Why do I smirk when I tell people bad news?

[simpleandclean101]

Might be a dumb question, but here goes. I did it the other day, explaining why a co worker could not come into work was because her husband's brother passed. I found myself to be smirking almost. I don't know why I did, or do sometimes, but I think to myself that maybe something's wrong with me.

[Cromartie]

Where are you from? You see, your background might hold the key to that answer. In some societies smiling, laughing, or smirking / sneering are taught as gestures to delivering bad news. Now while it isn't seemingly "proper" it is meant to alter the atmosphere. Somewhat like how people laugh in the face of true damnation at the irony of life; so in essence you may have been overtly or covertly influenced to take on this particular behavior. This is esp. true if you do this consistently versus doing this only at certain aspects of bad news such as death.

[simpleandclean101]

Well, I'm from Boston. But I mean, I don't recall being taught to do that sort of thing when bad news come up. I don't think anyone in my family has done it either. I don't know where it comes from honestly.

[Cromartie]

I wonder if it's just something in the simple vicinity. People in larger cities have interesting ways of dealing with tragedy. I only suggest it's environmental / nurtured behavior because I do the same thing at times ( though not so often anymore ) where in the face of "bad" I smiled. However I did so because I was trying to lighten the mood / calm people down. Now I've learned to give horrible news with a straight calm face and cold uncaring eyes! Pretty good stuff.

[simpleandclean101]

Ah, I understand. I guess I should practice it, sometimes I think I've gone completely out of it. At least not I know I'm not the only one who does this. It's not a good feeling when you realized you've been smiling the whole time.

[Cromartie]

No, you do feel crazy when you're smiling and saying "Oh, and your face has cancer." as if it brings you some sadistic joy that someone's face has cancer. Really though I am almost sure it's partially in my absolutely obvious consoling nature. Maybe it's in your completely empathetic nature too. To fight off tears your brain smiles and increases the dopamine mix!

[simpleandclean101]

That sounds like it might be it, though I wasn't really sad. I just felt bad for my co worker.

[Cromartie]

Any negative feeling can trigger the reaction I believe.

[NitroBlade]

Have you ever been on camera and felt nervous? When I did small films with friends, and if I had to be on camera, all I could think was "don't be nervous, don't smile, be in the moment." What do I do? I smile nervously. :P

It sounds like it may just be that.

[simpleandclean101]

I guess, I don't know how to deliver bad news.

[ColdFeet]

Lol it's really bad but it's a normal human thing. We get uncomfortable around serious issues and nervous laughter or smirking happens. It happens to some more than others. Ever got a fit of giggles at a funeral as a kid...just too much pressure released as laughter but even funnier is that it's the worst thing you could do. Relax your human. You'll harden as you get older.

[neveryoumind]

You don't know how to handle the situation so you smirk cos of this. I read it on some psychology book. Some people become awkward when they hear bad news that they react to it in weird ways by making a chuckle or smirking when the news was recieved. but that doesn't mean that they were happy when they did this.

[simpleandclean101]

Yes, I'm thinking that I am supposed to be sad or serious, and I end up doing this. I guess that is the reason. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

LOL, I do this all the time! I don't mean to.. but I do it..!

If you find out why, let me know please because it sucks and it really needs to stop lol.

[quantumdefender]

under the circumstances, I can understand the smirk. yea it would be poor taste, but how often does someone actually get put on those situations. sometimes a situation is so bad, ya just gotta roll with it.

imagine what cops have to do when telling someone that a loved one died. having to stay professional. esp in some cases when cops find the body in awkward situations.

(think David carridine)

[palek]

You should've become a cancer specialist. Think of the fun you'd have!

[Ultima]

Well... it might be related, but sometimes when I see people get angry they have a smile on their face. maybe its like they don't want you to see they are affected by what the person said or did

[simpleandclean101]

Well anger I understand. I used to smile when I got angry, but this is sadness. So I don't want people to think I'm being insensitive or cold.

[kangaru]

I think you are used to it...