Girls: The Dish On Trust Guys: How True Is This?

[Anonymous]

I recently was in an argument with people I knew concerning trust. The argument was about if a male can have exes as friends or just girls as friends in general. A lot of the ladies said " If he's my man, I don't want any other girl interferring. What's mine is mine. " First of all, I thought this was completely absurd. I found this to be absurd more so, because I did not think it was right, that a guys girlfriend registered him as property. In a sense, it made me wonder where is the trust? In the olden days, cheating was never an issue,I'm sure it was heard of but most successful marriages had just that, "trust". They never worried who they married ,hardly ever second guessed and they just loved each other as a whole, through and through. Nowadays, it's almost difficult for a girl to keep a guy friend with needless drama getting in the way. So here's my take. Don't treat your man like he's property. "Because once you start treating him like property, he'll own you like a dog."

Let him go out and have fun, don't assume that he is loving someone other than you, he chose you in a whole sea of fish. He wants to be with you. Other girls shouldn't matter to him but you. And if he was capable of being "stolen" then let him go. None of his exes or his girl friends will ever compare to you. You should allow him to speak to who he is going to speak to, because at the end of the day, you are always in his arms anyways.

So what do you all think? Please leave your opinions.

[dartmaul15]

That shit is funny. Because from expreicne it's the GIRL who want to stay friends. And it's the gurls keeping guy friends around.

Yet girls get pissy if guys got girl friends (especially if they're exes).
That's why i ask how the girl would handle me being friends with an ex. Purely theoretical obviously. if she can't handle it, then it means a breakup is a de facto goodbye. If she can handle it, then i might be open to it if the breakup isn't too messy.

But bottom line i think it is ultimately because the one blaming the other is insecure. To take girls as an example; she's not letting him stay friends because SHE worries he'll cheat, she's not letting him have girl friends because SHE feels threatened by them. Yet you can't stop him from cheating if you want to, you can't controll ihm all the time.
So ultimately being extremely posessive serves nothing. because
1. if someone want to cheat, the person will manage to
2. being overly posessive/yealous can and will seem suffocating, and that can drive your partner away.

Disclaimer: i used girls as an example. It can afect both sexes.

[coldpieceofpizza]

I agree, I never understand why you would go out with someone if you can't even trust them to not cheat. Why would you date a potential cheater. And if you have trust issues that's your problem so you should be the one to work on that. Let your partner do what they want and if they cheat? Dump them!

[HookingSwan]

Hmm i have to say I completely agree.

If he had girl friends, I admit this would make me feel more insecure, but Id try to work around it. I know I can trust him.

Nd if He is able to b stolen, then good ridance! Means he was never truly yours.

U make a good point.

[Anonymous]

Well this concept of marrying for love is pretty odd, it was more often something of a business transaction. You still had respect for your spouse even if it was an arranged marriage, but it was fairly common, mostly amoung the upper class, to have a paramour that your spouse knew about and was just cool with.

Anyway, yeah that possessiveness isn't cool.

It seems wrong monopolizing someone's friendship, sexuality or love.

[Anonymous]

This would have been a great mytake until you brought up "the back in the day argument" you are 20. How do you you know that all men treated women a different way. Every generation has its jerks

[myTake Owner]

You're right, I do not have the right to bring up the "back in the day argument". I did not live in that generation, so I really do not know. I apologize if I have offended you on that matter, however, mytake still tries to demonstrate the simple fact that I believe it is truly unnecessary for a girl with a boyfriend to completely control who he speaks with, who he's friends with etc. She can hate the other person, but that is his choice and the girl should respect his choices and I brought this up due to the simple fact that a girl really shouldn't have to worry about him or anything he does. This is because it only brings drama into the picture, I believe that destroys a relationship little by little until it is non-existent. In my time, I have done the same thing with the men in my life and have realized what sense is that? If I love this man, then I should ultimately love who he chooses to be friends with irregardless.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not offended lol it's ok

[Octavius]

Cheating was done in the past. It was just easier to get away with because there were no cell phones or social media.

[hellionthesage]

It was but through out most of history it was very rare (comparative to now) because society did not tolerate it, unlike today. Currently if a woman cheats on her husband she or he can divorce, she gets alimony/childsupport and gets (usually) full custody of her children and most likely the house, society says it wasn't her fault she was being neglected. If he cheats on her, the same thing results and society tells him how worthless he is. In the past if a man cheated it was more tolerated because he rarely would leave his wife and there fore was still fullfilling his function as providor and protector. For women they would be stoned to death, have her nose cut off, or various other horrible things. She would be publicly shunned for her behavior (the man would be too, but it was admittedly less sever). The only diffrences now is there are no longer consequences for the action, especialy for women.