Do you find it odd when people are like ‘I don’t think we should start something, let’s just be friends’— as if friendship is the simpler of the 2?

Question

I find it incredibly strange friendship is seen as a simple solution to not dating. Mist dating doesn’t go anywhere whereas friendship can’t last a life time. Yes obviously if you date then date seriously then get engaged then marry, that may last a lifetime too but you’re usually just doing that once.

It’s like bro if I want something “simple” I’d just have sex with you— friendship actually means something, it takes respect and care to want, effort to sustain & I don’t do it with just anyone 😳

& Yes, I realize many people use “friendship” as a euphemism for “nothing serious”, and I’m saying it’s an absurd euphemism. Just say ‘I rather just hang out sometimes’. Friendship is not “not dating” it’s in its own universe and I don't know it bugs me how much disrespect people give it lol

Also, don’t worry I’m not really bothered I just find it silly to use friendship as a default when it’s way more hard core than hooking up. in my opinion. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I understand what you are saying and don't disagree.

It's great to have friends. I will say this, though, I've had lots and lots of friends in my life, and almost all of them eventually faded out. I mean, life goes on, people get married and have kids or move away. Sometimes, interests and points of view diverge over time and they have less in common. You wind up only speaking occasionally or lose touch entirely.

I'll also say that I'd be looking for a lover. So if a girl just wanted to be friends, she would have to know that I was still dating other girls in search of a partner. I like girls for a reason.

If I was close friends with a women I found attractive, I'd want to deepen that friendship by becoming exclusive. Graduating to sex is the ultimate in mental, emotional and physical intimacy and commitment, and creates a deep bond. I'd rather engage in that kind of friendship with a woman and take my chances on possible heartbreak.

Guy13 · Accepted Answer

Can we be honest about “Just Be Friend” within a dating context for both male and female? Of course we men know that this Goto phrase of women essentially is a kind version of 🖕. Guys like myself actually appreciates the not wanting to hurt you gentile approach. 🤔 Okay-maybe you mean it but I will not be surprised if Contacts are placed on a DNR order (Do Not Resuscitate order).

Now for guys on a Thursday after practice showering and bantering before “the weekend starts” it means…”Nahhh man-I’m not talking she was swatted with the ugly switch… someone took the club out and clobbered that B-…. I mean it’s burned in ugly.-Skip a bag not even a cardboard box…definitely Just a Friend so keep your comments unless you want to meet her.

Typically 2 weeks to a month, one discovers whether it was both a GTFO and DNR order or Unattached Friendzzzz works for me too.

kitty71 · Accepted Answer

It is just like this male celeb who has as his BFF a woman for like more than 10 years. But this woman currently is dating (another person of course) but this mae celeb and this female celeb like many many years ago rumors said they had like a brief relationship but neither one confirmed or denied if there was something or not between them, but their actiosn confirmed otherwise., they only said they were very good and close friends. Public is not that dumb to believe that. And these BFF were recently spotted having dinner together and the lady still has boyfriend and dating her boyfriend, but the note sayd "these dinner was a BFF dinner and only that cause they are super close" Sure I buy that

BlueScorpio · Accepted Answer

Sometimes if someone isn't romantically interested in you, but thinks you great enough to be friends with they will say that. Other times is because the person is just trying to be cautious and thinks if you build a friendship first before a romantic one, then it will make rhe bond even greater. It also help them know that, that person is serious about them cause they know them on a deeper level before getting romantic.

This is how my parents started out. They grew up together, where friends at first and then became high-school sweethearts.

PhenomenalQueen · Answer

I agree with this because most people who’ve told me they only wanted to be friends, didn’t even truly seek a friendship. They wanted to hookup and keep things casual. So usually, I don’t pay attention to when men say this because I know that I’ll just ignore them and they’ll say away.. A majority of men will stop after you say, I’m not interested, but, there’s some who keep at it with the fake “friendship” thing.

Koefan4eva · Answer

I mean it’s usually a nice way to let someone down, but for me, if at one point we have romantic interest in each other and then something happens and it’s not glonna work out, I would just rather have no relationship moving forward unless maybe we occasionally see each other in passing and maybe smile or wave. For me, once I have those strong feelings, they don’t jjst go away, and I can’t torture myself in being “just friends”

FilmGuy93 · Answer

I'm right there with you; the concept of "just being friends" is incredibly stupid, especially because women's idea of being friends is often the furthest thing you imagine from an actual friendship.

It's usually more like low grade contempt where sometimes you calls you to ask for boy advice.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I AGREE!! THANK YOU!! 😅 Lol.

Also, the pre-dating phase isn't "just friends." It's "pre-dating." It's its own thing. It's an exploratory committee to gauge possibilities. (It's basically an intentional flirt.)

"Just friends" is when you're not into the other person. Lol

ZackBan · Answer

I never thought of it that way but you have a point.  A date is easy. A relationship is either good or it ends, very defined expectations.  Friendship is far more complex

loveslongnails · Answer

Generally speaking, I think people tend to use the word "friend" very lightly or interchange it with "acquaintance". In this case as you describe it, I agree - it's an absurd euphemism.

Makeushiver · Answer

It sounds like someone who is only interested in a platonic relationship. I personally find that behavior insane- in your case &npardon my making that point

Amarasimmons7 · Answer

It's not odd because sometimes you have more chemisty as friends than as partners. Also, sometimes you can be great friends with someone and not have any feelings, romantic feelings, towards them at all.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

It is stupid and you're only wasting precious time talking to someone who suggests that the both of you should be friends. You owe yourself that much respect to leave

__MisterGoneShiner__ · Answer

Mum: I uh, I think we should just be friends. Son: m... mother?

SnowedIn · Answer

You are right about this. Now all you have to do is package it in a book! :)

WhitneySnow · Answer

Friendship is easy if you’re a good person. Dating introduces a lot of complications.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

i had one girl say this after sex. it was crushing.

misogynistic_pig · Answer

Yes, why would you want a friendship with a woman?

Shark_61695 · Answer

I've been let down by friends far too often, don't feel they are worth the effort these days. Then again, I could do with some 😀

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Naa I do not think it’s odd

User3191989 · Answer

well, all a relationship is, is sex. essentially

AngryCarl · Answer

Which part of "you're friendzoned for life" didn't you understand?

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know I've never had this conversation.🤣

Andres77 · Answer

There’s less pressure from the beginning

pizzalovershouse · Answer

If it works to do it instead of date

Debbie14217 · Answer

being friends is easier

ChefPapiChulo · Answer

lmao

Do you find it odd when people are like ‘I don’t think we should start something, let’s just be friends’— as if friendship is the simpler of the 2?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do you find it odd when people are like ‘I don’t think we should start something, let’s just be friends’— as if friendship is the simpler of the 2?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.