How can a social phobia guy get a girl friend?

[Anonymous]

I really need to know how to make this easier for me. I can't talk to girls and..

[AJtogo]

I want to go skydiving but I'm afraid of flying. Looks like I won't be going until I get over my fear of flying. You want a girlfriend but you're afraid to talk to girls. Looks like you won't be getting a gf.

You're going to have to get over your fear and there's one thing you can start to do. Start talking to girls casually. Not anyone you're interested in dating, just any girl. Ask that girl at the busstop what time it is. Ask the girl behind the counter where to find an item in the store. Ask the girl walking her dog what type it is. And on and on. Get used to those conversation starters. When you start feeling comfortable with that, then move on to asking two questions or making a comment about general happenings (context appropriate of course). Eventually you will begin to realize that it's not that difficult.

Right now, you're probably so afraid of rejection that you won't even try. So start with situations where rejection isn't even a consideration. As well, accept the fact that not all girls will want to date you, even the ones we really want. Rejection is just a part of beginning relationships and shouldn't be taken personally. But also remember that you will not be rejected all the time. Think of all those assholes out there who have gfs. Girls love assholes, that's why I am one :) Back to the topic.

Start slow and with girls that you really don't want to date. If you talk to them without expecting anything in return then you will find that it's not that hard and can then take those skills to someone you're interested in.

[jusdatboi69]

Social anxiety is a bad disorder to have. It feels horrible and in the end, its not really treatable.

I know this because I have social anxiety myself, and it is in fact a medical condition, usually linked with depression (but not always).

When I say its not treatable, I mean it will always be there no matter what you do. But, there are ways you can try to block it out. Luckily, I found a girl that doesn't think of me any less for getting nervous around people, and she helps me out very much.

My advise is take deep breaths, and try to start some small talk. Oh and hey, you could have it much worse...lots of people with social anxiety have sweating problems...which just makes it worse lol.l

hope I helped.

[eyesofrain]

this sounds dumb and I'm not sure if it will help you like it helped me but there's a true statistic out there that ten out of ten people DIE. Really its true. so when your on your deathbed you don't want to think of what you should have done. I understand that you might not be comfortable doing something crazy or drastic in front of people who know you, but try going somewhere that you don't know anyone and introduce yourself, like a bar. they have no prior knowledge of you and you can really come out of your shell.

[romantiquee15]

the only way to deal with ur problem is to face it, really it's the truth. if you always stay in ur shell, you will never improve. so I guess take baby steps like start saying hi to people, introduce yourself etc...and little by little u'll become a social butterfly. if you don't know what you say or how to say it or think u'll freeze up when you actually want to start talking then practice by yourself first or with a friend. hope this helped.

[studmuffin-perfect10]

Lol my phobia was caused by living the world most subbish town ann arbor.lol

[Anonymous]

I have social anxiety and I am still trying to figure out how to get a boyfriend. I have no advice because I suck at that kind of thing too, but good luck.

[recon1234]

I had the same problem...but once I joined the military myself confidence boosted up...and know I am not shy at all, I am more mature and a swagger now. But I think you should do some research on the psychology of it, you will learn a lot about yourself and it'll boost your confidence. At the same time it's better to confront the problem rather than evading it. Good luck.