Why do people confuse being shy/social anxiety with being introverted?

[amarahorrorstory]

Of course, you can be both. And it's likely that you are.

I think a lot of people confuse being introverted with being shy. If you're introverted, you're probably comfortable with being quiet or kind of off to yourself, that's your choice due to your personality. A lot of people think that if you're extroverted you can talk to anyone, and you're loud, have no deep thoughts and that just isn't true. Extroverts can be shy too, some extroverts just like to be around people. I'm an ambivert and I enjoy being alone and in public. Sometimes, I just want to go to a small party, and sit there. I like being around people, or just being present in a convo even if I don't talk, because my introverted side might not feel like it right now, and that's okay. My energy drops when I'm alone for too long, so I need to be around friends, but after that, I need to go home and refresh because I'm tired of people.

Introverts don't (or they shouldn't) feel BAD about not liking to talk to people because that's how they're comfortable, but a shy person might wish they were more talkative. Almost all the posts I see, sound more like someone who is socially anxious/shy and isn't content with it and less someone who just prefers to be alone. If that weren't the case, why are they trying to justify being introverted or make it seem like they're the better of the two? Why would you put yourself down if that's just your preference?

I see a lot of cases that seem more like ambiverts who are shy, or even shy extroverts in an introverts disguise.

Just like how some extroverts assume that introverts are rude, or stuck up, introverts assume that extroverts are obnoxious and dense. Why is there so much misunderstanding?

Shyness comes in ALL types of people. Being both introverted and extroverted has it's cons and misconceptions. Everyone is different, so you REALLY can't assume how someone feels in settings. Most people are ambiverts anyway!

[steveguitar]

Well the social people don't know how to group people who are unlike themselves. They see both traits as being negative and almost a dysfunction that you must change.

Once they see one trait it's comes off as not being their understanding of social. Once they know that you aren't as open as they are, you can be shy, timid, introvert, socially inept, whatever they can label you as. They like to judge and sometimes become derogatory.

Also I feel like introverted, though not a new word is something that has become recently acknowledged and accepted. Though the acceptance is still in a negative view, like you have to grow out if it, or change it to become what people want in society

[amarahorrorstory]

To be honest, I see being extroverted as being considered a bad thing too. Maybe because (by stereotype) introverts tend to spend more time alone or at home. There is an abundance of quotes, artwork, etc devoted to making introverts seem better than an extrovert. I don't know if this is an attempt to make introverts feel better. But it's almost like this idea that extroverts don't have deeper thoughts, aren't as creative, and are obnoxious is promoted. Seems to me like someone who isn't content with being introverted, and more like someone who is shy. Otherwise I don't know why someone would feel the need to insult the opposing side because I think there are a lot of misconceptions about them too. That just seems counterproductive to me. Because all people have some form of depth.

[steveguitar]

Thanks for MHO!

[steveguitar]

You are right about your opinion too, I forgot to respond

[0112358]

Most shy people claim they’re introverts. That makes their anxiety issue sound like a personality trait instead and then absolves them from being expected to deal with it.

[amarahorrorstory]

Good point. I think that's the only reason someone would seem bitter over being introverted. If you image search introverted or extroverted it's full of posts about how amazing introverts are but it really just seems like an angle to come at more outgoing people, which I can't comprehend why an introvert would do that. It always sounds like someone who is unhappy with their personality.

[witherwing]

We were just talking about this with @splashofyellow a while back! I think because these days the words introvert and extrovert are thrown around so much and people only see the generalized stereotypes of what either is. I don't think they bother to dig deeper on what the actual meanings of the words are. I hope a lot of people read this so they might start reconsidering what they link with each word. (And stop giving me shit about not liking people. 😂)

[GuysConfuseMeMan]

I'm definitely an introvert, but if I'm spoken to, I can respond no problem. I can also initiate conversations just fine. But I prefer being in my own bubble. People really drain me. Just being around a group of people makes me feel so worn down.

If I'm not by myself, I'm with a friend cooking and watching Black Dynamite or something.

[amarahorrorstory]

see, and it's clear you're just an introvert. you don't have an issue with extroverts or don't seem bitter about being so. I think honest introverts are comfortable being introverted.

[GuysConfuseMeMan]

I used to be really anxious when going to school, store, etc and I never knew why. But as I got older, I realized I was over thinking EVERYTHING.

So yes, I am very comfortable with being an introvert now. My best friend is an extrovert, which is fine, we have different relations with people. She gains leverage by befriending, while I gain leverage by observing. A lot of people mistake me as being lonely, but I'm perfectly content in my lonesomeness.

[amarahorrorstory]

I find that introverts and extroverts get along great. I'm more extroverted than introverted but my friend is a full on extrovert, and she always introduces people, but I keep em around, it's a package deal.

[2tall2handle]

I agree with her. I can’t stand large crowds, but I can have a conversation with someone. Like her I prefer to be on my own. If I am with someone it’s one friend doing something at my place.

[GuysConfuseMeMan]

Yeah, I think many people mistake our nature as being 'shy', when a lot of us just like our space.

[ultimega]

I agree, should of been made into a My Take.
Preferring to keep to yourself is not the same as not being able to express your thoughts.
Like I can easily have a lot of fun and be goofy with my friends or go to a party but then you may not hear from me a couple of days as I need some time alone.

doesn't make you less confident

[amarahorrorstory]

I plan to turn it into a my take, I think I just wanted some opinions first. but thank you for your input!

[ultimega]

Your welcome, I will look out for it when you do :)

[samhradh_leannan]

I think people confuse them because they often go hand in hand and they can result in very similar outcomes. Someone who is shy, but not necessarily introverted, may behave very similarly to someone who is introverted, but not necessarily shy. But you're right, they are not exactly the same thing.

[btbc92]

Society don't like Introverts, it's clear. And some are just flat out ignorant and arrogant because they can't respect differences. Society praise Extroversion and anything that is against that is criminalized. At the same time like another person have said, most shy people say that they aren't comfortable with other people, and rightfully so. Because other people aren't going to care about you or what to be your friend. Most shy people wants friendship and companionship, but their hard to find. Especially when their not genuine people who respect you. The world is not as friendly as we were taught to believe growing up.

[amarahorrorstory]

I've seen a lot of criticism and misconceptions towards extroverts too. I mean, there is this idea thar being extroverted means you are loud, dumb, and reckless. That they don't understand people on a deeper level or don't have deeper thoughts. That creativity comes from introverts. And that isn't true either. If anything, I think people idealize being an ambivert. During finding my photos for this, searching both, was full of artwork and quotes that seemed like encouragement posts for introverts. But what it seemed like more, was peple who weren'r content with being introverts and more like people who are shy. Part o the reason I said that introverts shouldn't feel bad for their personality. A shy person, might not like that about themselves, otherwise, it wouldn't be necessary to criticism extroverts. I don't deny that introverts may be looked at in a negative light more often. But I think this idea that being extroverted means you had it made is false.

[btbc92]

That's the whole point, people shaming other personality types for their own bias. That s what I was saying in my O. P. It's true. And of you get into MBTI more, it's even worse. Everybody have great personalities as that's how we are born, but some have terrible character traits. And these can always change.

[btbc92]

I'm basically an introvert but I'm also an ambivert too. I would not say it's better or not better because at the end of day you have to be comfortable with who you are as a person. And it starts by getting to know yourself and loving yourself for your differences, besides appreciate all the people for their differences. A lot of people sadly regardless of age have not yet grown up to understand this.

[FrenchYen]

Last year, I started thinking I was an introvert because I was starting having social anxiety. But I realised me time doesn't feel that good. Avoiding any kind of social interraction just made me feel more insecure and I fell into depression. Now I think that I am just a shy ambivert but I wish I had learned the lesson in another way lol

[Lubia]

For a long time I thought I was shy until I realized that being alone wasn't actually a problem for me. I never struggle to make friends with people I don't know but I also definitely need my time alone. That's what it is to be an introvert ^^

[LordChaoticX]

I am just naturally quite but if you talk too me I can hold my own conversation and get the person to enjoy talking with me till they leave. Then I never hear from them again

[sbj78]

I'm an ambivert but more inclined towards my introvert nature so I enjoy being alone more than being in public. Shyness is totally different with whether the person is introvert or extrovert. Both type of person can be shy.

[teaforbooks]

I used to confuse it too until I met a true introvert. It was lack of knowledge.

[MemeSupreme]

Some people don't understand why social anxiety is, so they just claim it's that.

[Ndifreke]

They probably don't know the difference

[amarahorrorstory]

I honestly think it's people who ARE shy but they just assume it's BECAUSE they're introverted.

[Blonde401]

This should have been a take. Good points!

[amarahorrorstory]

Yeah, I might make one. I figured I'd ask as a question because I really didn't know how to construct it.

[Blonde401]

It’s cool :)

[Good_Behavior]

Excellent... Question?

[amarahorrorstory]

See, I know this would have made a better take but I didn't have an answer, so it must be a question.

[Good_Behavior]

No one knows the difference so they assume it is a package deal.

[amarahorrorstory]

Good point, you usually can't tell on the outside without knowing how someone responds to things.

[Good_Behavior]

Not only that but shyness itself isn't a well understood clinical condition.

[clampfan101]

I’m a very shy and quiet ambivert.

[Sha84]

because similar behavior

[MeGo99]

I'm here for the answer

[lilmissumshine]

Bc that's what most introverts are

[Hackerjhg]

Lack of education

[BonnieBunny]

I'm all of these

[amarahorrorstory]

What do you mean? You're an shy ambivert?

[BonnieBunny]

No im a shy, socially anxious introvert

[Confidenceoverload]

i am both