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Is It Normal to Be This Afraid of People?

I don’t know what benefit writing this will give me or what people who read it will think. But I’m thinking maybe someone can give me advice that will ease my heart. I have social problems. I’m afraid of people. For example, if someone in public simply tells me to get up from where I’m sitting, I would feel embarrassed and wouldn’t know what to do. If someone speaks harshly to me, I can’t respond. Among my coworkers, some of them always say inappropriate things just to hurt me. Their words disturb me, but I can’t reply.

There are many small and big events that have broken my heart. Maybe if someone finds it interesting, I can share some of them.

Actually, my appearance and clothing are very good and neat. I’m the youngest at my workplace and the one who was hired with the highest score. So I’m not excluded because of those things. It’s just that people talk behind my back because they know I won’t do anything or respond.

I want to tell one story. I was working as a biology teacher in a remote village school. In one class, there were six students; they were very naughty and ill-mannered. I was explaining the food chain in class. I said cabbage was at the first level of the chain, then I thought about which animal eats cabbage and earthworm came to my mind. The students told this to their homeroom teacher. That teacher was always looking for my mistakes and would say hurtful things to me. She then went and told the story to another class. When I found out about this, I didn’t know how to react.

I’m afraid to speak up even about the smallest thing. I feel like people will insult me and I’ll be embarrassed.

Even if I’m right, if someone raises their voice at me, I get scared. I know it’s because of my childhood trauma, but I can’t control myself.
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4 mo
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Is It Normal to Be This Afraid of People?
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