What do you say to your crush: “IS attracted to you; IS NOT looking for relationship; DOES NOT want casual sex; WANTS to SLEEP 😴 together” ?

[VIVANT]

SLEEP as in “to sleep per chance to dream”

💤 ~sleep~ cuddle ~sleep ~no sex~ 💤

I’ve spoken with many people who find this very relaxing. But these people are not anxious for sex. I don't know how relaxing it is for the person who really badly wants sex.

Tho some may agree, it can be relaxing even if they want sex, as long as they know for sure sex is definitely not happening.

I’m sure some would agree while nursing a deep hope for more..

if I like someone I’d be ok sleeping next to them or I’d be very happy to depending …as long as I was absolutely assured they really weren’t expecting sex.

i can easily see this being exploited under false pretenses so I’d have to trust them a ton and tres carefully. I’d make sure my roommates are home for example..

I have never had anyone say they wanted to sleep next to me when what they really wanted to do was sleep. And I’ve never said this to an anyone bc I am confident the assumption will be that im speaking in code and sleep is just euphemism for sex.

my guess is despite my vast Herculean emoji efforts😛, many people will not read the body of this post and will assume fork the tiller that the person who doesn’t want to date wants friends with benefits to avoid having sex with someone they know.

I see gag immediately placed it in sexuality😒

It is like to live in a world where this kind of thing could be taken at face value.

actuality I think within the Amish community young people sleep next to each other as part of courtship. But courtship is a huge deal so that’s not a great example I suppose. Respect tho. I think it’s a good idea.

I think in dating people spend so much conscious energy existing themselves trying to be a certain way and present a certain way that much of our authentic self get swept away. While with Sleeping you are who you are… you can’t fake it. Your curations are exactly you. I think it’s a good bonding exercise bed very Informative. Or alternatively, just calming and peaceful.

I’d find it creepy and decline the offer.

I’d be happy to as long as I don’t like them that much.

I’d be happy to if I felt there was a possibility they would change their mind in the distant future.

I’d just be happy to. It’s no problem for me to cuddle without sex and I enjoy it esp if I’m attracted to the person.

Nope. Not that kind of close proximity without the sex. NO

Nope. Never. I do not like sleeping next to anyone not even if we are having sex.

OTHER / just wanna see results 👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣

[Garud]

it will ache my heart a little bit but if she is my crush then fine I will sleep with her without expecting anything and I will give her some cuddles and something warm to drink and watch something nice together before sleeping, that's it.

one important point, only if I trust her that she will not file any false police report on me.
in my country by law, a woman is always the victim and a man is always the criminal, in cases where a man and a woman are involved, no matter what.
no preliminary inquiry, no proofs are needed, I will be put behind bars for years and there are no consequences for her if she is found guilty as courts thought that this would discourage women from filing cases on men.

[VIVANT]

Wow, I didn’t even think of that. I guess that would be concern for people. But the first half sounds really considered and sweet. That would be kind of you. Probably somebody who wanted to do something like that would have some kind of feeling for a person, especially if they knew that you liked them maybe they had a crush on you too and they just didn’t want more at the time I think all those things can change naturally I think people rush stuff so much that a lot of of the time we just don’t find out what was gonna happen next.

Law suit jeez 😓

[Garud]

and who is providing this illegal in the guise of legal protection, men at the top.
why, because they want to remain in power, the public was asking for security, they made draconian laws to silence them, but security for all is still not there,
this is how the foolish public is controlled.

and yes, no women are oppressed systematically, it is bogus, the reality is, all life suffered in a way and it is still happening now.

those who never faced any oppression want to punish the innocent who never oppressed anyone and people will slowly stop taking the real victims seriously,
and men will not be afraid but in return, Islam will spread against women more.

I am just looking at how deeply your mentality got twisted and perverted,
, and women like you are the ones who fight in the courts to get the right to sexually molest little boys,
get ready, to get the same treatment again, especially you are the reason so prepare yourself

[midnightmoon05]

I have a gold and purpose in life… I don’t like to waste time.
by the time I became an adult, I knew I wanted to be with someone special to treats me the same…. A loving couple to build a happy relationship.
that’s what I got.

after I joined gag…. I read about all these strange stuff out there … I don’t know how true… but not in my circle of friends/family.

we want to be educated, get a job. Find a mate. Build a life, family together. For others prob think it’s boring… I am happy being boring.

I don’t like to make life complicated or confusing and have to ask 10 million questions about what others feel or doing… I want someone who share my dreams, traditions and values. (With these basic being compatible…we can do so much more with ourselves together).

so to answer… I would be an acquaintance with that person … nothing more to complicate my life.

[Zack-Bann]

Ideally I would like a full fledged adult relationship with someone I have a crush on


But I can also take all the time needed to reach that level if the person truly is worth sticking around for


I don’t think sleeping next to someone is that big of a deal.
Out of necessity I have done it with friends in the past, we didn’t make it weird


Now the cuddling part is a different beast:
Without bragging too much, Im pretty confident any woman who reaches a point of cuddling with me will undoubtedly feel that gut-wrenching desire to discover just how much pleasure the human body can handle…


Then again who really knows

[VIVANT]

🤣 I think your confidence is great because I know that you respect the other person so it’s not dangerous and you should keep it and you’re probably right 73% of the time anyway. But who knows.

Yeah, I do think of both people are interested then it’s good to actually work towards being in a relationship. You’d be surprised though how uncomfortable a lot of people can be with just being close to someone without anything happening immediately.

On the other hand, I find it equally strange that apparently it’s not that uncommon for friends to like full on cuddle, which ehhh I could not do that. I mean, not sure if you have to sleep next to someone for variety reasons fine that’s simple but like involved sleeping next to someone that would be really strange if you weren’t actually into them.

And I could see it being something that’s tempting if for some reason you’re not ready to be in a relationship or you can’t or like maybe you’re you know off to join the circus or something 🤔 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Zack-Bann]

To be clear sleep next to friends didn’t involve any cuddling whatsoever

I like the 73%
Just shy of 3 quarters

[VIVANT]

I very much assumed you meant friends sleeping not friends cuddling — just a big phat hunch on my part 😛

It’s an automatic event in any camping scenario for example and I can think of many many more.

Haha just shy 🥲

[Zack-Bann]

You underestimate what you’re capable of…
Just look at how far you’ve come when it comes to associating with other carbon creatures 😉

[VIVANT]

Carbon creates lol yes I’m becoming more carbon friendly 🫠

[WindAtMyBack]

Sleeping with someone without having sex might look OK on paper.

But if I really have a crush on them, and I'm laying in the same bed with them, I WILL want to have sex with them. A million years of evolution says so. That doesn't mean I want sex every time, far from it. But if I'm laying next to someone I am really into, nature is going to kick in.

I have a low libido. But I know for a fact that if I am sleeping next to someone I really like, I'll be raring to go.

On paper and reality are two different things.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

There is no such thing, but I can see market for it I can sell services lol

100 dollars per hour sleep with cuddle and spooning benfits tight hugs plus can sleep on my hand until it goes number.

Conditions apply brush, bath and clothes on extra charges for off clothes as it requires professionalism and control services only for ladies 💥👍🎉re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

[Jamie05rhs]

What the f. Why would I sleep with someone if they're not willing to have a relationship with me? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. That's setting yourself up for heartbreak from the get-go. Because you will be emotionally attached to that person and form a close bond with them, but they will have a wall up and see you as nothing more than a friend. I don't know if you believe in Hell or not, but if Hell is real it would look like this. (I mean, apart from the fire and sulfur and all that, which would still be there in addition to the mental and emotional suffering.)

[Jamie05rhs]

(by the way, yes, I know you mean actual sleep, not sex. We've had this conversation before.)

[Shark_61695]

I've got my XL pillow and a weighted blanket... who needs another person?

I'm hoping to get a fluffy body pillow soon (ish) and as for a crush, not had one of those for many (many) years.

[VIVANT]

😂 well really this is really awesome. I have a weighted blanket for my puppy. It works really well. Does it help you sleep or relax or how does it work?

[Shark_61695]

I've always liked a big duvet... the weighted blanket let's me feel like I'm wrapped up without being too hot. It now feels funny not having it.

Between the weighted blanket and my heavy coat, I'm almost always carrying extra weight round with me 😅

[Grond21]

They have their priorities and boundaries messed up

[VIVANT]

Would you literally say that to them? or is that just your opinion?

I don’t know that the priorities are messed up because they’re not actually doing anything until they’re ready which isn’t yet. I don’t know. I guess it depends on how you look at it considering people are having sex all over the place. I wouldn’t see such a big deal. But I could see being uncomfortable for sure. 👍🏽

[Grond21]

No, as that would probably be unkind. It is correct though.

As you pointed out in the body of your question, it is true that we live in a time where all sexual morality and standards are lost. This doesn't mean we should follow suit, because the vast majority of people doing it are very unhappy and dealing with a lot of wounds.

If you are interested in someone you want to have intimacy with them. To put yourself in a situation with a possibility of sex but then promise not to is to be at internal odds. It's also difficult because you need to trust them as you pointed out, and sometimes we shouldn't even trust ourselves in tempting situations.

[KrakenAttackin]

So she wants all the intimacy without commitment or sex, that's such a tormenting situation to the person who is crushing.

[VIVANT]

I’ve actually discovered that it’s not uncommon amongst friends to do this. I cannot imagine doing that myself, but it seems it is a thing.

I suppose it might change things of one of the people like the other and then… if they both like each the other, I wonder if that would be even more awkward.

On the other hand, there are people who might have feelings or someone but they themselves don’t actually want to be in a relationship so it might not be a tormenting situation depending I guess on what people wanted. And of course, I don’t imagine what happened at all if they both didn’t want it…so no tormen

who would agree to it if it was gonna be tormenting… well some might, but unadvisable.

[KrakenAttackin]

Agreed. The person crushing will hope the other person changes their mind, but this is really the most brutal depths of the friend zone.

[soe11]

• If we both love to sleep and sex then why not?
• I like sweetie gorgeous female have sax sleep, showers and battling together, as well as going out with her for coffee.
• She must be attractive and give attention wearing revealing sexy outfits.
• Whenever my girlfriend away for business trip l, I sleep sex, shower with her friend

[BarryLiverstone]

Sounds like you are describing a good friendship. Am I right?

[VIVANT]

I’ve never slept next to anybody that I was friends with. I can’t do that.. however I hear that it’s not uncommon. Which I find strange but interesting. Lol

[BarryLiverstone]

I based my question off of this paragraph: “if I like someone I’d be ok sleeping next to them or I’d be very happy to depending …as long as I was absolutely assured they really weren’t expecting sex.”

So while you have the desire to want to sleep next to them it’s never happened before.

[Juxtapose]

I'm not going to specifically want to sleep next to someone without any future possibility whatsoever of a physically intimate relationship. I am not asexual, I get validation from being desired. Even if she does not want to have sex right away, I would like to not be closed off forever.. what a bummer!

If I want someone platonic to sleep beside, I can sleep next to my cat. She's probably more cuddly than anyone but a really good lover anyway haha.

[TadCurious]

Vivant I voted that I would be happy to as long as there was a chance (not even a certainty but just a chance) for more. Just sleeping together would be a bonding act but with that bonding would eventually come a strong desire for more.

[spartan55]

That doesn't make any sense to me. If I am sleeping in the same bed with a woman I want a relationship and sex.

[RealMarek]

I would decline because of the potential for physical arousal, especially if I fell asleep cuddling and the risk of her feeling it.

[molonski2]

If its going to be like Tantra then that would be fine , that element to it..

[Sevenpointfive]

i'd totally sleep with a crush, but her face might be a little crusty in the morning

[nawtee_me]

If we are just going to be roommates then she can sleep in her own bed. Otherwise she might catch me masturbating in the middle of the night every now and then….

[Likes2drive]

Maybe if there was a possibility of sex

[VIVANT]

And I’m curious, If they say no sex what would make you feel like sex was a possibility?

[Likes2drive]

I guess if they wrap themselves around you and grope you

[VIVANT]

But you wouldn’t know that before hand?

[Likes2drive]

No I guess not so I would only hope it’s a possibility but I would not force it

[Ad_Quid_Orator]

I'd say let's be cuddle buddies for a bit.

[VIVANT]

You don’t find that awkward to say? I mean, I think that’s great. Just I would feel weird saying that I’m always impressed with people can say it. I think I could do it. It’s just hard to say lol

[Ad_Quid_Orator]

Maybe a little awkward but the reward would be worth any kind of slight awkwardness.

[Yannae]

Only if cuddling is on the table.

[msc545]

why not...