him, and have no reason to believe he's cheating on you, then I think it's fine for a boyfriend to hang with other girls as long as it doesn't interfere with his time with you, and I'm not sure I'd like it if it was just him and her alone. He probably didn't tell you because he thought you would get jealous (duh!) and get mad at him. Stupid on his part, but give him the benefit of the doubt this time and make sure you tell him that you won't be mad as long as he tells you! Secrets are never good in a relationship.

[hapa18]

ok. here's what I think. It's fine for your significant other to hang out with people of the opposite sex. My best friend happens to be a guy and one of my boyfriend's best friend is a girl. we're fine with it and if us hanging out with someone of the opposite sex bothers us, then we talk about it. The only reason why I would say in your case, you have a right to be mad, is because he didn't tell you about it. If he had told you about it the day it happened, would you have been upset or no? If yes, then you're jealous. (don't worry, it's ok to be a little jealous. its human nature) If no, then you're one of the cool chicks. ^_^

[JustWondering6]

I would probably feel the same way in your position, but looking at it from my perspective (im a guy who has quite a few friends who are girls) I hang out with my friends often and I don't mention it to my girlfriend unless she does usually, I would NEVER do anything to hurt my girlfriend, so it may just be innocent friendship, or not, it seems like there may not be enough information to tell, P.S he may not have told you in fear that you would have been worried about it although nothing happend

[AlanHB]

If he was hanging out with them before he got with you, you can't expect him to change. If you can't handle it just date a guy with no friends.

[heartbrokengirl]

Actually, its new girls. He definitely didn't know them before we started dating.

[AlanHB]

Do you have any reason to think that he's doing anything with them? A bit weird that he wouldn't mention them at all.

[heartbrokengirl]

He met those particular girls after we started dating.

[heartbrokengirl]

I don't know...My whole concern is why didn't he tell me. I would have preferred to know about it before. I don't like the fact that I found out about it by accident a month later. It almost seems like he was hiding it.

[AlanHB]

It seems very much like he was hiding it. I wonder why?

[heartbrokengirl]

I asked him why he didn't tell me and he said that he didn't know he had to tell me everything about his life. Then he got mad andsarcastic and told me every conversation he had that day. He says he loves me. I know I don't need to know every single thing, but him hanging out with other girls just seems important to me. I'm afraid he's gonna keep hanging out with girls and not telling me. I don't know how many more surprises I can take.

[blah52]

He was hanging out with other girls that weren't you and you got mad, that's jealousy.

[heartbrokengirl]

I'm mad because he didn't tell me and he would be p*ssed too if the situation was reversed.

[blah52]

Looks like your both jealous.