Polls

It is recommended that you not look at your smart devices two hours before you go to bed. The light from a phone or tablet can interfere with melatonin levels.

I have to admit that I am guilty of looking at my phone close to bedtime. What about you?

27F, I really have never had a relationship. I dated someone for maybe 3 months back when I was 23 & I felt like I was settling which is why I’m glad it ended. I never dated anyone after that, I’ve only met men through the dating apps bc I’m not a social person. I don’t get asked out in person other women seem to get attention so easily, I’m told I’m cute/attractive (not including female friends/family). I get attention from the dating apps, matches/msgs aren’t the issue it just never works out. I’ve always dealt with guys I’m not into liking me & the ones I like it either fizzles out or not reciprocated. After using the apps on and off over the years, I think I’m at the point where I feel I have to tell myself to be active on the apps, I’ve just kind of lost the desire haven’t been out with a guy in almost a year. I swipe on guys that liked my profile/reply to msgs every couple of days or so. Lack of sex drive may play a part but it’s not uncommon with women my age.

I choose me 😀😀😀

A guy I work with that I have known for years and I have always had a playful relationship. We banter, joke and pick on each other during breaks. He and I started a casual fling with the understanding it wouldn't be a serious thing and that it had to end if feelings were attached. So, we go on this way for months, never hanging out outside of work except for hook ups. Feelings grow. He acts jealous when I talk to other guys, he goes out of his way to make me jealous. He lights up when I walk into a room, this warm, glowing smile on his face. He goes out of his way to look out for me, and a couple of times he says love you to me as we get off the phone, quietly like he wants to make sure I cannot hear. He goes through days where he burns super hot and cold, nervous and jittery around me. When I first say it back finally, he seems happy or giddy about it. I say it a few times, only as we get off the phone. The last time, he seems nervous, and does something to intentionally make me jealous afterwards. I get up the courage to ask him if it bothers him that I told him I love him. He asks me why, and when I won't tell him right away he says I shouldn't and flips it on me, saying what we have was supposed to be casual and why did I allow myself to catch feelings? He keeps asking why I love him but then apologizes and says I don't owe him an explanation. I finally ask him if he feels the same and he says no, that he's sorry he led me to believe he did.

Do you think men or women are more likely to snoop and demand passwords?

My boyfriend said it is mostly a female habit and I disagree.

This is his message

“Im not coming up tonight. I’m not coming to talk when I have strong doubts it’s even going to work. Yes I get your points and they are valid but it’s keeping that same mentality during the relationship and that’s something we both struggle with for our own reasons. I’m staying at mine for definite this week. I firmly think it won’t work and I’d rather we had time apart and not just me come over then it’s like you said me jumping back into your house and things”

What does that even mean does he want to talk?

I just read her update on reddit:

https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/yozb12/my_husband_40_m_and_i_39_f_are_working_things_out/

- She cheats in 2002 with the guy's friend. She was 19 at the time. They were boyfriend and girlfriend.

- The guy forgives, she betters herself, hever cheated since, they get married later on and have 3 kids.

- 20 years later, this time the husband cheats with his co-worker but for different reasons, unrelated to her old cheating.

- The guy falls in love with his co-worker, he exchanges texts about traveling to Paris with her and leaving his kids, spends money on his affair (even steals and uses some of his wife's money) and takes his wife's meals and desserts to feed the woman

- Everything backfired in the end; his AP partner was using him for money. They're currently working things out. She's sounds upset on her post though.

Or other

In my apartment complex there is an elderly man fully competent who I know named David who has a pup. The pup everytime he sees me drags the owner in my direction which is fine. Yesterday I was on a very important call with family discussing personal matter. Upon being on the phone I had my uncle on speaker and was taking notes on my cellphone note pad. While I was doing that David could clearly see I was on the phone and typing. He still came over with his dog standing there while my family was discussing something personal. I figured David would take a hint but still kept saying my dog wants to see you. I told him, " I'm on the phone. A personal and important call." He said," okay , I'll go the other direction and left." I just thought it was rude and lack of common sense.

He does this when I'm parked in my car on the phone aswell. He will stand in front of my car saying his pup wants to see me. I've gotten to the point I just ignore and continue on my phone conversation

I tried something new. Soooo normally when I’m caught off guard by adversarial energy, I shut down and become very cold and mechanical saying nothing beyond what I’d be ready or I walk away.

But I think lately how most often anger is just frustration amplified by fear and how stuff I get and about is sweetly if every bc of sone deregulated onion about another person or bc I want to hold power over someone…

So when this lesson unexpectedly got and and yelled , which immediately triggered me but instead of shutting down, I paused smiled and said “if I do not get mad, or sad - bc I won’t I promise ✋🏼 will you tell me why you are upset?”

They actually calmed down and told me what the problem was! and it turned out it was miscommunication 😅 I’m totally going to employ this strategy more.

I normally avoid responding to people who I think are being disrespectful bc it seems like a feel weak position t more bad behavior by accommodating, but instead I felt very much in control kind & trust worthy. It was awesome 👏🏼

As a young mom I've had lots of people tell me that I'm missing out on my youth. This is something I just can't understand like what am I really missing out on?

Drinking, partying, college, being a hoe are the only things I can come up with. And honestly doesn't seem like much of a loss if that's all I'm missing out on.

If you are one of the people who "lived it up" in your 20s what did you spend that time doing?