Is this considered as rape?

[Anonymous]

Is forced oral sex considered rape? The victim and the accused are not dating, but they just met at a bar. The victim was drunk but still said no many times.

[jp612612]

I would say that that's complicated. Whatever happened, it's definitely wrong but from a legal standpoint, it would probably be difficult. Shortly after college, my friend Anita was having a bachelorette celebration for a friend and they went to one of those male strip club/dance thingies. She was eyeing one of the dancers and he motioned her to follow him. She excitedly followed him into a bathroom stall where he pulled down his pants, grabbed her head, and forced himself down her throat. The whole thing happened in like a minute and afterwards, she was SUPER upset. She left the bathroom and told her friends that she wanted to leave immediately but they all looked at her asking "Why? We're having a great time!" She was really upset that none of them would leave with her and they all wanted to stay etc.

I admit, I feel like sort of a dick to say this but at the time she told me the story, I was thinking "What did you think was going to happen when you followed him into the bathroom? That you two were going to discuss monetary policy and the effects of a negative income tax?" Anyway, she was really, really traumatized by the whole thing and what the guy clearly did to her was wrong, but at the same time, I could tell that legally, there's no way she could ever get any traction against this guy. You didn't given any details so I don't know your exact story, but I'm guessing that your story also has some of the complexities and ambiguities that Anita's story had.

[Anonymous]

Was she held down to stop her from escaping? Why didn't she clench her teeth and chew off the c*ck of the perpetrator? I'm sorry I just don't believe in all these "forced sex stories", because if a woman REALLY doesn't want it, she can fight against it.

[Asker]

Maybe she isn't as horrible as her attacker? She didn't bite him even though she felt that every single piece of her soul was bitten and spit by her attacker.

[Zsazsabear]

What absolute bullshit!
There are supstantial differences in the strength of a female and a male, plus if she's inebriated make that more so

[Asker]

@Zsazsabear It's not bullshit, believe me. As long as you haven't lived the situation you can't call it bullshit. I always thought that women have to fight back, maybe bite or even section... Until I lived it. I hope that you will NEVER understand that feeling because I don't wish it to my worst enemies. Please don't jump up to conclusions, it can't really hurt others.

[Zsazsabear]

Asker... no I absolutely agree with you, and I have been in the situation unfortunately
I was calling bullshit to the above post that said they don't believe all over these sex attack stories, that if a woman didn't want it shed fight him off... that's what I was replying to
My deepest deepest apologies if you for one moment thought I was calling the original post bs... no way
And I'm so sorry you had that awful experience x I hope you've healed somehow

[Asker]

@Zsazsabear Hello! So Sorry I didn't see it was two different people. It was horrible and thank you for your support. I really appreciate that.

[Zsazsabear]

Aw I can see how that could happen, sorry again x
you mind yourself and don't let trolls like above upset you x

[Zsazsabear]

Absolutely rape, no question about it, regardless of What the relation status was, or how they met, No means No
No technicalities come into it, you say no and someone forces themselves upon you, it's non consensual (oral) penetration, it's Rape no exception
I'm so sorry if this has happened to you or someone you know, please go get the help that's needed, and report the crime, or urge your friend to do it.

[ZiZi_Bell]

Yes that is rape.
If I recall, Bill Cosby only fingered the women he drugged and he still got charged with rape.

[Astoriana]

Depending on the jurisdiction, it could be rape or sexual assault. But yes. It’s definitely wrong.

[MlleCake]

It may not meet the legal definition of rape, but it is a sexual assault, and most likely illegal.

[markscott]

I don't know if it is technically rape, but it is sodomy. If she said no, then it's no. However, you give no details, such as how drunk was she, could she have changed her name, was he holding her there, or blocking her exit, etc.

[Asker]

He wasn't blocking her exit but she said no many times.

[markscott]

She can say no as many times as she likes, but is she doesn't move away, and he doesn't fore her in any way, then her actions speak louder than her words. Did he do anything to make her feel like she had to, or did he put her head and mouth down on him, rather than she doing so voluntarily? Also, was she too drunk, to know what she was doing, and to give consent?

[Asker]

He definitely forced himself on her. She moved, she tried to push him away but she didn't have any force after drinking. However she still thought it was wrong and kept telling him NO.

[markscott]

Then she was raped. If she said no, tried to push him away, and he used force on her, then it's clearly rape.

[GreedyGiver651]

Yes, any unwanted sexual contact is sexual assault. The fact they said no multiple times and was intoxicated makes it a definite yes.

[madhatters4]

depends where you are it could be rape or sexual assault

[madhatters4]

regardless it's illegal

[N192K001]

What's your jurisdiction?

In many, forced oral penetration constitutes considered rape, but the exact definition varies.

[N192K001]

Correction: "… but the exact definition of 'rape' & 'sexual assault' and what constitutes as indicators that the attempted acts are unauthorized all vary from country to country. Hence, knowing your would be necessary to verify the specifics with reasonable accuracy."

[Asker]

It happened in Orlando, Florida. Not sure about the laws there however.

[N192K001]

Yes, that's rape.
statelaws.findlaw.com/.../...ual-battery-laws.html

Report him. When did this occur? Reports before 72hr.'s of the event with the victim in the same state (no bath and/or change of clothes) with all evidence intact has the best chances of success.

[Asker]

It happened in September unfortunately, I'm not sure we can help the victim anymore :(

[N192K001]

Not necessarily.
statelaws.findlaw.com/.../...limitations-laws.html

Even if the victim cannot make charges, she can report him, so that it's on file, the police can use the info to charge him strengthen their case against him for past rapes (if any) & bring him behind bars and/or monitor him (which may prevent it happening to someone else ad get him in ail for attempted rape).

[N192K001]

Also, with their statistics and collective experiences, the police should be able to give the victim more/better information on coping/recovering, like proven tips, support groups with the best success rates, etc.

[Asker]

thank you so much for your help, it means a lot.

[N192K001]

You're welcome! I wish you and the victim the best!

[IntuitiveMuffin]

Ya but how did she say no.

[abc3643]

Yes it is.

[Revolver_]

No..