You want peace but you can't be alone for 10 minutes without anxiety. So you scroll. You check your phone again, not because you need to, but because silence makes you hear things you don't want to hear.
You want meaningful work but you stay in a job that looks good on LinkedIn and feels dead inside. You call it stable. It's actually slow death. You traded aliveness for approval.
You want financial freedom but you spend money to cope with the job that makes you need coping. You want to look successful more than you want to feel free. And that cycle keeps you broke in a richer way.
You want to be healthy but you don't take care of your body. You punish it. You starve it, you overwork it, you don't sleep, you scroll till 2am, then you wonder why you're always tired and numb.
You want real love but you don't love honestly. You want someone to stay while you keep one foot out. You want loyalty while you keep texting that one person "just in case". You want to be understood but you never say how you really feel.
You want real friends but you ghost everyone when you're not okay. You disappear, then you say "no one checks on me". You don't let anyone in, then you feel lonely. That's not loneliness, that's self abandonment.
You want your family to be proud but you live a life to make them proud, not a life that makes you feel alive. You perform, you don't live.
You want next year to be different but you protect the exact habits, the exact people, the exact stories and lies that keep you exactly here.
So no, you're not lost. You know exactly what you're doing.
You keep asking life to give you more.. more love, more money, more peace while you keep giving yourself less. Less truth, less rest, less courage, less honesty.
So tell me, how can next year be different if you keep betraying yourself in the same small, quiet ways every single day?
No one can stay where you won't even stay for yourself. You know its true
Is your life just a collection of how you fool yourself everyday? Another dream that never comes true cause you're stuck in the same lies?
You are right. My job sucks the life out of me. But apparently I need some kind of financial stability.
It's amazing how much things don't change. It kind of implies a non-randomness and meaningfulness to life. Because it does seem our actions, on a deeper intent level, determine the kind of lives we lead and what we get to 'manifest'.
No. My life is a "where is God directing me" anymore.
I'm completely off the treadmill in life in every possible way. The last 5 years has completely changed my life. i'm trying to be what i think God wants me to be but he's not very direct with his communication. The last 5 years seems to only be where he DOESN'T want me to be and what he DOESN'T want me to do. But he's not really presenting me with visible alternatives.
Home > Other > Questions > Is your life just a collection of how you fool yourself everyday? Another dream that never comes true cause you're stuck in the same lies?
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You are right. My job sucks the life out of me. But apparently I need some kind of financial stability.
It's amazing how much things don't change. It kind of implies a non-randomness and meaningfulness to life. Because it does seem our actions, on a deeper intent level, determine the kind of lives we lead and what we get to 'manifest'.
Thank u Levin for sharing this here, it takes a lot to be this honest.
I hope u find your way out soon, u deserve a life that feels so much lighter.
Hope things get better for u ๐
No. My life is a "where is God directing me" anymore.
I'm completely off the treadmill in life in every possible way. The last 5 years has completely changed my life. i'm trying to be what i think God wants me to be but he's not very direct with his communication. The last 5 years seems to only be where he DOESN'T want me to be and what he DOESN'T want me to do. But he's not really presenting me with visible alternatives.
I hear you.
Sometimes not knowing where to go is also part of being guided.
The fact that you know where He doesn't want you to be, means you're already listening.
Maybe the alternative isn't visible yet because you're still being prepared for it.
Sending you strength ๐
I'm stuck, but not because of lies. Life, especially joblife, sure has a sick sense of humor.
Joblife's jokes are the worst, I know but you're healing and that's already work.
Rest is also progress, Ry.
Let me know if you need anything ๐ค
no... I lead a more simple life
I donโt feel like that.
That's okay, this wasn't for everyone ๐
Damn.
I know. Damn indeed.