Why do I go unnoticed?

[Anonymous]

Just for the record, I'm not just a kid whining about his dating woes. Anyways...

I often go unnoticed by girls at my school and other various places and I guess I want to change that. However, I can't really understand why. I run track and cross country, meaning I'm in pretty good shape, I like to think I'm fairly intelligent, I play music in a pretty decent band, and I'm fashionable as well. By fashionable, I don't mean hollister shirt, hollister jeans, SnapBack. I'm sure I sound too pretentious for that. While that doesn't completely describe me, I think I hit a lot of important points. I also won't tell you I'm a supermodel, but I don't see myself as bad looking; I think I'm some degree of handsome. As for my personality, I'm usually sarcastic or joking, which was how I was raised, but I can be serious when necessary. Even when I'm sarcastic I rarely mean any harm.

To;dr some normal punk 15 year old

So now that I have introduced you to myself, tell me what's wrong with me. Why aren't girls attracted to me? If you feel particularly helpful, you can even give me advice on getting noticed. :)

[stupidstupidme]

Kid, you're fifteen, relax.

You're obviously mature and intelligent for your age, and that is a rare gift that only becomes more advantageous later in life. Say... college.

At this point, the cute, well-developed girls who you want to notice you are too busy parading around their new bodies for attention and falling for the immature hunks whose mental capacity may not match yours, but I'll bet pull off the hollister model look helluva lot better. And the girls who are noticing you are probably going unnoticed.

The girls that are worth a damn, whose breasts haven't outgrown their brains, usually aren't attractive at fifteen. Their inexperience also makes them awkward. They're the ones who blossom later in life; the ones who are funny, smart, and mature at twenty and dating older men while their early-blooming counterparts nurse prom-night babies.

Also, I am being facetious to match the charming and slightly arrogant tone you use to mask your insecurity.

Again: chill out. If you want to attract your run-of-the-mill fifteen-year-old airhead, just act too cool for school, tell her she's pretty and special and then dump her for her friend with slightly bigger breasts. Otherwise, just be confident and comfortable with who you are.

No need to feel jealous. In a few years time none of this will matter.

Just keep being awesome and the person who you deserve -- and who deserves you, will come along.

[shoelover567]

From your description of yourself, I would think that there are plenty of girls who would be interested in you. First of all, if you are not approaching girls, this may be why you haven't had much luck. But if you are approaching girls and they are not interested, you may be approaching the wrong ones. If a girl thinks that she is "out of your league", she will not be interested. Maybe the girls you've been approaching are not attracted to your type. If you've known these girls at your school who aren't interested for a while, it could be that these girls have known you so long that they can't see you as a boyfriend because they've always seen you as just a friend or just a guy in their class. But if you flirt with them, you can make them see you as a boyfriend!

I can promise you that there are girls out there who would love to date you. Look for girls who would not consider themselves above you. (For example, don't go for the hottest girl in the room who is used to having guys all over her.) Approach girls and show confidence when you talk to them, this is a major turn-on for girls. Show that you are interested in what she has to say and show your good sense of humor. Also, do not approach too many girls in a short period of time because this either makes you look like a player or very desperate.

Good luck!

[shoelover567]

Another piece of advice: if there are any all-girl schools in your area, try your luck with girls that go there. Because they don't get to see many boys their age throughout the week, most of the girls from these schools are boy crazy and will date anything that walks and breathes.

[shoelover567]

Also go for the girls who don't have boyfriends very often. They will be more likely to be interested in you and appreciate you. Girls who are in relationships a lot are used to attention, have higher standards, and generally won't value you as much.

[bdeakol]

"I'm usually sarcastic or joking"

Could that possibly be the problem? I would say I'm in the same boat as you, kind of. I'm noticed but at the same time unnoticed (I don't know how that works)

Honestly over the years, I have realized people in high school or teenagers find me mean or bitchy. However I don't mean any harm either but I'm too sarcastic and sometimes my jokes can be cruel (I guess). Some find me hilarious but I guess most just assume I'm a bitch. Also according to a lot, I have a face that says "I think I'm the best" I have no idea what that means. Does it mean I'm attractive? No idea.

But I suppose, you can always try and approach girls? Yeah dumb advice. Never works. lol.

[Asker]

Eh, I use "usually" loosely. Just trying to point out that I'm not uptight, if that makes any sense. Thank yo, though :)

[Anonymous]

Actually I see this as a good trait to have. I am constantly embarrassed by people who seek attention at all costs, who are the same people who tend to have no insight into their childish behavior no matter how displeasing it is to others.

[Asker]

Could I ask which trait you are referring to?

[Opinion Owner]

Being unassuming, having modesty. Those are to me good traits.

If you are asking why you are not noticed by teenage girls - all I can say is that girls are cruel creatures, and 16 year olds especially so. They pick guys the same way as college football coaches pick starting players - you don't necessarily have to be productive or substantive, but if you are not tall, muscular enough, don't even think about making it to the big leagues. Not every team preaches the moneyball approach you know.

[jessjessxoxo]

Maybe they do notice you, but you don't notice them noticing you?

Or have you tried talking to girls yourself, instead of waiting for them to come up to you? Are you maybe a little shy? Sarcasm is rarely going to scare a girl away - some girls even like it.