Do I keep the baby, the dad won’t be involved and financially it will be a struggle?

[Anonymous]

In October I lost a baby at 12 weeks and it broke me. During grief my then partner left me and I was in a bad place mentally and physically. My body was still suffering from the miscarriage 4-6 months later. Irregular bleeding, constant cramps and cysts. I slept (once may I add) with a coworker and fell pregnant, he was on a break from his girlfriend and now they’re trying to make it work again so he’s said he will not be part of their life.
my decision is now to decide to keep the baby and be a single mum after everything I’ve been through in the last 10 months, I have my own home and good job but I have got debt and struggle to survive financially at the moment, a baby will be able to be looked after but not a good quality of life. They will also be brought into the world with no father. I’m unsure on if I should get an abortion once because I don’t usually believe in it. But the circumstances will affect their quality of life and if I have to go part time to look after my child I could lose my home. I’d love nothing more to be a mum and would be a good one but I’m not sure I can make it work at the minute.

[JaneDoe08]

You say you have the ability to care for the child, but not enough to give it 'a good quality of life'? If it is loved, clothed and fed, what more could you hope for?

Besides, and I don't intend this to sound mean, but you have to take into account your age. Coupled with your bad experience last time, you may not have the opportunity to have kids of your own going forward. You can gamble that you find 'the one' in the next few years, but the odds are frankly slim.

Make the best of a bad situation, be a good mother ❤

[Anonymous]

Not trying to sound ageist but as a woman who’s also in my 30s, I think after all these years dealing with men, you’d at least consider pregnancy being a possibility before sleeping with someone. My question is if this thought already crossed your mind, was it dependent on two partners? I don't know if I’d ever tell a woman who is ready to be a mom that she shouldn’t have a baby out of fear for financial troubles, but ultimately it’s your choice.

[Asker]

I did. But after the last pregnancy and then the complications I was told it was slim chances. No I’ve always known it will be one parent (me). I still work closely with this guy and the situation cannot be addressed at work as company policy doesn’t allow staff to be in close relationships. (I know it’s not a relationship) but I know he’ll turn a blind eye to me and the baby. For selfish reasons also, I cannot give the child the life they deserve I live pay check to pay check already and I am in debt after a breakdown. I’m also very conscious of what other people will say being a single mum. I know I shouldn’t be but I am and I can’t get out of the middle of this situation.

[Sparkie460]

There are people that will tell you that you should do this or you should do that. In the end, you have to do what is best for you and the baby. I feel bad that you are in this situation. It's not going to be an easy choice for you to make. I think you already know what you are going to do. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose

[Asker]

Thank you for your support. I suppose I have pros and cons to the situation. I am not sure what is best to do.

[Sparkie460]

If you are against abortion have you thought about adoption.

[LiamJHayden]

"so he’s said he will not be part of their life."

He will be if you force the issue, even if it is only the 18 years of child support he will be obligated to pay.