How do you feel about quiet people?

[Anonymous]

Why do people dislike quiet/shy people? I'm usually quiet until I get to know people better. I don't like making small talk much because I feel like that's useless conversation about minor simple observations and not meaningful.

[Anonymous]

It depends on what kind of quiet they are. I work with a guy who is pretty quiet, but he speaks up when he has something to say at work, and speaks confidently when asked questions. If you say "hey, how are you?" he doesn't act meek and mild, and he'll iniate a "hello" or "goodbye" during the day. I know he very friendly, nice, and confident despite him being quiet.

But there are other people who are painfully shy and quiet. Like an ex of mine. They never initiate conversation with anyone, they only speak when spoken to, and when they do speak, they seem insecure, rude and short. Trying to make conversation with them is like talking to a brick wall. They don't help you out and expect you to do all the work, and it's not very enjoyable.

It's hard speaking up and being friendly. It's hard initiating contact, and it's hard keeping conversation going. I still get a little red whenever I have to public speak. But I do it because I know it's important for my social interaction, and it makes me more enjoyable to be around. If others aren't willing to put in that effort, then they can't really blame others for not wanting to be around them or thinking negatively of them. They expect more of others than they do of themselves.

The funny thing is, most of the time, even quiet people prefer outgoing people. Because two quiet people would never meet or interact in the first place. They leave everything up to us. So if even quiet people need outgoing people, you've pretty much answered your own question as to why lots of people dislike the quiet ones. They're too much damn work.

[Asker]

Once they open up and talk theyre pretty nice people though, worth the time by a long shot.

[Opinion Owner]

I dated my ex for a year, and yeah he opened up with me, but was still a quiet jerk with all my family and friends. Even my roommates he saw everyday. Was not worth the time at all. I can get the same if not better communication with an outgoing person like myself. I say quiet people should stick together since you appreciate each other more.

[Anonymous]

I am the same way and people constantly ask me "do you talk!?" I am very close with my family, but that's because I care about them, most people I don't care about. So if they tell me about their life I'm like uh huh OK, I'll be forgetting this information as soon as we stop talking, lol. I do enjoy taking with people with similar interests... and having deep meaningful conversations... while drunk or high is even better... but in general I like to be alone, I wish I had friends but they are too much work to keep up.

[ja123]

The common misconceptio is that they are being arrogant because they aren't making conversation but people fail to realize that it's simply because they are timid.

For me,shy people tend to be more sweet,thoughtful and caring so once I get through the intitial barrier of striking up conversation with a shy person I usually tend to like them more than others.

[KingsOfleon88]

I guess people don't assume I'm shy, but I am. I also feel I need to be comfortable around someone when I'm just getting to know them, and yes odds are I'll say something stupid or weird, and people get the wrong impression...and then I analyze it in my head and I'm like wtf...But I know I'm not anywhere near perfect so I can't help people's judgments about me...I realize it's human nature and everyone is going to think something, can't be controlled.

[Anonymous]

I'm really quiet too, but my friends always try to get me to go out so I guess they don't like the fact that I'm not outgoing. It usually takes me a while to open up to people so I have very few friends. And the thing is I honestly don't know what to say when meeting new people besides the obvious, so small talk is very awkward for me.

[Asker]

I feel the same way.

[Opinion Owner]

well you're not alone. People always think quiet people have hidden agendas lol "it's always the quiet ones"

[Anonymous]

It's like a paradox for me: I usually have so much in common with quiet people and end up liking them a lot (especially if, like you, they don't like small talk), but unfortunately, their quietness can lead me to not even notice them. I'm a crappy conversation starter, so how would I start a conversation with a quiet person without resorting to small talk?

[LovelyLace]

I like people like that. I think the reason many people don't feel the same is because its harder to get to know them.

[05Jueey]

I think small talk shows interest and is a way for both parties to feel comfortable. My boyfriend is quiet so it's hard for me to be patient

[Anonymous]

how do you get to know new people if you don't talk to new people?

[Cottoncandydreams]

Can keep secrets better :P