My boyfriend goes to vacation by himself, what should I do?

[serena18]

My boyfriend will take two weeks on vacation. I feel like he has his own life, he doesn't need me in his life. But more important, I can't go anywhere because of the stupid visa. Why he can't just come and visit me? He said he will spend two weeks on vacation with his parents. He needs a break without work. Should I be suspicious? I just feel like we can't be together any longer, he's not trying...and I don't know what I can do

[relationshipDNA]

Yah...I think you have a definite cause for concern. When you really love someone, you just want to be around them at all times. Some people will say, there's nothing wrong with wanting to spend time away from a significant other, sometimes you just need a break. A break from what? Love?

The fact that he's vacationing alone isn't the issue. That's a red herring. I will have an all-girls weekend, or my husband will go on a weekend trip, but two weeks without each other? I couldn't imagine, but we are each others' best friends. The question really is, does he see you as more than a "girlfriend". Where do you rank in his life? If you feel he's not trying, have you conveyed that effectively and if you have, why hasn't he addressed it?

I for one don't think anyone should stay in a relationship where it feels one sided, like you are maybe number 5 on the list of most important people. You deserve to be on the VIP list, and for someone to make you feel like you matter and that you are loved. I think your gut and intuition is right on this one. I say, make a real final push and effort to get him to see things from your perspective. If you continue to feel like this, then you know its time to cut your losses.

I wish you luck in love.

[serena18]

I feel so sad when you point these out...

[relationshipDNA]

Aww no. Didn't want to make you sad. Preferred that you feel empowered. The most saddest position to be in is the victim and there's no reason to be there if you're not being loved the way you feel you deserve. Time is too precious and life is too short to spend any of part of it not living it the way we want to. Make sure he understands your issues, and be strong enough to make the hard decisions when you do get your answer. It's all about taking control of the situation and your happiness.

[Coleen]

I am a little confused. You asked why he doesn't just visit you. Are you in another country? If so, then find another boyfriend. Why can 't you get a visa?

Also, how long have you been together? Where is he going? How often (once a year)? Is it more than once? How often do you see him?

There are so many parameters that make it difficult to answer this question.

If he goes on vacation once a year with his family and this is something he has always done, then I guess you will have to deal with it. If you two get married then I would think you would be a part of the family vacations.

It sounds like you feel like he doesn't spend enough time with you and you are also feeling like you can't trust him (on the inside). It sounds like maybe you said something to him and he blows it off (?).

If you are feeling this way, you will always feel this way. When you are ready, you should find a guy that doesn't make you feel that way.

[serena18]

Yes I am in another country where he work at. We've know each other since March. But we can't meet a lot since he travels a lot. I know he's super tired, so he need a vacation. He doesn't like the place here, so he would rather go somewhere. But my point is if he has time, he should spend more time with me, get along with each other, but he goes by himself or with parents. I feel tired of waiting

[Coleen]

sorry but you should find a boyfriend that is near you and wants to spend time with you... good luck