Holding Hands means...

Question

So me and my friend had this discussion the other day about whether holding hands means that you are officially bf/gf. I told him that no it does not, and he insists that it does. As an example, I told him about this girl that I am dating where we always hold hands, however, we haven't really talked about being official bf/gf. He says that we are official bf/gf. I keep telling him, that this is one of the many reasons he drives girls away. Thoughts on this? Thanks in advance for any replies.

viva_glow · Accepted Answer

I think your friend is a bit deluded. He needs a reality check.

You can't establish whether you're boyfriend and girlfriend until you talk about it. Because even though you could both feel like you are, there's still a chance that it wouldn't be the case. Just as probable is the case where your friend thinks he's a girl's boyfriend, and that girl doesn't see him that way and doesn't want to be exclusive yet.

The problem with those labels is they imply exclusivity. And holding hands doesn't make you exclusive. Establishing you're exclusive makes you exclusive. And even sometimes it still might not mean you're boyfriend/girlfriend. Though that's not likely; usually both decisions come at once.

Tell your friend that holding hands is a physical gesture that helps establish closeness. But physical bonds don't mean emotional ones. Just as InquisitiveMale beautifully explained.

That said, there are people who date and don't really start holding hands until they're exclusive. But anything goes. Every relationship is different.

Rei02 · Accepted Answer

You cannot be officially boyfriend/girlfriend until both parts talk about it and both accept. It is like kissing, maybe you kiss her and she let you do it, but it is not going to be official until you put all the cards on the table.

Also, can holding hands be done by a family member or a friend?, when you want to talk about something serious?, when you want someone to pay you attention to what you want to say?

Some people take advantage of this gesture just to woo and flirt, like touching the hair, but these people have to put their feet on the earth and admit that that doesn't mean that there is a progress in the "relationship".

LilyB · Accepted Answer

Holding hands means, at least for me, that you are official. It shows your with another person. This is commonly seen for men with women, not so much thought of for women and women... although men and men it is assumed they are dating... I guess the reason for thinking I would only hold hands with a guy if I was with him, is because holding hands is a sign of being linked to someone. Of wanting people to see that you are together. Of course it also shows you like the person, feel comfortable ect.

InquisitiveMale · Accepted Answer

If sex doesn't make a couple official how would holding hands?

beastman88 · Accepted Answer

in my universe usually means dating or relationship 0.o

lettiejp · Answer

see this depends on the couple, the type of boundaries they have and the style they have. Some are very affectionate and love holding hands whereas others feel uncomfortable. It depends too if they have had a row or disagreement and subconcious issues. It's very hard to ascertain a relationshipby simply holding hands. usually it's kissing, hugs,touching and referring to the other in a loving romantic way such as "my partner" Sometimes it's hard to say. See the only way you are usually official is by how he displays other gestures too and confirms. Dating only you and no one else and not being on any dating sites and adding you on Facebook as "in a relationship" can be exclusive.

ManaX · Answer

Maybe he's the kind of guy who only holds hands with a girl if he's in a relationship hence is opinion in respect to himself would be true. But no I disagree, it's not just a boyfriend/girlfriend thing (it would work to show someone you like them). But I do feel like it's a little bit more intimate. I have had a guy a barely knew try to hold my hand before and I felt very uncomfortable. Didn't like it at all.

blondiedancer94 · Answer

I think that holding hands means that you just really care about each other and want everyone to see that. My best friend and I always hold hands just because we love each other (we're both girls; not lesbians) and it's no big deal. To others I'm sure it appears as if we were dating, but that's only from an outsider's perspective. So it's really based upon perspective.

Anonymous · Answer

I think it means that you're close to someone, but not necessarily dating. For a lot of people it means that they're dating the person, but not always. I've known some people who are just really affectionate with people they're close to and like holding hands, hugging, etc. even when they're just friends. Then there are people like me who don't like holding hands even when they are dating, so it varies from person to person.

Cormycakez · Answer

I think it depends on the couple. Some people consider the first kiss immediate affirmation of boyfriend/girlfriend some think its sex, most think its when you have 'the talk'

why-makoto-kun · Answer

Nah, it's just a form of affection. It does give people the impression you are in a relationship  though.

cyndiirella · Answer

I don't think holding hands means you are officially bf/gf, but I think it usually means that you both want to be if you both like to hold each others' hands a lot.

Eiffelgirl21 · Answer

no, holding hands does not mean you are officially bf/gf.. Seriously, no.  :-)

Catvshuman · Answer

I held hands with a couple boys I really liked but wasn't dating

e92brah · Answer

what are you 5? I'll grab a girls hand to let her know that I'll be licking the inside of her mouth soon

dazedandconfusedxo · Answer

I've held hands with just friends, my hookups, AND my significant others...so it could mean anything It won't be official until you guys talk about.

Racez · Answer

It really does not mean that you're official.

Yarah0 · Answer

That you like each other.

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