Would you say something to someone who assaulted you if you ran into them in public?

[JustinTheGreat]

The other day when I was at the market, I saw the dude that sexually assaulted me when I was 15. It was the first time I saw him since it happened almost 10 years ago.

Part of me wanted to go up to him and tell him that I hope he gets hit by a bus, but why bother lol
So I just turned the other direction and hoped he didn’t recognize me
i thought I was over what happened but when I saw him right in front of me again, I had so many emotions. I was sad, I was angry, and I couldn’t even finish my grocery shopping cause I was so distracted. He made me forget to buy ketchup 😡

[Blackcosmo]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Same here I'd probably just turn away and hope they didn't recognize me but I'd want to say something to them. It's honestly kind of scary that he was just a random person in the store many people have passed by or even talked to and he actually sexually assaulted someone. Like "anyone" around you could really be evil and we just don't know it.

[JustinTheGreat]

Thank you. I think about that all the time, it’s so weird to think you could standing next to a serial killer for all you know…🥴

[Blackcosmo]

So true.

[FictionalCharacter]

This has happened to me too. Oof years ago when I was 18/19 years old. I saw this fat, black, dyke girl who always bullied me in middle school. She stole my money in pe gym, she tried stealing my shoes, and she pushed me down the stairs during class recession.

Either way, I was with my family at Walmart. We were shopping 🛒 in different directions. My dad told me to go get something in a different aisle. As I was walking to the aisle, I see my school bully with a couple of people. That I immediately turned around before she saw me. And my older sister caught up with me and questioned me why I ran off.

I told her what happened. Then she got upset with me and started lecturing me and said “This is life. You’re going to let this girl hold you back in life cause of what she did to you years ago?”

[hypojoe]

I tell you what, I had a long story typed out but I deleted it. I just want to say it takes a bigger man to do nothing and let life take care of that fool. I was not sexualy assulted but recently thought I was being poisoned at my lasf residence and i set a camera up and caught him in the act let me tell you I could have just beat that fucker to death but I know that is what he wanted because he carried a wepon this was a retired cop that was doing this my step dad finally im free away from him and letting life take his ass apart slowly and he will die alone

[Wsx2wsx2ws]

Researching this before I bothered to answer I am grieved by the fact that the statues of limitations for sexual assault is 2 years. WTF!!!
However if he was not a minor and you where that drastically increases the limitations. So research that and see if the state you live in will still allow you to file charges.
People like that very likely will continue to do what they did.

[JustinTheGreat]

He was a 19 or 20 when it happened, I’m not sure what the limitations would be for that but tbh I wouldn’t bother trying to press charges at this point. I have no proof that it happened, and even victims who have mountains of evidence rarely get the justice they deserve anyways

[Wsx2wsx2ws]

Well if you feel like it check out this sight for age differences in your area at the time of the incident.

www.legalmatch.com/.../...-the-age-of-consent.html
And since it wasn't consentual it would be flat out rape.

You are correct that justice is rare in this current world. And our minds where not created to have a place to set such things. So like a big beach ball in the kitchen, it is in the way and knocking things over. Plus the idea of being a victim is a big sticky label over the tuxedo of who we really are screws up the whole suite. ONLY IF we let it, and believe all that any one incident in our life can encompass the entirety.
But in reality we are tough and can face any situation if we can learn from it and use it to plow through and help others that are facing such things.
I am a bible reader and one of the most inspirational and helpful people I read about that got me though so much is - David. That man suffered a lot and it never altered his core. He stuck to his principles regardless of any one or any situation. But, no one is perfect. He himself did bad. For example he raped a woman and then murdered her husband. He was callled to account for it. He realized what he did, did not hide it, was deeply grieved, and repented. He was forgiven by God and the woman, who became his wife - Bathsheba. Their son was named Salomon.
So with this in mind the road that sounds right for you is forgiveness. And that is a good road, a better road. And a road you have control over. It will allow you to deflate that beach ball and wear that tuxedo with style.

[Sonorous]

Well, I wouldn't say words. But my disinterest in them would be very telling.

[Graci_e]

A man in the shops filmed up my skirt about a year ago. My older sister pulled me right over to my mum straight away, it was obvious to the guy that we knew. So he kinda lingered around and followed us.

He walked up next to us and stood close to us and I was looking at him with tears streaming down my face. So in a way I guess I told him exactly how I felt.

He had 400 underage girls in his phone so he’s now in jail.

I’m sorry that happened to you. It fricking sucks. I hope you’re doing better now. I just started wearing skirts and dresses again, but still not as often as I used to.

[notmissmolly]

I think you handled it perfectly, especially it having been the first time you saw them since the assault. Healing is a deeply personal thing. It’s not linear and it looks different for each person. As an assault survivor myself, I totally understand the slew of emotions you were hit with. They’re all valid - including wishing them to get hit by a bus. Process it, take your time, and (not saying you do) don’t feel badly for feeling or not feeling certain things. Most importantly, go back and get your damn ketchup! 😉

[JustinTheGreat]

Trust me, I definitely got my ketchup haha 😅
But thank you for the kind words

[txflwr]

I think most people would say that they would say something BUT in actuality would handle it the same way you did.
I believe that if youve been assaulted the best thing to do is not talk shit or confront this person in a negative way but to truly forgive the person. NOW, Forgiveness is NOT for the one that assaulted you but for yourself & yr own sanity.
If a person's in a healthy place maybe going up to said person & letting them know you forgive them might help them... But in this unjust world it's like; said person may have assaulted you but you go up to them angrily or something & then you get in trouble with the law.
Know what I mean?

[JohnK123]

Perfect said

[Lyndsielee666]

I saw my ex at a party a year or so after he did what he did and almost got my ass beat by him again for saying something. Learned my lesson real quick.

[JustinTheGreat]

Wow I’m sorry to hear that

[jahaims]

Your lesson should of been get the authorities involved. Him using violence to silence you just allows him to abuse other people in the same manner.

[Lyndsielee666]

@jahaims they were involved after he raped me and nothing happened.

[jahaims]

Sorry to hear that. That is beyond fucked.

[Aerissa_Jade]

If it was my rapist, he would see me and try to ask forgiveness as he has been doing for awhile. I'd call 911 and have him arrested for violating the no contact order for his victims... while telling everyone around here he was a rapist. He has to stay so far away from me.

[Fuentes]

So the judge grantee a no contact order but they didn't put him away? If not thats fucked

[Aerissa_Jade]

@Fuentes He got 5 years in Juvenile lockup, but a lifetime of no contact.

[Fuentes]

5 years is not enough they need to switch the laws, they gove 10 years for ontwmt to sale heavy drugs but 5 years for creeps hella fucked up

[Aerissa_Jade]

@Fuentes I agree

[Fuentes]

Intent*

[FunkyMonkee]

You should've walked up behind him and given him a swift kick in the nuts!! I would've if that was the guy that molested me when I was 14!! What's he gonna do, call the cops? They show up, you tell them of his abuse and they start looking into his past!

[TheoPfeifle]

I like a peaceful life. If they paid their legal consequences, no need to stir unnecessary drama. Indifference hurts their ego more than hate, anyway. Negative attention is still attention... And you're showing them that they still bother you. Indifference is the real way to "win".

[TheoPfeifle]

Also... Seems like you found a trigger you might want to work on. Could be PTSD... Or something else... Therapy can't hurt (that is, if you're not already doing that... If so, kudos!) (Speaking from experience.)

[Sparkie460]

You handled it the way a mature man should. I can imagine how you felt and what went through your mind. I'm sure I would have felt the same way. Karma will take care of him sooner or later. I'm sorry you forgot to buy ketchup. I have a new bottle that I'd give you. Lol

[RobT312]

I want to say I’d attack him physically and verbally... however If I was in your shoes, I think I would have had similar reaction. I think I would freak out and freeze. I’d literally freeze like a deer in headlights... wouldn’t know what to do

[Rebecka33]

I've had several people several including men also have done this and no I don't say anything even though I wish I could bit then I don't want to do anything I would regret like punching them in the face.

[Anonymous]

no, probably not. That chapter in my life is closed and there's no need to open it back up. However, if I was driving and saw them on the side of the road with a flat tire I would stop to help. I'm just a good person like that. To error is human, but forgiveness is divine.

[Sixgunsound]

Sorry you had to go through that. It must have been a strong reaction if it made you forget ketchup! Beating or killing him won’t make it go away, but living well remains the best revenge.

[Carina0]

I'm so sorry to hear that. No one should deal with this kinda situation but as much as I hate I guess I would've done the same thing. Wouldn't say anything

[Agape93]

No. I'll honestly likely shoot him if he gets anywhere near me. Otherwise I'll find a way to get him arrested.

[Fuentes]

If that happen to me i would stalk him and figure out times and dates of what they do and murk them on a way it looks like a accident lol glad i never dealt with weirdos like that growing up caise i'd kill.

[HeartFullOfGlue]

I want to say I'd punch him if I ever saw him again just to make him feel some form of pain for the suffering he put me through. But I'd most likely just freeze up and start crying like I normally do when I think of him.

[JohnK123]

Well kinda random he popped up 10 years later at the store…. Prob a store u and him have been going to for a long time and only then u saw him? But don’t say anything to ur abusers people

[JustinTheGreat]

I was confused when I saw him too. I’ve been going to the same store for like 4 years and never saw him. I’m nervous that he might of moved into the area and I’ll see him more but I hope not

[SaartjieJane]

Nope but if they came near me I’d deck them for my past self

[MCheetah]

Yeah, I would. I'd remind him of who I was.
Sorry that happened to you.