Why first impressions shouldn't matter

[BeSomethingDifferent]

I'm sure we've all felt like we made a bad impression. Maybe in a job interview, on a date, or approaching someone you're interested in. And we've all thought about it days, weeks, even years later. So why are they so important to us? Because we are so quick to come to conclusions about a person's character, and we know most everyone else is too.

After the first conversation we have already decided who they are, what their motives could be, and if we 'like them' or not. If you really think about it how shallow is our thinking? To judge a persons character in a matter of minutes and base our entire relationship on what our 'first impression' deems them to be! It's so very easy to do and so very hard to forget, and maybe it's just wishful thinking to hope that we can look beyond it.

But right now the point of this forty-five second conversation with you, my reader, is to convince you to give someone a second chance. I know they will appreciate it and you may find it to be the most rewarding relationship you could ever have. We are only human after all, and we all have bad days. Try another date with them, another chat about small things, and try to remember how nervous you are whenever you're hoping to make a 'good impression'.

Second chances were made for days like this.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

I don't know anyone who will base their entire relationship with someone based on a first impression alone. They are important though. A first impression doesn't mean the outcome, it just means the person has a better idea on how to approach you. My first impression on the guy before my boyfriend was that he was a thug, and guess what? He was a thug. My first impression on some girls I've met in high school were that they were mean nasty people. Guess what? They were mean and nasty people. When you observe people outside of their interactions with you it gives you a pretty clear view on the kind of person they are. When you interact with someone personally on a first time basis that's just them either pretending to be something they're not or doing a terrible job of showcasing themselves. You've got to watch someone when they aren't trying to impress you. Then you know what kind of person they are, good or bad.

[N192K001]

Reminds me of much-esteemed high-school teacher of mine who was both thought-provoking philosopher and a story-telling jokester (sometimes alternating, sometimes at the same time). He mentioned in passing to the class about the first encounter with this certain girl. I'm guessing one of his antics went horribly wrong, but all he mentioned was that her first impression of him was that he "was probably retarded." Today, she has been his wife of how many decades.

[Anonuser2020]

I have learned that when dating I will have a neutral approach to 1st impressions. Those 1st impressions can work both ways: bad impression, the person could turn out to be ok, good impression that person could be putting up a front. Recently I broke off my relationship w/my 1st boyfriend. When I 1st met him he seemed like a great guy. After about 5 months his real side started to show. I learned that he was not the ambitious, motivated person he made himself out to be, nor was he the caring/person he portrayed himself as. I tried to salvage the relationship, but he was not having that and blamed me. I walked away w/a totally broken heart and in the future I will take 1st impressions w/a grain of salt.

[AleDeEurope]

I wish they wouldn't matter cause I tend to give a negative first impression, don't know why :(
But the truth is that everyone values first impressions, even I do, it's just human nature, do we just gotta deal with that, but also try to give second chances.

[luvstoned4him]

true

[luvstoned4him]

I am pretty sure that I can't know all I have to know from just one encounter with someone so I would need to meet up again to access them. Yes , I too like the idea of second impressions tho and I sometimes wish I would get another but sometimes its always just the one you get. Still , I won't feel bad because I know somewhere out there , there is someone who will value my friendships, ideas and personality.

[LittleSally]

I get what you're saying, but I believe your intuition tells you what you need to know pretty fast - so first impressions - pretty darn important for self preservation for the people who have a good intuition.

[BigJake]

I've never been like the mindless fools who believe that first impressions are everything. It's hard to learn anything about a person in first meeting, or rather, it's hard to learn anything of any value.

[Albinoninja66]

You do realize that first impressions will always be critically judged? Everyone does this and everyone judges each other because it's how we veiw the person through our own eyes.

[Dandeus]

Totally pointless take. For better or worse, they do matter and always will matter, precisely because we ARE human. It's hardwired into us. Second chances can be given, but you should always strive for a good first impression.

[RedRain]

I agree that giving second chances can be necessary, since sometimes we're too nervous or not in our best days when we give that first impression.
Loved the topic, great mytake!

[Anonymous]

First impressions have never mattered towards me. Everytime i meet someone for the first time they think im very shy or quiet, but that second time around ill be screaming at you like its a normal thing haha

[timmy111]

I'm all for second chances.
Best relationship I ever had was someone gave me a second chance, so I will always repay the favour

[rjroy3]

This should just be summed up with, "First impressions shouldn't matter... but they do. So, moving on".

[PublicEnemyNumber-1]

First impressions are a way of seeing if you will mess up or not. If you do mes sup, then I will know that you are not perfect in any way and not date you.

[ElvenMr]

Cool, but she deleted me on facebook too, you tell me i should make another account and contact her? lol

Good thing, my first impression of her was good, after some stuff, not so good anymore.

/story

[Anonymous]

Fuck that. They won't be giving ME a second chance.

Retarded, naive, liberal idiocy.

Guess what? In the real world, you don't get second chances, so plan on making a good first. Don't like it? Too fucking bad.

[jjmarvin]

It's all about being mature. You don't want to date petulant people who "don't like the way you blink" or some inane shit like that

[COCOCHANEL]

one of the best lovers i ever had was very boring the first time we met. i'm very glad we both decided to give each other another chance ♡

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, they do. Good first dates, get you second ones and third ones etc.. it's all about the first impression

[Keyspirits]

I nvr thought or give too much thoughts about it so i could careless

[Anonymous]

Is it bad if I punch someone during a first impression?

[BeSomethingDifferent]

My brother punched someone because he made a joke that was offensive. But the guy said he was sorry and now they're good friends.

[Opinion Owner]

I suppose creating a blood bath is a bad first impression too.

[DeenaGupro]

halo effect, horn effect. i think first impressions are stupid, but then i still do make them.