Does "let's just be friends" actually mean friendship?

[Anonymous]

Not always, but most of the time when a woman or a guy says "let's just be friends", it doesn't mean an actual friendship where you two see each other as friends.

Usually, it's just a polite way of saying something like:

"I'm not interested in you, I don't think we are a match. I think we should gradually or immediately stop talking to each other and move on to other people."

Agree, disagree?

Yea

No

Updates

+1 y

ironically, most people on the comments agree while most people on the polls disagree

Updates

+1 y

oh, and this is not to say that people always lie when they say "lets be friends" and it never happens. sometimes they really mean it at that moment, but then when they go back to their own lives, they meet plenty of other people so they forget about you

Updates

+1 y

by the way, I think the polling is different than the comments because people answering the poll may misunderstand the question. I'm suggesting if a woman says "lets just be friends" that she's saying that she wants more than that. I'm saying that she wants even less than that.

[Anonymous]

I agree that they never actually want to be friends but not necessarily because they want to stop talking to you. I thought that it was a polite way of saying "I'm not interested" but my boyfriend said it because he was tired of the responsibilities of being in a relationship and overwhelmed then decided after about a month of us being "friends" and me casually dating someone else he realized that he wanted us to be together. He later admitted he said that so he could "keep an eye" on me. My friend said a similar thing to her boyfriend when she was done with him but just wanted to keep the physical part going.

So I think people only say that because they want to keep their options open in the future. They have ulterior motives physical or emotional ones, they never actually want to be regular friends, either they will eventually want you back for sex or a partnership or they just don't want you to hate them if they need a favor or something in the future. They never actually think you should be friends!

[RedSmartie]

I think "let's just be friends" is a way of making the person who is doing the dumping/rejection feel better about the situation. They may have the intention of being friends or they may not, but they say that so that they don't feel like a bad person. The best thing you can do is offer friendship, sometimes hoping it happens, but not really minding if the offer is thrown back in your face. It's cruel but true.

[Prof_Don]

read my answer, please

[pips1]

i still disagree you can still be a guys friend and mean it

[Megalove]

Generally, I agree with you. I recently did this. I thought, for some reason, it would make the break less difficult...now it just seems to be creating conflict because he still wants more, wants me. And I honestly, just do not anymore. This sucks and now makes me feel like kind of a bad person.

[Prof_Don]

The girls that say "lets just be friends" say that for the sake of HER feelings, so SHE doesn't feel bad about outright rejecting the guy.

Frankly, a direct rejection is BETTER for the guy, because the words are not misleading (vs. being told that we can be friends but is annoyed/bothered/creeped-out when he tries to converse and hang out with her).

There are probably PLENTY of times where girls have used this phony-ass "let's just be friends" line, the guy continues to befriend her...and has the NERVE to label him creepy or annoying.

All I have to say in response to those scenarios is...DONT LIE.

A lie is a lie no matter what demeanor and word choice you use for the falsified statement.

Girls...why not say what you mean, and mean what you say?

[Asker]

very true. and in general the best thing a guy can do is be laid back about it and judge by her actions rather than her words

[Colt40]

Im not that polite when I dump a woman,I tell her I'm not interested in her anymore, and then I just ask her if she wants me to drive her home? Usually its a yes, then I have to hear that terrible pouting that girls do when they don't get their way. And they constantly ask why, and was it something she said or done, and then they get extremely angry. That's when I drop them off at the house, then they yell at me as I drive away.

Women don't handle rejection when they are the spoiled little girls that always get what they want.

[sweet_18]

Yep, you're right. It doesn't actually mean friendship. It's like ironic because it's basically a way to say that you're being rejected but yet it's saying that you want to hang out. But yeah don't take it literally. It means plain and simple, "I'm not interested."

[Anonymous]

Usually, it means let's move on.

Occasionally, it means "let's be friends."

The main difference is how invested both people are in a romantic relationship. When neither of you are that interested, it's easier to stay friends. When one person is pining for the other, it's impossible.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends...most times a person saying "let's just be friends" is a way of turning someone without ever actually following through with the friendship part, but if they were good friends beforehand, odds are they'll still eventually be friends. I've been in similar situations.

[Yeahhbro]

Actually it usually means "i feel sorry for you that you like me and I don't, so I might as well be friends so I don't make you feel like crap since well he gives me attention anyways".

Baaaaam!

[KingsOfleon88]

Any time you hear those words it's usually a death sentence for the person receiving the words. Generally speaking, you are friend zoned, which means its highly unlikely you'll be anything more.

[Distant]

"Let's be friends" = "Stop talking to me". Except for those rare people who really mean it for some reason.

[Konnour]

Well... actually no.

It's just a polite way how she shuts down your advances, and no woman is that clueless not to realize that after that you're very likely to avoid her entirely.

[Logic_Hammer_Bear]

Since when is lying polite?

[Megalove]

LMAO! I was reading the question in the written area...not the headline question. We all look a tad silly, now.

[justme20]

"lets just be friends" means we can be cool but nothing will be more with us. we can still talk but that's as far as it will go

[Xx_DRE_xX]

Its GAME OVER in nice words basically, Id say just drop her and move on to the next best things you think is popping.

[Prof_Don]

thumb-up #2 for you, Dre

[Asker]

thumbs up as well

[jpinka]

agree! but if they say lets b friends 1st then c what happens, then you have a chance

[Anonymous]

Yes it just is a polite no, you can't be friends if one person likes you more than a friend, awkward!

[Logic_Hammer_Bear]

There is nothing polite about lying.

[QueenBeatris]

agreed..its a sugar coated rejection

[crazymuch]

I agree.i am very polite like that.

[pips1]

disagree

[Anonymous]

Sadly it's true