Men: what does it mean to put the ball in a woman's court?

[Anonymous]

I talked to this guy but I said ttyl and he said hmu when ever you want? I don't know is he putting the ball in my court?

[gingerrr]

It means that he did his part in letting you know that he is attracted to you so now it's up to you to decide where to take this relationship. If you like him ask him to hangout. Guys like when girls take initiative. Good luck! :)

[Asker]

How do I know he's attracted to me?

[gingerrr]

You'll know. Eye contact, smile, trying to impress you, touch & compliments (if he isn't shy), you'll see him looking away when you catch him staring and they tend to always be in your general area.

[Asker]

What's if he's far then? And I can't see him only text? And is a shirtless pic flirting too?

[gingerrr]

Just see how he responds to you. Yes, a shirtless pic is flirting!

[Asker]

He said hit him up lol

[gingerrr]

He wants you to initiate a hangout! If you like him go for it! :)

[Asker]

I do but he's far tho. So I don't know what to do in this case?

[Asker]

I do like Hm tho he's maybe 40 min away

[gingerrr]

40 minutes isn't far! I know people who date out of state. Go with what your gut is telling you.

[Anonymous]

He's putting the ball in your court because he doesn't want to assume responsibility.. Maybe find man who will ASSUME the responsibility.. you know, as a man or whatever?

[characterdeelaa]

I disagree there, it depends on the guy.

Some guys do it because they are shy or don't know what to say or do. So she's supposed to give up on a guy, because he didn't say the right thing?

The way I see it is if SHE makes plans and he follows through. And, she leaves the ball in his court for a 2nd meetup. Then that's a good test to see if he can assume responsibility... And if the can, then he will call her.contact her and take control.

Some guys find it harder to take control at first. Doesn't mean the guy is useless.

[Opinion Owner]

k .

[Asker]

What if he's maybe 1 he away or so maybe 1/2

[Opinion Owner]

K ?

[tornreality]

Maybe he wants to see if she will take the initiative, guys love it when girls show ambition.

But most girls don't like it when the tables are flipped lol...

[Asker]

Yes I never ever had this most if the time guys always right away want to hang out

[characterdeelaa]

I like how you just say "k"

Either shows you have no comeback, or it shut you up, or what you were talking about was bull shit.

Sorry if I am calling you out, but I'll do it since I don't like when people assume guys are a certain way.

Maybe your a very submission woman and so for you it's normally to find guys who take action. That's totally cool, but some awesome guys out there don't always do that... it doesn't mean they are horrible in any way. All women and men are different good and bad.

[characterdeelaa]

@tornreality

Yeah, but then why do women always say they are equal to guys then? So they can be all equal to guys in every other way except asking a guy out?

Talk about double standards.

I think no differently of a girl if she asks me or if I ask her. At the end of the day SOMEONE TOOK ACTION and that's all that matters.

[Opinion Owner]

I suppose I expect a man.. at least the men I'm attracted to.. to behave a certain way... otherwise.. I'll go find a chick.. if he's going to act like a chick.. JUST ME THOUGH.. K?

[tornreality]

No one said anything about acting like a chick, most men believe it or not like women that have confidence and ambition but a lot of women think that they are entitled to everything with 0 effort and no responsibility, which is very unattractive.

Your comment was very shallow and shows that you are the typical entitled woman that maybe the guy that put the ball in her court is watching out for.

[Opinion Owner]

You got me all figured out, bro.. for sure.

[Asker]

I'm a little lost I guess you all have diffrent points of views. :)
So then a guy is doing this to see if she's intrested in him... So he won't seem desperate and so she won't back off. ?
Yea like I said this is the first time this happens to me it's always the guys hmu or wanting to hang out or send them pics :/ but he did send one but yet didn't asked for one I don't know if that's normal? A shirtless selfie

[tornreality]

Yea probably that he might not want to come off as a creep, or maybe he just wants you too chase him lol. but could be plenty of other things aswell, if you like him just keep texting or talking to him, if he ignores you then maybe he's just a douche and that's when you move on :P

[Asker]

We'll he hasn't been ignoring me

[characterdeelaa]

GIrl where are you getting different point of views? We all (at least the guys) have told you everything. What more do you need to know. All you need to do is either take action or no action... simple as that!

[Asker]

Sorry I guess some of the statements are blue and some pink so I'm guessing link are girls but I guess not !

[Asker]

We'll annoynoys is pink

[characterdeelaa]

Ignore the girls pink comments, she has no idea what she is talking about and will screw you over. You got 2 point of views from GUYS, and were telling you from a guys mind. So trust me, take our advice and put it to good use. I wish you the best :)

[Asker]

Thanks so u think he wants me to make the decision if I'm interested in him?
That's why he sAid that? Don't think he could be intrested he send me a shirtless selfie we'll asked but I don't know that's why I'm saying I never had a guy be like this with me it's always them asking me out or stuff and they all want a pic of me but he didn't really do that so I was shocked when I got a pic like that even tho I asked I didn't know it would have been like that and I was even more shocked when he didn't want to hang out right away like every other guy or that he didn't ask for one back And I'm txting him after like 5 years that I haven't talked or seen eachother. His little sister was in band camp with me

[funkipunk]

Yeah, I'd say he wants you to take the next initiative.

And that's what he means by saying "putting the ball in a woman's court"

[Asker]

Why do guys do this tho?

[p0rtis26]

In my situation I did it because I was tired of always making the move or putting in all the effort. I wanted to see some action, not just words.

[Asker]

What if were far way then what's a good thing to do

[Asker]

Could a man that's let's say was with a girl for a long time maybe 4 years and got married and lasted a year together she left him be like this maybe unsure of my feelings for him? Or do u think he's afraid of rejection?

[funkipunk]

I think he's just a normal guy. After some time, it's kinda expected that the girl will make some sort of effort. The guy usually makes the initial effort, but after time, the woman should do so as well.

I think he's just a normal guy; his relationship history has no effect on what he's doing

[Asker]

If I like him should I tell him?

[funkipunk]

Actions speak louder than words. Don't tell him that you like him. Come up with something to show how much you like him

[Asker]

Like what would it be bad if I tell him if he likes me? I can't see him were apart.. So I can only so far message

[funkipunk]

You have to make a significant effort one way or another

[Asker]

Like what? Lol

[funkipunk]

C'mon man. This is on you...the ball is in your court! Don't you get it? You gotta figure this out!

[Asker]

I guess :/ haha

[Anonymous]

He's saying if your interest in me and us, then show it. In other words contact him or what ever so he knows you are also interested.

[Asker]

How do I make it seem like I'm intrested

[Opinion Owner]

ask him out. Send him a text to hang out. Be like hey do you want to have coffee. Or movies or w.e, I mean if you contact him to go out, then it's kind of obvious. After that ends, then you put the ball in his court and tell him you had a nice time and he should hit you up some time.

Then it's his turn to take control and make plans to contact you. And if he does, then you know he is into you.

[Asker]

What if he's a bit far like maybe 40 min away

[Opinion Owner]

So what? He can't drive to meet you up? Or you can't drive to meet him? Or both of you can't meet up at some halfway point?

There must be some mall or food place or SOMETHING, where it's kind of in the middle of both of you. And also you will get to see if he is willing to travel 40 mins to see you.

Unless I LIKE the girl or have feelings, I wouldn't travel that far for her. So he probably likes you at least a little to travel 40 mins for you.

[Asker]

Yea we'll in this case he has to I can't :/

[Opinion Owner]

Good, so see what he says. And, if he is willing to drive far for you. Then you know the guy must at least have some interest in you.

[SüßeJäger]

When I 'put the ball in her court' that means Im sick of the b.s. and its up to her to fix it. If she doesn't, that's fine too. Im not saying this is where you are, its just my perspective.

[Asker]

Why bs? So in other words we have to show intrest for you to be intrested?

[Asker]

Question why do guys do this? I had never had this before at all the guys I've messaged all either want to hang out ASAP and all want a pic. Nor send me one I did asked for a pic and he did send one a shirtless selfie I guess laying down

[SüßeJäger]

If someone doesn't show interest in me then I just don't waste my time pursuing, even if I am interested. What I mean by b.s. is games. I don't play games ever and I don't let them get played on me. Im sure the reason (s) why a guy would do this is different depending on the guy. I was just giving the reason I usually 'put the ball in her court.'

[Asker]

And how do I tell him that I'm intrested in him? Or how do I know if he's intrested in me he isn't flirting

[Asker]

He did send me a selfie but yet didn't ask for one b

[SüßeJäger]

I would just send him one of you anyway. I would think he would kinda be expecting one if he gave you one.

[Asker]

But I asked him for one but I didn't knew it wa going to be like this

[Asker]

And I did sent one not like that but he said I looked the same I gues do u think he didn't say anything cause I didn't compliment him? I said the same thing he told me

[SüßeJäger]

Maybe he was expecting something more provocative. Im not saying that's what you should do though. I would just try to have a convo with him.

[Asker]

I was having a conv with him at the end I said I'll talk later and he said to hit him up when Eva I want

[SüßeJäger]

that is a good thing. keep in contact with him and see where it leads.

[Asker]

How is it a good thing he told me to hit him up !! Why dosent he do it? -_- my sister Ashley tells me guys are suppose to do it

[SüßeJäger]

that's not necessarily true. some guys pursue and some don't. some, I would say most are somewhere in between. like myself, I do some pursuing but I want her to do some too so I know she is into me.

[Asker]

So then how is this good

[SüßeJäger]

if he said hit him up whenever, he could have said he has a gf or not to text him or just ignored you and not text back or anything. Is it the ideal situation? Prob not but you have your foot in the door. Just take it easy and keep in touch with him.

[Asker]

He's not with anyone he got out of a divorce about a year ago at least that's what I know

[Asker]

What do U mean is that a good thing that he said that?

[SüßeJäger]

I mean he could have said something worse or nothing at all and that would have been bad but this is not bad necessarily. Maybe he's scared to get too close to someone. I can't know all the possibilities but its not bad. Maybe you need to move on and see if he will come after you.

[Asker]

Oh ok I get you. If I do like somewhat have feelings what do I do

[Asker]

Should I tell him straight out I. This case text him? And tell him? It happend Whit some other guy and he just stopped talking to me he blocked me from fb but in that case I told him I didn't had feelings for him I was intrested at the same time I wasn't as much he had a baby and yet they both live in my old hometown

[Asker]

And he does reply back tho. But that's what I didn't get by him telling me to talk to him or text him !! Mostly all guys always do that to me or want to hang out right away or send them pics right Away as soon as we start talking.. Thy seem a bit desperate

[SüßeJäger]

its so hard to say cuz it depends on the guy and the situation. Maybe text him and just be honest and tell you like him and would like to do something sometime. If you don't at least try, you will never know.

[Asker]

Should I ask him if he could like me instead of me asking him and should I asked why he send me the pic?

[SüßeJäger]

yes that sounds like it would be a good way to approach him.

[Asker]

How should I tell him

[SüßeJäger]

maybe talk about his pic and ease into it. Send him a pic of you if you haven't and see what he says.

[Asker]

I did he told me the same thing I told him I why he send it? And kind of go into the topic as if he could like me?
See I'm a bit afraid cause the last time this happened some guy I do know but he's in my hometown and I'm like 40 min away we were talking and he said if i go down there we could hang out and go out he was flirting a lot with me so he had a baby and I did used to like him in HS but now I was happy that he was talking to me but at the same time I randomly joked if he would come see me and he said no. In a playfully matter so that made me think also he has a baby I don't want to have prob with his ex girl. So I felt bad and told him I didn't had feelings cause it was more than 3 years that I hvnt seen him he told me he was into me I was into him too but I told him the truth and he got upset or I don't know wht happnd but he stopped txting back and blocked me on fb. He did reply to my last message I told him we could hang out and i don't want the same thing to happe

[Dandeus]

It means the guy is trying to gauge the girl's interest by putting her in a position where she needs to take action rather than passively accepting whatever the guy does. He wants you to express interest without being prompted to do so, rather than just accepting his interest whenever he shows it.

[Asker]

What's prompted? Could u explain better :/

[Dandeus]

Prompted means being given a signal to do a thing. Basically what I mean is that a guy may feel like he's more interested than the girl because he's always the one who texts first, calls first, makes plans, etc. "Putting the ball in her court" means putting her in a position to see if she's interested enough to take the initiative to act instead of passively responding.

[Asker]

If I like the person do u think that's a good thing if he sayd to hit him up

[Dandeus]

Yes, and what he's doing is waiting to see if you actually do or if you're not interested enough to reach out to him.

[Asker]

So he could be intrested

[Metal189]

he's done his part, now its time to you yours

[Asker]

How do I know he did his part

[Metal189]

you won't. you just have to sort of figure it out

[Asker]

Did read the comm below?

[Anonymous]

Hand her your balls.