Is it OK for my boyfriend to go on vacation for 3 weeks without me?

[Anonymous]

We've been dating for about 9 months and spend every day with each other. We've said "i love you" to each other and are always talking about our future together. He wants to go to Costa Rica for 3 weeks and knows that I can't go with my job (it's been really busy). I'm going to miss him terribly and 3 weeks by himself alone in another country I don't like that much.

I don't want to ask him not to go because then he could resent me for not going away. I don't want to pretend that I want him to go and I'm happy he's leaving me. I have no idea what to do at this point. Any thoughts?

Updates

+1 y

I have been honest with him about my feelings, but I don't want to be selfish. I want to do what is best for our relationship. I love and care about him so much, but I'm just not OK with him leaving for 3 weeks alone without me. I want him to wait so we can take a vacation together, but he said no. He enjoys traveling very much so this will be the first of many trips that he will be leaving me to go alone.

[komotion]

He just said no without giving a reason? I know this isn't what you want to hear, but that is being selfish. You knew he enjoyed traveling and that, that came with the territory, and you can't really expect him to drop everything all of a sudden or change who he is. Sorry. :/ I hope you guys can work it out though, cause it sounds like even though you wouldn't go on this trip, you would get to go on others with a man you enjoy being around. Not many women can say that they get to do that.

[komotion]

Express that you are putting your trust in him and that this is really tough, but you trust him. It sucks, but if he's a good guy then your relationship will be stronger when he gets back. So definitely voice your opinion, but don't tell him not to go as that will only make him think you don't trust him at all.

[Deft_maiden]

Yes. I know it is hard for you. But you must not stand in his way. Talk to him express your fears. But don't ask him not to go. It will a a good test for both of you. Just because you are in a relationship it doesn't mean you can't be apart. 3 weeks is too long I agree. But as long as it doesn't happen frequently it is fine. it will make you a stronger girl. And if he loves you he'll be missing you terribly

[taster]

^Yes..Well said...he shouldn't have to not travel just because you can't...but...three weeks is a little much...o.O

[Deft_maiden]

<33 <33

[Deft_maiden]

wow thanks for remembering and the pick! I Hope it worked out well. :)

[Belgie]

Of course it's okay.

You can just be honest. I suppose that has never occurred to you.

Tell him you'll miss him and you'll be sad to see him go. But also tell him that you don't resent him going, and you hope he has a great time.

[KERMlT]

How can one miss the other without some separation? I'm sure he will have a great time and maybe get you a gift while he is there.