Have you ever had someone throw fire your way, but you chose to be the water?

Question

Sometimes people come at you with drama, negativity, cruelty... I'm learning that sometimes the strongest move is choosing to stay calm and be kind. I choose peace and love for myself.

sawno · Accepted Answer

Constantly, I like to abstract it as an energy transaction. When I do something and get an unequal reaction back from someone I know doesn't mean it I don't return to sender. Obviously that will hurt, but they are giving me the pain they can't handle. I heal it for them instead and since its not my pain it heals quick. Often if I do then talk to them the next day and they feel great I think to myself "You're welcome".

But when I do it its not like I let it happen either, I do provoke with honesty. That serves two purposes. First of all it helps poke it out, they will deny and possibly get angrier. That's fine. But the second is that when your mad you have clouded judgement so I need to make them painfully aware they are projecting. Because that way once I heal it its a clean heal, not an association towards hating me.

I'm such a natural at it that I just instinctively do it. But if its not someone I want to do it for because your hostile and I don't even know you I will pingpong it back.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Accepted Answer

Ah, water, here I go with  Bruce again . Bruce is cool, I like him, well he's dead okay, I like him anyway. I like SOME dead people. Anyways. What you ask is veeeeery difficult to do I believe. I'm  calm  in times of fire, playfully calm probably. But calm AND kind in such times, wow. It's really a lot to ask. I mean I would do it if I felt it, but I won't force myself too much or else, I think I'd betray myself, betray what I really feel. It's one thing to remain calm, but  genuinely feeling kind when facing an unsolicited storm?  Is it really something I believed in? Not sure... That's Bruce, hi Bruce 👋🏼

Babygirl_S · Accepted Answer

It’s okay to protect your boundaries so you don’t lose yourself. Staying calm can be misinterpreted. You stay calm when you’re with a man who has limits not with a beast who simply doesn’t hear you unless you shout. It’s even a turn-on so he simply doesn’t stop harassing you as you’re his biggest fantasy. He might even build an army against you if you don’t get your own.

Beckybooboo · Accepted Answer

All the time. My parents say I take after my grandfather, he was a very easygoing person that always remained calm and had a calming effect on others. I talk a good game when I'm around friends, "I'm gonna tell them (this and that) and if they say anything back, I'll just slap the taste out of their mouth"! but I always let it slide 😂😂😂 life's too short.

dragoblack · Answer

Yep, jumped in to save a buddy from his petty crazy ex who wouldn't give him his stuff back including the keys for his car, his phone, and his wallet. She destroyed all of his electronics, and a couple of his instruments. I offered to listen to her side and she just verbally treated me like crap and spread lies about him, while saying he has his stuff (which he didn't). It got to the point i had to call the cops to intermediary to get his stuff back and she wouldn't even answer the door for them, but texted me on Facebook yelling at me for calling the cops because she wasn't working with me to just get his stuff out of there, so he can leave her for good... it was a mess, but i stayed calm through the whole thing.

Phoenix98 · Answer

If you come at me with the genuine intention to burn (hurt) me I will deal with you in the cruelest and calmest way possible which I'll do so with complete indifference and emotional detachment because that is the most effective way to ensure you never approach me again.

I prefer to not use that method but If I have to I will.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

I literally doused my then-friend with water from the garden hose when she was being over-actingly dramatic.

Abbycado · Answer

Yuss. @circushowcowboy throws shade, on my big toe. Annoying. 🙄

sage2021 · Answer

Yes, but when I doused the fire I found my calm place again and my peace - all while going silent.

Simslover92 · Answer

Yes I have and I chose to stay calm and be peaceful as well!

TCredo · Answer

What you've been learning is something more people need to learn. Reacting to negativity with calm positivity is effectively powerful - and it's something I've learned to practice. Not always easy... but it's best :)

DJB72 · Answer

It happens, but it's not easy for me, given I'm more napalm...

SotiCoto · Answer

I don't have the option to transform my body into water. This is reality. That sort of thing is impossible. And much as I like fire, I'd rather it not be thrown at me. They can just put it in front of me and let me admire it.

Anonymous · Answer

Good idea
I'm usually volatile
But you are right
Recently my mic was on during a zoom
And I interrupted the meeting by mistake
Loads of people messaged me to turn off the mic
And I was a bit rude in response🙂
I need to be more cool

Ironco · Answer

I'm old school, I tell people bringing the drama to fuck off. Then leave, I don't give a shit about what the have to say about me or the shit they are trying to push...

That's just me, but I'm happy with it.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

I wish I could, but that’s a definitive no. If someone throws fire my way, they’re gonna find out what happens when hell answers back.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Yup … my employer. He’s a dumpster fire but magically skates through life yet is never happy. He constantly finds something to get angry over.

Shiprex · Answer

It's my style in the first place. Usually to overwhelm them with an antidote to their issue.

eagle1951 · Answer

now i'm water younger days i was fire on fire

AydenHazor · Answer

I completely agree, staying calm and composed and refusing to engage in the drama is the best route to take

Massageman · Answer

Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

OneViewpoint · Answer

No, I wasn't cut out to turn the other cheek. If you come at me with fire, you best make sure you're fireproof first.

Anonymous · Answer

Someone i love Danielle is also in the process of learning this

qwerty2469 · Answer

No. Im from Philly. We meet fire with more fire. If you come at us at a 3 we escalate to 5 on, and on, until one of us is dead.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, it happened a few times...

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

On a few 4th of July's, but no water was readily available!

exitseven · Answer

No. I usually am the 5 gallon gas can.

DishLady · Answer

All the time. It's just life.

biraileeşkadını · Answer

Of course not.

Have you ever had someone throw fire your way, but you chose to be the water?

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Have you ever had someone throw fire your way, but you chose to be the water?

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