Guys, I don't have a law degree, but I've watched every episode of Law & Order. Can I sue the fork company for making me fat?

[MuskratLove]

Why can't they just make tiny little forks?

If they made tiny little forks, I could fit into one of those micro bikinis and go to the beach.

But with these big forks, I have to order my custom swimsuits online from a company that makes military tents and lawn awnings. They cost an arm and a leg!

@snowedin

[SnowedIn]

No. They're going to countersue the food companies. It's not that your fork is too big, it's that the FOOD is too big -- it should be small enough to fall between the tines.

Plus, you put the fork in your mouth. How dare you use the implement for the purpose for which it was intended.

[MuskratLove]

Well, I might just sue the trucking company who brings the food to stores.

[SnowedIn]

I think you should open up your own law firm.

[MuskratLove]

Yes! "Snow & Rat"

"Have you, or anyone you know, gotten fat from oversized forks? Call the number on the screen. At Snow & Rat, we specialize in fork law, and if we can't get you a settlement, you owe us nothing."
(And in the commercial we'll both be wearing sweaters to make people think we aren't the pit vipers that we are)(They always wear those sweaters)

[SnowedIn]

Darn. When do I get to wear my Italian suit?

[SnowedIn]

Thank you for MHO!

[MuskratLove]

You're welcome. I asked a question about my friend that was in the navy, and I said he has more stories than Indianapolis Jones. A guy came unglued that I spelled "Indiana" wrong. It's downright scary that there are people that dumb in the world. If you get a chance, watch this movie. It's about what the world will be like in 500 years.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0p43MhMB7Kg

[exitseven]

Just how fat are you?

[MuskratLove]

Remember when they shot down that balloon that was flying over the country?

[exitseven]

hahahahahaha

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO

[MuskratLove]

Sure thing.

[Still-alive]

Time for Perry Mason to take the case

[MuskratLove]

I'll try and get his number.

[Surely]

Then the pencil manufacturers could be held responsible for mistakes on tests and writing errors! Great idea!

[MuskratLove]

Exactly! Are you a lawyer?

[Surely]

I am a lot of things. But definitely not a lawyer. Would not be able to represent some of the scum of the earth out there!

[MuskratLove]

I went to school in the city where those three girls were murdered on campus. I can't even imagine how a lawyer could represent the scum bag in court. He stabbed three girls to death in their sleep.
So how does a defense lawyer defend that? He was having a bad day?

[Surely]

They have to be good at twisting the facts and confusing the jury.
There is a better most lawyer near me. The first question he asks the potential clients. How much property do you own?
But I couldn’t represent someone if I didn’t believe they were innocent!

[MuskratLove]

The lawyers who make the money are the scum bag lawyers. The prosecutes don't make nearly as much.

[Alex8736]

@muskratlove for starters is the defense attorney files for a continuance to review the bill of particulars and any exculpatory evidence the police and ADA maybe withholding along with a motion to dismiss

[MuskratLove]

@Alex8736

I just want them to pay me a lot of money.

[Alex8736]

@muskratlove you can always look up class action lawsuits and you would be surprised with certain cases being settled

[MuskratLove]

@Alex8736

Thanks. I think I'll do this. We need to take a stand against oversized forks.

[Guy13]

Funny and creative. Thanks...

[MuskratLove]

Thank you. I'm waiting for the stupid replies to roll in and blaming me, and not the fork. lol

[wannabeCuck]

U can hire a lawyer to do that

[AFretiredTXn]

LOL.

[MuskratLove]

I think they're doing it on purpose.

[QuietRunner]

bikini...