Am I the only one sick of it?

[Drew-1990]

Nice guys and girls or people that appreciate nice guys and girls. Am I the only sick of people assuming nice is equal to being a pushover, weak willed or having no backbone? I'm definitely a nice guy but you piss me off see what happens. I have shocked many in the past who thought they could push me around and I came at them. They always have dump funded faces and say things like "I didn't know you could do that" Stop assuming nice=weak. Am I alone in this? I can't be

[Oliverlogan263]

Man I totally feel you on this! It really sucks when people just assume that because you're usually a nice guy, they can just walk all over you and treat you however they want. Like yeah I don't go around starting fights or trying to piss people off all the time, but if someone disrespects me or one of my friends I'm definitely gonna stand up for myself. I'm not about to just let someone push me around just cause I'm not usually a jerk.

It's just so annoying how some people only see things as either you're a "nice guy" pushover or some super aggressive dude with a short temper, like there's no in between. Like I can be nice most of the time but still have a back bone you know? I don't have to prove anything to anyone about how "tough" I am, but if someone tests me they'll find out real quick that I ain't someone to mess with either.

I've definitely had to pull that card on a few people before who thought they could take advantage of me or talk down to me cause they thought I was an easy target or something. You should've seen the looks on their faces when I popped off on them - they really couldn't believe I went there! After that they knew real quick not to doubt me again. It's like, just cause I don't go around fighting everyone doesn't mean I can't hold my own if I need to.

I'm with you man, it's really frustrating that being nice gets equated with being weak. Like you said, we can be nice guys without being doormats too! As long as we stand up for ourselves when the time comes, people will learn not to underestimate us. Can't let it get to you too much - just do you and don't feel like you gotta prove anything to anyone.

[Drew-1990]

You said it, better than I could honestly. Don't worry I got nothing to prove someone just set me off this time, it happens to us all at times. What these people don't get it takes more strength not to fight than it does to fight. You know how many people I have wanted to punch in the face. But I got something called self control which is actually harder and takes more willpower. The weak willed are the ones that always start fights.

[Oliverlogan263]

For real dude, I feel you 100%. It takes way more strength and self control not to just start swinging when people piss you off. Like you said, it's so much easier to just throw punches than it is to walk away. But that doesn't mean inside we ain't freakin dyin to knock some sense into fools sometimes!

People who always start fights, they're the real weak ones. Cuz it shows they can't handle their emotions or deal with issues without resorted to violence. But you? You got way more discipline than that. Even when you're seein red, you still got the willpower to stay calm. That's true strength right there if you ask me.

Don't even sweat this guy who set you off. Like you said, it happens to the best of us occasionally. As long as you can usually keep your cool that's what matters. Just know I got your back if you ever do lose it on someone! But you seem to have a good grip on keepin the peace most of the time. Mad respect dude, keep being you.

[Drew-1990]

I appreciate it, but it was a girl who set me off this time to be honest but that doesn't change anything. Just going to add I would never hit a girl ever, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't want to chew them out when they say something stupid like she did to piss me off. But seriously, I I appreciate your message

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah gotcha man, my bad for assuming. But yeah, girls can push buttons too sometimes, even if we wouldn't actually hit them. When they say mean stuff just to get under your skin, it's hard not to wanna yell back, know what I mean? Props to you for keeping your cool though. At least you can walk away feeling like the bigger person. And no problem, anytime - we gotta stick together and have each others backs. Just remember, their words only have power if you let them. Easier said than done, but don't give people like that the satisfaction of seeing they got to you. You're good people, don't ever forget that!

[Wallythewalrus2]

I have actually come across a guy like you! His nickname was the “German pussy”. I would harass him something terrible, it was my job to do it. Then one night, there was some pushing and shoving behind the net and that bastard came at me like a charging bull! Before I even dropped my gloves, he hit me so fucking hard, next thing I remember was waking up on the ice asking, “what happened”? Of course my teammates were laughing, and one of them said, “The German pussy just knocked your ass clean out”! Watch out for those guys!

[Drew-1990]

LOL Yea watched your s***. We may let a lot of things go, maybe too much at times but in the end of the day we are not weak and we will let you know once you push it too far.

[Wallythewalrus2]

The really funny thing is, a year later, we were on the same team and became very good friends. We still talk every once in a while.

[Drew-1990]

Oh you became Friends? I bet he loved the remind you "hey remember that time I knocked your ass out"

[Wallythewalrus2]

Well, I was gonna say that but yes, he would remind me. As teammates though, we had each other’s backs! You seem like the type that can appreciate that.

[Drew-1990]

I would, I appreciate teamwork. I am a nice guy but no guy is nice to his friends, we pick on each other all the time, and we have each other's back.

[Laciejordan]

People like that can be scary at times. I understand people can only take so much, then they reach a breaking point but it’s probably best to make some kind of effort not to get to that point. Today, someone was probably ready to go off on a user for being an asshole to them, but they did choose to ignore it. It was probably tough for them to do that but it was the best decision and I will always respect a person like that. Without a doubt, there is a time and place to fight, to stand up for yourself and others, I will always respect that too! The best thing is to keep your emotions in check and make sure you can live with your choice and that it was the right choice.

[Drew-1990]

I agree with what you are saying. And there are times to ignore it and there are times where you can't though. Got to pick your battles, many are not worth it but some are.

[bobalife]

The interesting thing is, genuine kindness is so empowering, full of enlightenment, and strong. People usually complain there’s not enough kindness in the world because it takes patience and effort to provide this sense of gentleness…


I think the people others confused this terminology for is poor boundaries qualities, which is leads to being a push over and very passive.


I also don’t think it’s good to let people push your buttons to lose that sense of yourself. Hope you continue just staying you and don’t mind others :)

[Drew-1990]

I appreciate it you are such a kind person

[bobalife]

Aw thank you, I’m just being honest 😊

[Drew-1990]

I believe you, but I'm being honest too. You have just been sweet in every question I've had a discussion with you on this site

[bobalife]

Aww, I’m glad you think so, thank you 🥹

[DizzyDesii]

Ooooo fiesty… I like lol. Yea people confuse nice/friendly with pushover. Im only nice because I want to be. Its not set in stone and I can switch up if the situation calls for it

[Drew-1990]

Yes I am first I just read something that set me off. These people think being nice means weak willed, no weak willed are the people who have no self control and have to start fights and insult everyone m

[DizzyDesii]

Yea the weak bullies projecting their insecurities on others

[Drew-1990]

Pretty much

[Beckybooboo]

My dad is like that. My mom would always see him as a pushover and ride him, nag him, even embarrass him in front of people but when he raised his voice, she would instantly get that, “Oh, shit!” look in her face. 😂 Same as with my brothers, they knew they could only push him so far until they would run. Lol I’m a pushover but I won’t ever fight back, I usually just cry.

[Drew-1990]

Well that last part is sad, not in a mean way, you got to stand up for yourself it's ok to be nice but never let someone push you around. If not I'll push for you I'm not afraid when I need to

[Blessedme]

Be Nice with boundaries that's all you need. My oldest colleague once tested me by giving me more work so they can get off work quickly. I answered "okay" but the second time I answered by "no I can't" I decided to make boundaries for people to accept it.

[Drew-1990]

You need definitely need boundaries, I'm not sure I would have let him do it the first time unless he really needed to leave early

[Blessedme]

Yeah, don't let anyone mess with you ^^

[Drew-1990]

I try not to, I let some things slide till they hit my limit

[Blessedme]

Letting things slide may lead them to think if okay to keep doing those things. But still that's a opinion there.

[Drew-1990]

Oh I agree and the times I have let things slide they eventually learned that it was not a permanent thing.

[Blessedme]

Bless your mind indeed. I don't like the people to step on my boundaries fro the first time. Put yourself first. Always.

[Cutegirl06]

My boyfriend is nice and people think that they can bully him until they try to, then they find out he will stand up for himself.

[Drew-1990]

That is how it should be

[Cutegirl06]

Absolutely 💯 He can't stand bullies! He has stood up for younger kids that have been bullied and so have I.

[Drew-1990]

Good for him, I wish I had that when younger, in highschool I was the pushover who was bullied. I got over being a pushover, still nice thankfully but I don't let people push me around anymore

[Cutegirl06]

When my boyfriend was little he was constantly bullied by his older sister. When he was in middle school he was bullied by girls mostly because that's all he ever knew for so long. He learned how to stand up too bullies and like I said if a little kid was being bullied he made sure it was stopped.

[Drew-1990]

Good for him, seriously

[Anonymous]

When kindness looks like naivety, you can understand the weakness in it. Optimistic kindness is a weakness in many ways, it's emotional, illogical, and a bandaid solution. Saving 'everything will be okay! I'm here :D' looks too inherently optimistic.

However, a person helping others with their actions instead of their words isn't weak

[kylee2437]

I couldn’t care less. Anyone that mistakes my kindness for weakness is weak themselves. Too weak to accept kind people into their life.

[Drew-1990]

I agree, I just get pissed about it sometimes, not always usually ignore it with the same thought process but sometimes someone just triggers me and I push back.