My mother went through my things. I think she believes I have hidden money. I am 23. Should I confront her?

[Anonymous]

I study in another city and this week I came to visit my parents and I also brought my laptop with me. This morning I wanted to grab something from my backpack and I notice the box of my external SSD improperly closed (almost in a hastily way), which is not something I would ever leave like that. Beneath that there was my wallet (no money was taken out because it already barely had anything in it), but inside my wallet there were a couple pieces of paper with phone numbers and a business card, which were previously just thrown away on the bottom of the backpack, but I guess my mother thought that they fell from my wallet when she grabbed it.

I had multiple fights with my mother because she belives that I steal money from her and that I hide it or I buy my girlfriend expensive shit. This is not true, but she doesn't belive me. Now, should I confront her about why she went through my things, or should I just let her be, since she now knows that I have no money at all, hidden or otherwise.

Updates

1 y

UPDATE: I was so angry and I couldn't contain myself, so I asked her. Of course she was defensive, as I expected, but the conversation basically went like this: "why did you go through my backpack." - "what? Is anything missing?" - "no, but I know how I had my things in there" - "than, if nothing is missing, why are you accusing me?".

[AviatorTom]

You can confront her but what's to gain other than negativity, and whatever you do or say, it won't stop her from doing the same in the future.

Instead, take better care of your things. A lock on your backpack for example would protect things from your mother and others.

[Asker]

I hadn't considered a lock before, because I didn't keep valuables in there, and if someone really wanted to steal my laptop, they could just cut through the fabric of the backpack. The issue is more about boundaries, not about what I had or didn't have in that backpack.

[AviatorTom]

I understand that,, but she's not going to change her boundaries, or lack of them. Which mean, it's prudent to find another way to deal with it.

[Dargil]

You should secure them better or move out at 23. You are still a dependent child until you get your own place.

[Asker]

I live in another city now. I just came to visit

[Dargil]

Then secure them better. You can't stop her otherwise.

[Staximus]

Tell her to stop going through your shit and get help with her mental illness

[Anonymous]

Buy a safe and keep it locked