Girls competing for a guy's attention

[Anonymous]

Girls, have you ever been in a situation where another girl is competing for your crush? Three of you are mutual friends. Maybe you think you are closer to him and you feel like you have a chance but she is still trying anyway. Both of you have your own strong qualities. Neither really knows if he likes one more than the other. What can you do in this situation?

Guys, you may feedback too and share what would you do (e.g. enjoy the attention/cat fight)/who would you pick etc.

Give up. It's not worth the heartache or 'hard work'.

Fight for it. "Move out of my way bitch! He's mine!"

Improve/upgrade yourself and hope he sweetly chooses you.

[Anonymous]

Ooh nice question. Unfortunately I think I would give up .. might be my low self-esteem? Haha.

Actually I'm having a situation currently .. (stop reading if you don't want to hear me rant lol) I have a huge crush on this guy and we've gotten to know each other recently .. we've both told each other that we enjoy each others' company, we like each others' sense of humor and personalities ... but I've met his friends recently, and the girls are very obviously flirtsy with him--and a lot of them are very beautiful and pretty close to him (they study together, post cute links on Facebook, etc.). He's also the type who is very friendly and outgoing, and is a funny guy, making everyone laugh. My argument: he is being himself to me and doesn't think of me in that way .. and he has other girls, all who've known him for longer, are more pretty, and hang out with him more often.

[4rien]

Hey.. just want to thank you I found your comment because I've been googling others with similar experience.

I had a crush too on a guy at work who hangs out a lot with our mutual cute, sexy female colleague. They work together often. When we hang out at a bar after work she is the kind who dresses up attractively; she wears very short, revealing clothes, and high heels. Meanwhile I am the shy, boring, regular one. I don't hate on this woman though, as she is really friendly to everyone and hence approachable.

I guess it is just my insecurity and so sad to feel insecure over this kinda thing at this age. It seems like when we go out, they are inseparable (always seem like he is protective of her? He teases her, sits by her side, dances next to her, never leaves her side). Which was super confusing to me as he explicitly stated his interest in me in the few months before. I guess this all tells me more about the quality of guy I'm attracted to rather than what it tells about her or him.

I'm just sad that most heartbreaks always bring me to blame my own self. I guess it is the double edge sword of being too self aware / introspective.

[Anonymous]

I chose give up lol me and two of my other co workers at the time I didn't realize we were in a competition but wow did it turn out crazy. The guy would always walk with me and walk me to my car (this was in high school). This girl he went to school with was mad jealous over me and our other girl co worker always gave me nasty looks. I tried to walk away from him and let the other girls walk with him. Like I would let him walk with his school friend so I would walk behind them and he'd stop and wait for me it was so weird needless to say none of us ever dated him because I ended up rejecting him. I miss him like crazy now but he won't even speak to me and its been 5 yrs. so I guess I kinda fought for a guy

[Asker]

You had a chance but you chose to give up? I understand the part about not wanting to fight with other girls for a guy though but if I have a chance (which has got to be obvious on the guy's part or else I'd be confused) then I would fight for that chance :)

[Opinion Owner]

Ahh I didn't know what I had back then lol. That's the only way to put it. I can see his front door from my back yard it's weird but I'm never home so I don't pay any attention our developments are stacked on top of each other but we don't talk

[justbanANNAz]

i do not compete with other people for a guy. I believe that if a guy really wants me, he'll like me for who I am over someone else who is desperately trying to get his attention. I refuse to turn love into something that should be fought for. I'm all for staying true to myself.

love is earned, and if someone loves me, he'll choose me. its that simple=]<3

[Hey-you]

Depends on how the guy is taking it. If he's a sincere and nice person and not exploiting the situation, I'd say keep out of the whole debacle but improve yourself and hope he chooses you. Don't enter the competition because it's seriously not worth it. And don't fight over it because I think that implies you really need it which you definitely don't.

[Anonymous]

Most likely I wouldn't even notice what was going on. Guys are TERRIBLE at taking hints.

If I did notice, of course I would be flattered. The novelty would wear off pretty quickly though. If I liked one of them, I would ask her out. If I didn't like any of them, I wouldn't say anything unless one of them admitted her feelings to me, in which case I'd politely reject her.

[Opinion Owner]

There should really be an option between B and C. You shouldn't be aggressive and angry towards your 'competitors' (it's unattractive) but C seems a little too passive.

[Opinion Owner]

There's no shame in putting in effort to get the person you want. If there were, guys should feel ashamed for approaching girls.

[Asker]

Haha. Option B is just saying the girl should stand her ground where the other girl is concerned. I was just kidding about the cat fight scenario. Frankly, I'm more keen on girls grabbing their chance with the guy especially if she feels he could like her or showed some interest in her compared to the other girl. If however, the situation is reversed and he shows more interest in the other girl, that's when I think I'd give up or if he don't show anything to either.

[Opinion Owner]

That's a good way of doing things.

[Blankname1]

If you really want something you will be willing to fight for it.There are many ways to fight without using violence so I don't mean mortal kombat,so yeah if you really want it I feel you should fight for it,because you don't wanna live in regret

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

If you want something in life, you fight for it. Nice to see women are voting "give up" more than others atm. That's the problem with women these days. They often choose "give up"

[Asker]

Interesting isn't it? Exactly why I'm asking this question, to see how many women out there will give up or fight for it. While I understand the sentiment of giving up because girls feel that a guy should just know if he wants her and choose easily, I also feel that when a girl is not sure but suspect he likes her, she should fight for it. Not viciously of course. If he is worth it, why not fight for it is what I trying to say.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Girls are stupid like that.. guys shouldn't "just know" anything. Making assumptions is such a huge problem for anyone to do. And you gotta be assertive in life. That's a big reason for the pay difference, for that matter. Men are 8 times more likely to negotiate for a higher pay than women. That's a pretty big deal.

[Asker]

Interesting.

[Blankname1]

I agree with you TheGodEmperorLeto

[kairon156]

I would enjoy the attentsion but I don't like being put on the spot having to chose.

[Blankname1]

All that pressure

[lauramor]

I would choose b, and just don't do something catty or mean to get an advantage

[Anonymous]

Lmao no. I don't see why girls go to great lengths to get a boys attention. Is a guys attention really that important? No.

[Asker]

If you are close friends with this guy and you like him and you have awesome chemistry with him but its just that there's another friend who also likes him but he's nice to her but he's more keen on hanging out with you, would you still let go?

[Opinion Owner]

Yep

[dommage]

yes, we stopped talking because of that.