Why do people tend to force their opinions on you? Or like know it "better"? How do you deal with them?

Question

The last days I have noticed that my family and one friend, they can't seem to except my No for an answer.

Like simple decisions about MY apartment are somehow their business... for example, one tells me "You need a microwave" and I thanked her and said No, not now.. she literally argued with me for like 5 mins, why I do need one.

Or my aunt and mom don't like the place where I wanna put my sofa... this ended with them calling me stupid for not trusting their well experienced opinion.

I'm literally constantly arguing and having fights with them (and this already since years, but just noticed it even more)
I'm so exhausted and started to just say mhmm sure.

Raidernation01 · Accepted Answer

Every person I've ever heard that complained about someone forcing their opinions or beliefs as always had a horrible habit of doing the same thing themselves. They seem to hate other people forcing their opinions on them because they have already decided what they want their opinion to be and lots of us suffer from cognitive dissonance and it's hard to hear that what we believe is not true. When they hear an opinion that's outside the box that differs from their own day start calling people names and react very immaturely. So I think the real question here is why are we selling tolerance of other people's opinions and beliefs. No one's holding a gun to your head saying listen to me tell you about liberalism, or listen to me tell you about Jesus.

Jaximus-Lion · Accepted Answer

Welcome to my club dear. We will always be young and stupid in our parents eyes, and some friends 😝. Do your thing, ignore them and all that is normal because no one yas taught them to respect other people's choices in life, pretty normal

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

I feel you. I've had so many people try to tell me im wrong about simple opinion-based things. I want someone mature enough to say “we’ll agree to disagree.” But instead i get people who say “you’re wrong get over it!” Like wow my opinion of something as simple as a movie makes me wrong? I just dont understand people wanting to argue about opinions rather than facts. But its okay, keep harassing me and get that block button. That goes for people online and in person. The in person people get ignored when they knock at my door and stare at me through the blinds to open up and i just continue watching tv and turn it up louder to drown them out

Dana223 · Accepted Answer

I say, as long you're not asking to borrow their microwave or sofa, not spending their money, and you're not blocking or influencing them with your household decisions, it's none of their business.

Why is this happening? Maybe they're just bored and have no better things to worry about. I'd just skip my visits or keep em short if this is getting annoying.

jshm2 · Answer

You're an influencer... but can't influence your own family? There is a joke in there somewhere!

Anyway, seriously. You need to learn that there is a way and means to talk, it's not all about just spitting out the right words. Nor just about shouting louder and voicing opinions. You should listen to them and take on board what they have to say, it might be right, but then either dissect it, and explain why it was wrong, or make a different case based on what they have said.

You seem like the sort who would say "Let me be as wrong as I am!"

Adam1978 · Answer

A microwave is good to have and it helps guests too. The couch is just an opinion. You need to balance what feedback you take, because it will influence how often you get these people as guests in your home. Some times, no isn't enough as an answer, also give the reason you prefer your solution over theirs.

qwert1234 · Answer

After a few exchanges, I just usually say "well, let's just agree to disagree". I will not allow them to force their opinion on me, and I won't force my decision on them.

I really really dislike most arguments. I got other things to do.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

My family does this and dad this for my first apartment as well. When I finally get angry they get hurt feelings, "we were just trying to help. You should have just said no from the start." I say no 10 times without them listening. So I feel for you. As for a solution I just nip it in the bud as soon as they start, hurt feelings be damned.

Luopio27 · Answer

I know how you feeö because I was 18 when I was free to buy my own clothes from shops I wanted. Parents who choose the clothing and room style for their sons and daughters in adulthood just can't, or dont want to let go of the parent dependency or whatever its called.

All I can say is, you did well listening to their opinion and kindly refused to take their style. The fault is theirs, not yours.

dustybiker · Answer

People can try, but they have to have your permission to succeed.
Don’t argue. Just thank them for their advice, and you’ll think about it and get one if you decide to (in regards to microwave example)

MelonSoda · Answer

Totally agree. Got into an argument with some crazy Christian dude trying to force the word of God down my throat. Like damn, dude. Yeah, I believe he exists but stop forcing your crazy bs down my throat. Tell 'em to fuck off. You do what you want.

Prof_Don · Answer

Some people are very VERY entrenched in their ideas as being best for human society overall.

Which can be overbearing to deal with, but these particular types of people mentioned above want to better the world overall.

humpbackjack · Answer

I’m a pretty dominant person so I don’t usually have this problem but I would just ignore them and if they kept on just tell them I’ve got it under control if that didn’t work I just tell them to mind their own business

hzahil · Answer

When I get putted in your position I ask a lot of Questions.
Like in your case in buying a house when they say this is better I say but what if the neighbours are bad he justifies than I say what of the supermarket is far he or she than tries to justify than I'll what if I don't like after a while than he or she justifies you keep throwing at them finally they will say ok its your choice hahaha work every time..

FreyaRed · Answer

It's usually their power game attempt to control you. You let them talk whatever they want and you don't reply, oppose or acknowledge their opinions. You just do what you want.

boxxie2002 · Answer

I think Covid and lockdowns have made it worse and enhanced the unwanted opinions.

It's hard, but some occasions roll with it and then when they leave you can put things how you think they should be...

The microwave one is annoying 😆

Moose304 · Answer

I leave! Or they leave! That's disrespect I WILL NOT put up with, PERIOD! I will warn the person to stop. Once warned what happens later is on that person.

Anonymous · Answer

By not "feeding" into it. Let them have their say, and leave it at that. Don't argue or try convincing them otherwise. You have your opinion, they have theirs. But some people "have to" be right and will argue to the death! lol

humanearth · Answer

Its human nature. Humans have this built in need to control everything and everyone. We has humans are the cockroaches of the planet

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

I really can't stand the same thing. Dont lose track of who you are.

sheikalana · Answer

I can't stand and I ignore them. They're just trying to prove their point but no one not even my parents know what's best for me except me.

Honestguyopen · Answer

Honestly I have been treated that way most of my life. I learn to stand up for what I truly know to be right. If I am not 100 percent sure I will consider others opinions.

Deserter · Answer

As I get older I have so much less tolerance for bs, I straight up tell them to cut it out or I'm done talking to them

Guardian45 · Answer

That's the reason why you moved out. Now you can hang up the phone, close the door or ask them to leave!

jahaims · Answer

I just explain my reasoning. If they are too stupid to understand I just tell them that and move on.

JohnK123 · Answer

People with facts do know better than those without facts

noohair · Answer

Opinions are like assho! es. Everyone has one. Don't argue. It is a waste of energy.

Tabasco25 · Answer

Silence has more power then responding in my opinion

blueazure · Answer

Just ignore them. Or say yeah but not doing it like what they say.

spartan55 · Answer

Don't engage them then, easy.

Babygirl_S · Answer

I deal with them by keeping my opinions intact ☺️

emperor90 · Answer

Cause they think they no better

bgreek · Answer

Does slapping or breaking their nose count

yucel_eden · Answer

They have insecurities

OddBeMe · Answer

White people problems.

PeterSmith1983 · Answer

Ignore

LegendaryIcon · Answer

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