Is it normal that my mum controls my finances like this when I am 30 years old?

[HEaven293]

I am 30 years old and I have just got a new job. I am living in a flat at the moment and my mum pays the rent to the flat. I have been broke for a year but since I’ve started my new job my mum has had a lot to say about my finances. She keeps telling me how I need to spend my money and telling me that I have to pay her rent. I have been buying the odd thing for work, especially suits and shirts for going into the office, but I feel like I have to hide these new things I buy, because every time I buy things, I feel like I have to hide my new purchases from my mum because when she finds out, she grills me about them and questions me about what I bought.

Recently I found out that work have funded for me to stay in a five star hotel and they have paid upfront for my travel and hotel costs, and my mum has been obsessively messaging me saying ‘are you sure you can afford this? Are you sure work are paying for this? You don’t want to be paying a lot of money for this expensive hotel?’, and I had to really convince her that work had paid for my expenses.

I feel very suffocated about my finances and I feel like I have to hide things from her. I know my mum controls my dad financially and takes his salary every month and I don’t want this to happen to me.

Is this normal behaviour? And how can I prevent my mum from controlling my money and telling me how to spend my salary?

[BoopBoopBeep]

If your mom is paying your rent at 30 you obviously suck at finances, so seems a good thing she's doing that for you. If you don't like it, stand on your own two feet, then you owe nobody an explanation of where your money goes.

[MrOracle]

Here's how: you can build up a savings so that you don't need to count on your mother - or anyone else - to pay your rent. If you have to rely on someone else to fund your lifestyle, then you had better expect that person to have a lot to say about how you live.

You only get independence if you can completely fund that yourself - INCLUDING during hard times and layoffs and so forth.

[Anonymous]

No, I control my father's finances because he's God awful with money

[jahaims]

Nope