I don’t know if I should keep my baby or not?

[Anonymous]

I am 22 years old. I am extremely skeptical and leaning towards taking an abortion pill. However I can’t help but to think, I made this child. The father doesn’t want me to get rid of the child. But he is not the one carrying the baby. I just need some advice on what to do, how to make a decision

[TheSpartan]

Think about it this way: if you kill this child, that’s a decision you’ll never be able to take back. That’s an entire childhood, marriage, and family that will be wiped from history; it’s an entire life of possibilities, laughs, goals, love, and affection permanently silenced. You’ll never get to see him or her grow, never get to know them, never get to see grandchildren, never get to celebrate birthdays and Christmases with your child as they grow older. All that’s left is a phantom.

Is that what you want? Do you really want to end an entire future? What if you make this decision, but then you regret it for the rest of your life? There’s no going back from death; once the baby growing inside you is dead, they’re dead forever. Do you want grow old thinking about what might’ve been? Do you want to be on your death bed one day in tears, looking longingly for your precious child that never was, the hand holding yours that is forever gone?

Think about it. You know what the right decision is.

[BlueCoyote]

Take a sheet of paper. Draw a line down the middle (vertically). Write a big plus-sign on the left side and a big minus-sign on the right side. Then proceed to list all the pros and cons of keeping it.

If you feel okay to talk about it on here, you may also tell me/us about your thoughts. What hopes and worries you have. I mean, there must be reasons for why you are unsure.

[Asker]

I am unsure because I am so young. My “husband” I call him that because he practically is. We live together, have for a while has 4 kids from his previous marriage. I am these kids second mother, and while yes we’ve talked about adding another to our family I just didn’t expect nor want this right now. We own a good business together and have so much on our plates already. The kids that stay the weekends with us might feel weird or sad because the baby would stay with us all of the time and not leave. Again I am just so young, I never imagined having a child at only 22

[BlueCoyote]

I see. That does indeed sound like a complicated situation. Having a baby would probably be very difficult if you have a business on the side. You would probably have to quit work for at least a year and your partner would have to continue managing the business by himself.

Another issue is of course your relationship with this man. Now, I don't want to be judgy here but you seem to be in a completely different stage of your life than him. Seeing from the fact that he's got already 4 children, I assume he's at least 20-25 years older than you. For me, this raises the question of whether you will really want to stay with this man for the rest of your life. I mean, you might say yes now (and maybe it will be like that) but you're also very young. I assume you haven't experienced so much yet. Already being a mother and a housewife at age 22 is tough. There might come a time when you feel frustrated and regret not having lived your youth more... traveling, going to uni, relationships etc.

[BlueCoyote]

Having said all of this, are there any good reasons in your opinion for keeping the baby?

[Asker]

He’s 8 years older, and I mean I was and am on track to have a life with this man. We own a house together the business and I mean we’re very intertwined and well building our lives together. Just I don't know this is something we talked about for our future maybe 3-5 years from now but not at the moment. It’s just a big shock I guess. It’s a huge responsibility and a whole other venture to our already busy and hectic life. I guess just so unsure because in all reality it doesn’t fit in our lives right now. What the hell are we going to do with a newborn baby lol. You know I understand the whole you make your bed you lie in it, but also there’s an option not to. Could just be also because today’s the day I found out. I just never wanted to be that young mother that had her child at such an early age.

[BlueCoyote]

I completely get that. It's an extremely tough decision to make. I'm not the kind of person who would judge you either way. Personally, I would probably lean more toward an abortion. But then of course there's always this feeling of "what if it would've worked out? What if I keep it and I will be thinking in the future 'thank god I didn't do the abortion'?" It's such a difficult call.

Keeping the baby will without a doubt change your life forever. And if you go through with it (which would certainly be admirable), you must be sure that you're up to the challenge. Not just physically and financially but also emotionally.
You also need to think about very practical issues. For example one of the dangers of becoming a mother at such a young age is that your making yourself completely dependent on your partner. That may work out for now but of course we don't know what things will be like in your 40s. So it's important to have a back-up plan. Education, work experience.. that kinda stuff.

[BlueCoyote]

Either way, I wish you all the best to make the right decision!

[I_smell_Ducky]

It's never an easy decision to make. And by the time it comes to making it there is no "right choice" left. I personally, wouldn't keep it. I am pretty sure I would be a horrible mother, and having a kid would destroy my plans for the future. But that's me. I think you should do whatever you think will bring less regret. Kids make shit complected, and if you don't want one then don't have one.

[Anonymous]

Don't do abortion you will end a life someone who can be your child and you will have to live with that thought for the rest of your life. And it can hurt you and even kill you. You can always adopt the baby. Or you can let your husband take care of it. It seams like he is really supporting

[pppppkk]

i think you should keep your baby. you might regret it later and he/she will be your most loved thing in the entire world. also, some women can’t have children and if after the baby is born and you still don’t want to keep him/her, you should sign the baby up for adoption

[Anonymous]

keep the baby. have some sense of integrity and keep it. you did this. now make the most of your situation. raise that child to be great. having a kid will only ruin your life IF YOU LET IT. it’s totally possible to have a kid and fulfill your desires. i hope you keep it.

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck

[DublinRollerGirl]

This is one decision you have to make yourself as no one here is in your position. My only question is if you didn't want a baby why did you not take precautions?

[ChrisTruthseeker]

I hope you keep it.
I hope you give your child a chance at life and the father a chance to love his child.
Some women love being pregnant, it's a natural part of life.
I hope you get to experience being a loving parent.
It's hard, but it's worth it.
It's a gift.

[sapphire3506]

that's the consequence of having unprotected sex. You should keep the baby. You won't regretting having him/her after you make a connection. You have 9 months to prepare. Get ready lol

[jenifier_1589]

i think you should keep the baby , after the long months looking at your baby is the most wonderful thing ever.

i just had a baby on Thursday night and so far i think im in love with him , he is so cute

[Drooogie4]

It's hard to say. I personally would take it. But I also have zero interest in ever having kids period.

Do you potentially want kids? How are you financially? How's your health?

[AngelLily]

Did you take the pill yet if not i can send you something that can really help you privety.

[MarilynMansonsSlvt]

Are you financially able to support it?
xx
~ Mrs Manson

[Anonymous]

What are your main concerns that make you doubt having it?

[Anonymous]

If you don't want the baby, give it up for adoption when you come to full term. :)

[uraslave]

give it up for adoption

[DaddySir]

Don't kill your baby.

[Danielleo]

not my problem

[Danielleo]

you should change your age aswell