Boyfriend wants to go on a vacation without me?

[raabzbaby89]

My boyfriend's best friend is moving to China in a month and a half, and my boyfriend is thinking of going with him. I told him if he stays there for more than a month, I'm going to leave him. Is this unreasonable?

I've only been with my boyfriend for a little more than a year, and we don't live together, so I'm not quick to trust him to go on trips without me.

I can't go to China with him because I'm still in college. Not to mention that my boyfriend is a pizza delivery man and lives with his parents,

Updates

+1 y

I'd say that two or three weeks is reasonable, I get that he wants to be with his best friend. But, if he stays for an extended amount of time, that pretty much says he is good without me.

[LukeLockehart]

From a guy's perspective.. it sounds like he just needs a little get away from the day to day grind, and it has nothing to do with you two's relationship.

Getting to travel across the world with a good friend is a once in a lifetime opportunity. You don't want to guilt trip him into not going, and have him resent you for it.

I would say anything under a month is pretty fair as well.

Also - he is going to be constantly busy and spending a lot of time with his friend, so don't take it personal if he isn't constantly contacting you. He just needs some "him" time.

You will only be able to tell how things are with you when he gets back.

But here's the ironic part... The more freedom and space you give him, the more he will be drawn back to you when he returns. But the more attention you try to get, and more you try to get him to come back sooner, when he does come back he will be more distant.

I know this is scary, but if it it meant to be, you two will get through this stronger. So good luck you to, and hopefully when he returns he will realize how much he missed you!

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

You have trust issues with him. If you can't trust him after a year of a relationship, move on.

[aly-marie]

How is he gonna afford to go anyway? And even if he could get there, he couldn't stay very long with his pay.

But anyway, I think it's understandable he would want to go, it's his best friend that's leaving, and going to China would be a great experience. And you said yourself you wouldn't be able to go, even if he had invited you, and he probably knows that.

That's not to say I would be overjoyed if my boyfriend did that, but I would be reluctant to try to control him. It could make him resentful of you if you make him come back at a certain time just so you don't leave him. I think this is a good opportunity to practice having some trust in each other; discuss how often you want to call each other, etc.

That is up to you though, of course. If you feel it is a non-negotiable issue, then do what you think is best.

[Cynthia325]

I say let him go and once he's there you will see how he acts when he's away from you for so long. If he is calling regularly and making effort to keep the relationship going then you just have to trust him. You've been together a year, give him the chance to show how he really feels. This is also about his best friend leaving, China is a great opportunity and of course you will miss him but you never know maybe hell come back sooner then you think. You can't tell him he can't go and you shouldn't give him that ultimatum. Also doing this will show him that you are mature and how much you care about him too by being trust worthy your self. Just because he is in China doesn't mean he isn't going to worry about what your doing too. Trust each other!

[Rabia]

I think you should allow him to go , because it's such chance .. I love to travel too and my boyfriend can't somtimes with me but I can't imagine he wouldn't allow me to go ! And if he would cheat you in China then that only means he is stupid pig and you would at least know it. But you are right than month and half is too long time, tell him that you trust him and he can go but more than one month it's too long, if he wouldn't care about your opinion then dump him

[Anonymous]

Dump your boyfriend.

He clearly isn't taking his future or his life seriously. You can do much better and I'm so happy that you seem to realize this.

[Anonymous]

If you don't trust him enough to go on a trip without you why are you together?