Guys, do you like my new friend?

[Gummy_Cluster]

I met her in the park. She's a cute blonde chick with a nice pussy. I offered to take her to Hooters for lunch, but she said their food sucks. I thought that was kind of rude of her. So I just went with my gerbil. What does it mean?

[SnowedIn]

Gummy, your friend's friend is kinda cute, I'm not gonna lie.

The friend is, however, kind of hairy. No judgement, just a preference. Hope I don't get reported. Like I did the time I used the word "sex" in an opinion. True story.

I do think it's disappointing that your friend didn't appreciate your offer to go to lunch. Like, the place doesn't matter. It's the offer that counts. Like, in our town there is a very swank strip club not far from the nicest restaurant. One day, I was taking the pastor of my church out to lunch. He asked where we were going as he buckled his seat belt. I told him "Translucent Luna" -- the name of the strip club. He was, as always, gracious and said he'd heard great things about the appetizers. I told him I was only kidding and, instead, we had burgers a local place. But he was grateful regardless of destination.

Speaking of grateful, I noticed a poor woman needed help with a profile. She said no dates in over a year. She thought it might be the tube top but I astutely noticed that it was her fixation on her house plants. I told her to rewrite that section to read, "... and seeking someone with a talented green thumb to help me relentlessly trim bush." Took her so long to reply to me with thanks owing the flood of date requests.

Did the gerbil enjoy lunch?

[Gummy_Cluster]

My gerbil ate one chicken wing and only drank half of his beer. He was busy flirting the the Hooter girls.

As for the profile writing... grasshopper... I think you got this.

[SnowedIn]

That's a lot of chicken for one gerbil. 🤔

[Gummy_Cluster]

Nah, he was just being "thirsty." You'll love this. I let the algorithms or AI or whatever the fuck decide where they want to post my questions. I just go with it. The geniuses just told me I posted this question in the wrong category, even though they chose the category! I can't believe how inept they are on this site. You were in the Navy, imagine if GAG ran the show...

Admiral: Mr. Snow load the photon torpedoes and lock onto that ship.
Mr. Snow: But sir...
Admiral: Don't "but sir me."
Mr. Snow: But that's one of our ships, and your wife's on it.
Admiral: What's your point?

[SnowedIn]

Thank you for MHO!

[Gummy_Cluster]

Thanks for earning it.

[exitseven]

My cat would have had Tweety bird for lunch.

[Gummy_Cluster]

That's just terrible X-7. Your cat is racist against Tweety birds?

[exitseven]

No he is like that with all birds. He once brought home a pigeon.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[Gummy_Cluster]

Thanks for earning it.

[exitseven]

😊😊😊😊😊

[lightbulb27]

In the end, you went with your gerbil to Hooters for lunch?

Maybe you are an Owl!

Damn, that was complex. Or maybe you are Japanese and you had too much Sake?

[Gummy_Cluster]

My gerbil is a very good listener! When I tell her about my day, she's all ears.

[Surely]

What’s not to like about a young chick with a hairy pussy?

[Gummy_Cluster]

What if they want to play while you're watching the super bowl?

[SnowedIn]

@gummy_cluster... One hand for the beer, remote, and popcorn, and one hand to keep the chick and her pussy happy.

[Gummy_Cluster]

@SnowedIn