An eye for an eye? or Turn the other cheek?

[SteveSmith1985]

I am definitely a believer in an eye for an eye (at minimum). That's not in all cases obviously. I think intent is important. I think that there is certainly a place for forgiveness in some circumstances. But generally, if someone wrongs me knowingly... I'm not gonna let that go. How about you?

(please... nobody talk about an eye for an eye leaving the world blind. We've all heard that before. Not compelling. At least not to me. Please refrain from making us all groan) 🙂

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, there are some instances in which I would respond with violence. Those are lmited to matters of self-defense. Otherwise. . .

What is your goal in responding to someone's rudeness with an equivalent measure of rudeness?

1. "I'm teaching them a lesson." No, rude people don't learn lessons in this way and your concern is not really molding their character. Be honest about it!

2. "They deserve it." Do you go through life making sure that everyone gets what they "deserve?" Do you seek out injurtice so you can rectify that situation? If someone's house burns down, through no fault of their own, do you offer them your home as a temporary shelter?

3. "This is the manly thing to do." Only if that is how you define "manly."

4. "It makes me feel good to kick someone else's ass." Now we are getting down to what it's really about. You need to vent your anger and kicking their ass will make you feel better. How does THAT fit in with being manly?

[SteveSmith1985]

For me, it's the first one. I look at it as a Pavlovian response. I want to make you associate being rude to me, with catching shit for it. I want you to come to understand that... being rude to me will be unpleasant for you. At minimum you're getting into a back-and-forth with me for a bit. I consistently and unfailingly meet minor mistreatment (e. g. rudeness) with an agressive, confrontatonal response (verbally, not physically in the case of rudeness).

This works. It really does. I have done this my whole life, and I tend to get along with the vast majority of people. But the few who don't... they'll still treat me with basic respect (rather than rudely) becasue I make damn sure that it's just not worth it for them. I go out of my way to make sure its more trouble than its worth for them to do something similar to me in the future. If you're having a bad day... fine... but better find somone else to take it out on, because Its not going to be worth it to say that rude-thing you've got on the tip of your tongue.

So I personally disagree that this isn't how rude people learn a lesson. I agree that it doesn't make a rude person a not-rude person in general. But it does teach them not to be rude to me, specifically and in particular. I agree with pretty much every thing else you said here. But I do have a different take on the "teaching a lesson" part. 🙂

[OlderAndWiser]

If they are a rude person, you are devoting an additional part of your life to them. Why not just push them aside and keep going?

[NathanDavis]

see the whole picture... and you need both eyes for that

I live among bad hombres... so I'd definitely and surely "pick my battles" and what is actually worth to mess with, with whom... and over what... lol

I am not about to lose my life over a parking spot, for example...

[melanieeeB]

Neither I guess.
If someone hurt me knowingly, I recognize it, accept it and depending on what they did, but mostly I get them out of my life.

And depending on our relationship I might also have a conversation with that person but honestly I learned that I do not need to speak up cause that person knows daamn well what they did, so mostly I just make clear that I have figured it out and that's it.

I don't forget and I definitely don't forget but I just move on.

One friend did nothing too bad but still I ended the contract, two months ago she apologized, she is in therapy and we decided to start our friendship new.
I haven't forgotten or forgiven the reasons why I stopped being friends with her, I'm pretty aware but I moved on and I don't hold grudges. And I would never ever bring it up again, it's in the past and it will stay there.
We will see how it goes 🤷🏽‍♀️

[melanieeeB]

*i definitely don't forgive

[lilyanony1]

I'm not really much of a physical fighter. My mouth and financial stability usually settles things...
My ex on the other hand he kept testing me for years.
It was emotional torture. I'm not sure if he knows what he did to me because (if you're in to horoscopes) Scorpios are known to test their partners. Just his went too far. Anyways I had to play him at his own game to get him to leave once and for all...
I don't recommend it.
But on this occasion it was certainly needed.

Generally I come from the learn and move on approach. I could talk to you but you'd never gain access to my life to hurt me like you did again

[RolandCuthbert]

When I was younger I felt the same way you do. But now that I am old, I understand exactly what is mean by everyone being blind.

The point is not to seek revenge. But to seek justice.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I try to live by turn the other cheek.. but sometimes you run out of cheeks to turn 🤷‍♀️

[TonyMetal___86]

Who wants the cheek when there's a huge spongy forehead 💆🏼‍♀️😬

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@TonyMetal___86 😜 I’m sure noones’s calling your “head” huge 🍆😁😂

[DaySpring]

@SteveSmith1985 Looks like you got your answer in this comment section. A bit of mental judo

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@DaySpring you know me And that other user are just joking with each other right? Isn’t that right @TonyMetal___86

[TonyMetal___86]

@Brainsbeforebeauty true sponge and no one can come in between 😁

[TonyMetal___86]

By the way, you're a very naughty lady and that's why you shouldn't have days off, you won't have my answer about this part 🍆 , keep it to your imagination but hell no, i ain't no nigerian giant 🤣🤣
Your mom is right sponge, we must sit together and find a solution to her naughty daughter cause it seems that she really needs an authentic vitamin D 😁

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@TonyMetal___86 you sure have a Nigerian fetish😂🤣

[TonyMetal___86]

😬😬💆🏼‍♀️😬😬

[Agape93]

Eye for an eye, or an eye for a life. I don't forgive or give second chances. At minimum, I'm getting even.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

I don't forgive, but I usually just kick them out of my life, depending on what that is, or seek legal avenues of retribution.

[ShadezMcgee]

Personally I will say I don't take kindly to being done wrong or hurt by someone else. I won't start the fight, but I will finish it. Retaliation is natural in my eyes.

[NamerOfStars]

The entire point of the law of Talion was to LIMIT violence; if you're going to ask others to refrain from making you groan, you really ought to return the favor.

[DaySpring]

What is the law of talion?

[Anonymous]

The idea is that if you take an eye, you’ll have to give an eye. So not doing an eye for an eye will leave the world half blind. The misunderstanding is that you will take less than an eye for an eye but the principle was given so that nobody would take more than an eye like passing down the blame on the guilty party’s eye… and their spouse’s eye, and their child’s eye…and their donkey’s eye. So not following the eye for an eye rule will also leave the whole world blind. 🫣

[msc545]

It depends. In many cases it's better to just walk away and far more practical.

[crossdressingrihno]

I only have three settings.
Completely ignore.
Petty arguments and insults.
A nuclear option so bad you will never forget my face.

[OfMiceandMen]

Sometimes, you have no other option than to bitch slap em back.

[DaySpring]

You always have a choice.

[OfMiceandMen]

@DaySpring Not if they make it that way.

[Anonymous]

I'll agree with the Bible turn the other cheek. But when you get smacked again you've run out of cheeks to turn. So I'll pray at that point for God to save them from what I'm about to do. 😁👍💯

[exitseven]

Two eyes for an eye. And maybe a couple of teeth too.

[LiamJHayden]

For a persona affront I tend to turn the other cheek. If it's a threat to society, retribution is in order.

[Sam2021]

I've moved on in life grown up i dont have time for these things anymore :)

[call_me_scar]

An eye for eye plus the guys leg, kidney, both Pinky's and the other eye

[Kidblink1]

You hurt my fam or my dog, I will choose violence every time. Schmucks, I iggy if possible.