He thinks I'm a snob, how do I change his perception of me?

[brookeyyy]

This guy I like isn't displaying the usual signs of interest. Recently I found out that he believes me to be a snob which I don't understand why. No one has ever called me a snob ever and I'd like to think I'm the complete opposite. I'm a very friendly person and try my best to treat everyone with respect. I want him to see me differently cause I know that he is actually attracted to me but the fact that he thinks I'm a snob has turned him off. How do I get him to see me differently? What do you think I should do?

[Prof_Don]

When I hear about someone being a snob...

...

...I think about someone who is very particular with things (to the point of being uptight), and displays her interests, or lack of interest in, various topics and scenarios, in a condescending and/or dismissive fashion, as if "my preference is better and yours suck", or "my preference is better than yours, and I am a better human being than you".

Self-reflect right now...do you consider yourself uptight or condescending at all? Do you think that how you are, from an outside perspective, makes you come off as uptight or condescending to other people?

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If the answer is no, than maybe you're just socially awkward and/or really painfully shy around him, and it comes off as being "snobby".

P.S. The only thing that *I* personally have to help understand you is our few awkward IM chats we've had, and to ME, I get how you can come off as snobby (but I don't think you are personally). But then again...less than 5 IM chat conversations isn't enough to accurately judge someone's character.

[marshnewb]

Try actually talking to him. Taking offense to being called a snob won't help your argument. Just talk to him and if you really aren't a snob he will see that.

[BeautifulMischief]

I've had experiences with guys judging me wrongly in the beginning (spoiled, snob, etc) and it just never turns out well. You sound like you like him so I'm sure when he was around you were on your best behavior yet he still passed harsh judgement and probably pretty quickly, do you really want someone like that? I'm just saying people who judge so harshly in the beginning tend to have blinders on through the rest of the relationship and it will seem no matter what you do to prove you're not what they think you are, all your actions will prove to them that you actually are what they first perceived you to be. You can't change someones way of thinking or their perception of you, sure you can do some nice things but the way the perceive it is entirely on them. It's too early to be having to feel you've got something to prove anyway, the first stages should be fun.

[firekitty]

I agree with this. People will judge you, sometimes the one you wish to impress most and sometimes there just isn't anything you can do about it. People will always see what they want to see. If he can't see how awesome you, then you know sucks for him because I'm sure you'll make a great girlfriend to some guy. Just have the attitude - plenty more fish in the sea.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

he's probably intimidated by you. if a guy thinks he couldn't get you, then he'll usually think you're snobby

if you care about this perception, make eye contact and smile at him. guys never think girls who give friendly smiles are snobby

[MasqueradeMassacre]

You should talk to him and find out why he feels this way. Otherwise nothing will change.

[Anonymous]

stop acting the way that you do