My Idea of The Perfect Man

[Anonymous]

What is my idea of the perfect man? Who do I dream about when I'm staring off into space, completely zoning out of reality? What do I picture when those little wheels are turning inside of my head? Easy, I dream of someone who loves me for me and who I can love in return.

It shouldn't matter how many pounds he can lift, how much ink is on his skin, or how far his belly juts out, and to me it really doesn't. He simply has to be someone loving who will nurture me and who will allow me to give him the same treatment in return. I don't need an adonis as long as I have a man who I feel the need to take care of and who I can trust will take care of me as well.

I dream of a man who will wake up and hold me if I have a bad dream. I dream of a man who will eat my home cooked dinners with minimal complaints, although I'm not a great chef. Someone who tells the corniest jokes but for some reason it still makes me laugh. Someone who will look into my eyes and tell me how much he loves me and what he would do to make me happy. Someone who will watch our children with adoring eyes as they play on the swing set. Someone who will slow dance with me in the middle of our livingroom after an argument even though there's no music. I dream of a man who will love me, who will love our future family, through thick and thin.

I would never focus on your looks. All I need is someone who connects with me and who can make me smile and laugh. I wouldn't date a model if we had nothing in common or if I didn't feel that spark, just as I wouldn't reject an unattractive man who did have that spark. I love passionately and fiercely, so I need a man who can handle that and who will love me all the same.

I don't expect to only benefit from this, of course. I will give it my all to shower the person I love in adoration. I have a poet's heart and I just need to find the perfect string of words to tell you how much I love you. I'd stay up all night just to write you a love song, or to come up with a way to celebrate a special day together. I'll take care of the target of my affections to the best of my ability, and they will never feel alone. I'll make you feel loved annd accepted no matter who you are, whether we be friends or lovers. I will adore you for what glows on the inside, not what's toned on the outside. I expect the same treatment in return.

I believe that if you focus on looks your entire life, you will be left 40 years into the future with an unhappy relationship and a spouse with saggy skin and a wrinkled old face. You need to find a connection within, because it's much easier for someone's appearance to change than for their personality to change. I want to find that hypothetical spark. Make me smile often and you'll spark my interests, but make me laugh often and I'm putty in your hands.

My dream man isn't really a dream at all, he's set in reality, and I plan on finding him in my future if I haven't already.

[Anonymous]

I'm married, and my husband is the way you described.
He's not perfect, but he had all the raw materials when we first started. We've had to work on some things, but it's always progress that matters, not perfection.
Also please keep in mind that we human beings are made up of water and minerals, so we are not some abstract idea in a book or an image on a computer. So we need to eat, sleep, work, have fun, see the doctor, have a shelter over our heads and transportation under our feet. And those kids you mentioned, need all of the above PLUS all of your time and energy and lots of care. So watch out for the material sides of life too. Love isn't everything. We expect too much from it, and when it can't live up to our expectations, which is pretty natural, we get sadly disappointed and heartbroken and defeated.

[Titanic1912]

I miss the days at Camp Barnabas where I met my first love and I miss those days at Special Olympics where I met my second love. She and I knew each other during my freshman year of high school and she was in seventh grade! We fell in love urging her sophomore year and my senior year! She was my date for my senior prom and that's where we had our first kiss! I've got a photo of it. But we aren't together anymore! But that's okay! I'm crushing on a redheaded girl on this site right now and she's really beautiful!!! Any that girl should know who you are!!!

[joeb73]

you couldnt have said what you did any better. i think everyone wishes the same thing you do but regrettably we dont always find it. or the other person changes over time. i hope you do find the one in a million who will be your everything for ever and always.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LM7n9a4A6ig

[myTake Owner]

Thank you <3

[Anonymous]

In most cases that "spark" is sexual attraction. That attraction may not be his looks, but what is most often the most important part in creating that spark is going to be the ability turn the woman on sexually. That is something that you don't talk about at all.

Doing the things you said are the types of things the virgin nice guys do, before getting angry over it never working despite constantly being told it is what girls want. Those are the boring guys that don't know how to make the spark happen in the first place.

Sure you want a sweet romantic guy, but those are bonuses and have nothing to do with that spark. That spark is the most important part, and focusing on the least important parts will hurt a guys chances with most women.

[myTake Owner]

When it comes to sexual attraction, I don't get turned on by looks. I've watched plenty of "attractive" things to try and test my theory, but I've found that only touching has turned me on. I'm a "hands on" person, I'm not stimulated much by visuals

[Opinion Owner]

I didn't mean to imply that it was. Like I said, the attraction may not be his looks. I just know that the spark has nothing to do with the traits you listed, which is why "nice guys" get so confused and frustrated that women aren't attracted to them, when they follow all of the advice they keep being given by women. I know you didn't mean this list as a "how to" guide, but this is exactly the type of bad advice a lot of guys keep getting about how to get a girl to like them.

[myTake Owner]

This is supposed to be set into the future once I've already married the guy, I apologize if it seemed like anything else.

[Opinion Owner]

It isn't that. I can tell that wasn't your intention. It is just that this is exactly the type of advice guys get about how to get a woman interested in them. That is why you are getting so many guys leaving opinions claiming this doesn't work in real life. Guys are literally being told to do this sort of thing to attract women. That is why nice guys think women are suppose to fall for them just because they are nice.

[Psi_Unknown]

I agree that guys are being given high, impossible, or unrealistic expectations. I think expectations are there for men and women, though it may come out in different ways.

[fueledbythc]

Cute that you have such an imagination. You must be a teenage girl. Life will drag ya down with the rest of us. Where someone like me doesn't have that kind of optimism when trying to find a partner. I've gone way past giving up because I know no woman would ever want to be with a person like me once they get to know me. And I'm fine with it. Plus I am quite ugly inside and out. It's beyond acceptance as my acceptance turned into convincing myaelf that i to want of be single and alone. Maybe it's just me protecting myself from loneliness and sadness but hey, it's working. Plus the copious amounts of thc and booze keeps my mind off love and romance. Trust me I may say I don't want to find a girl and say fuck marriage but the truth is that I do want it. I wish I could be as optimistic about you on this subject but the reality is that I can't due to my physical looks and my personality. There's nobody for me. And I'm here for no one.

[MasterofPlebs]

Um... 7 billion people dude. You're just going about it the wrong way and then you're just self-fulfilling prophecy. You need to be flexible and adaptable or you won't succeed.

[fueledbythc]

@MasterofPlebs well I have a mentality that if I really went out of my way, I could get a girlfriend. Maybe that's just false hope on my part too. I also believe that love isn't something you search for but love will find you at the most unexpected times. And if I want to date a girl, we would have to have a solid friendship first before dating. And I'm not exactly a person who can befriend women easily. I've tried. But maybe I should go at it differently if I really want a girlfriend.

[MasterofPlebs]

To me it's all probability.

[GuyWannaHelp]

Thank you for sharing this, it is well written!

I personally like to catch a glimpse of what girls actually look for in a man. It gives me an idea of what (some) girls are looking for in a man. Reading the third paragraph makes me think I would be a pretty decent fit to that image. Maybe I am being too naive in that assumption.
Whatever the case may be, I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you :)

[Psi_Unknown]

I actually like this original post, but it sounds idealistic. It even reminds me of me in a lot of ways. I hate to be an ageist, but it might have something to do with age. Reality is different than what one wants it to be, what it can be, and what it should be.

[cth96190]

What @lexythelou22 wrote is typically what young women say that they want, but watch who they pick in the real world.
They pick the player, or some version of the sociopathic bad boy, who is the polar opposite of what they say that they want.
Ignore everything that women say, watch what they do.

[myTake Owner]

Wow, so many men here follow the memes these days. I'm not going to purposely go out with a guy who will hurt me, I choose the nice guy who treats me well, unless he's a boring kiss ass. Lonely, immature 12 year old girls and lonely virgin 20 year old women with repressed sexual tension choose the asshole bad boy type, no mature person chooses that. You have the wrong impression, possibly from experience?

[cth96190]

Very much from experience.
I spent my teens and 20s almost unable to get a date, while I watched girls throw themselves at dirtbags who treated them like shit.
My view is the result of observing demonstrated female preference.

[myTake Owner]

If your age is correct then perhaps your experience isn't realistically based in this day and age. In 10+ year old movies it seems to be an ongoing theme that the nice guy is a loser. I was young at the time, definitely not in the dating life, so I can't tell you how your experience was set. However, I haven't seen this theme play out in person unless the female was the spoiled type who liked male attention. It isn't the average young woman who will pull bs like this, and definitely not something that I would do, and not something I would put up with if a friend of mine were trying to do so simply to keep an innocent man on a leash.

[cth96190]

Yes, my age is correct. - lol
I believe that my experience is also typical of what happens today. I base that view on the multitude of comments by young men on mainly MGTOW videos on YouTube and what I have observed happening around me.
I also have two sons who are in that phase of their life; and I have had the unhappy experience of watching my own daughter go through the scumbag stage.
I have changed careers and now I spend most days on a university campus. Observing and interacting with the young men on campus, I would say that the majority of the decent young fellows have the same complaint.
The bad-boy phase begins about age 15 and usually fades out age 25-30.
The young women will offer a wish list that is similar to yours, but they will reject that sort of young man and choose the company of players and sociopaths.
I suspect that this is because of the process of neural rewiring that begins at puberty and ends about age 25.

[martian12345]

I have to kinda agree with cth96190, her myTake sounds abit too good to be true.
If she is truly honest, then I will call her one a million.

[BullyDawg]

Luv it! You have a romantic heart and I pray your souls desire treats you like his god sent for it really will be living the fairytale. Hugz may all your dreams come true.💘🌹🍀🍀🐶🍀🍀🌹💜💜

[myTake Owner]

You're so sweet, thank you <3

[BullyDawg]

You are very welcome. hugz!🍀🐶🍀🌹

[Spiorad_Aisce]

Nice take - Looks like someone had a romantic daydream - I hope you find someone close to that - Good luck - Great point about looks and personality.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you :)

[Tarvold]

Boys... read this very carefully right here.

It is the perfect recipe on how not to get the girl, and how to be irresistible to women if you do exactly the opposite.

[myTake Owner]

You sound like an angry virgin.

[Tarvold]

Lol... you must be new around here

[Nik1hil]

Dude you are right!.. But she is young and pure as the early dew... And I really wish she says like that for eternity that a real beauty of women...
But yeah in a world filled with strumpets, and gold diggers and materialistic hoes... .. Her 'my take' will fail but I really like it..

[Anonymous]

I am your perfect man. I do lift, I do have much ink, I am university educated (two degrees) and I listen to metal (and much more qualities you would love and admire). Too bad you aren't my perfect girl :( sorry babe. However I do believe there is more than one perfect match, they just span out to different kinds of lives. We are adaptable and you can be one of many people in your future, all of which may or may not be happy and in love. Good luck.

[GuyWannaHelp]

I find it rather backwards that you claim to be her perfect man, but also that she is not your perfect girl. If that is the case, why do you feel the need to share this? Saying sorry for this fact is patronizing at best.

[Opinion Owner]

@GuyWannaHelp That is why. Thanks for recognizing that and also pointing it out, cheers mate.

[Opinion Owner]

@GuyWannaHelp I also think she realized I was being slightly sarcastic with that point as she is already in a relationship, and since we know nothing about each other neither me being perfect for her, nor her being perfect for me could possibly be known to either of us. Dunce cap awarded to you.

[myTake Owner]

How do lifting, having tattoos, and listening to metal make you my perfect man? Those are pretty irrelevant

[Opinion Owner]

Well, to start, I did say "and many more," but moreover, I would bet my life that had you the choice, you would like those qualities.

[Riggers]

Shame people like you dont exist in the real world.

[Anonymous]

I feel like I'd be a good boyfriend, but I'm not sure if I'll be given a chance.

[myTake Owner]

Why wouldn't you?

[Opinion Owner]

She's a senior and I'm a sophomore. We don't know each other that well, but I'm gonna ask her today if she'd like to hangout at break and maybe we can talk and get to know each other better. What do you think?

[myTake Owner]

Sounds like a good plan, the worst she could say is no.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, we will see what happens :-)

[myTake Owner]

Keep me updated?

[Opinion Owner]

Sure :-) Because I don't have her number and I don't see her around campus often I'm gonna use Twitter DM, Im gonna say I've noticed her around campus often recently and I think she's very pretty and wondered if we could et to know each other better and hangout on Monday during break.

What do you think?

[myTake Owner]

I'm not much help here, I have no experience with dating xD I would like a message like that personally though, so go ahead :)

[Opinion Owner]

Alrighty then, I pray she says yes :-)

Thanks!

[Opinion Owner]

@lexythelou22

I texted her last night asking her if I could ask her a quick question, she said "Yeah sure, what's up?"

Then I sent her the text that I showed you that I'd send, but unfortunately she hasn't replied. It's been about 8 hours. How come she didn't simply say no?

[myTake Owner]

There could be a few reasons
-Maybe she hasn't seen it (I hope it's that one, I like happy endings.)
-Perhaps she's interested but shy (Also hoping for that one, still kind of a happy ending!)
-She could be uninterested but not wanting to hurt your feelings
-She could be uninterested and used to guys hitting on her so she's learned to ignore it

I'm sorry you haven't gotten a reply yet, if she doesn't say yes then try try again with someone else, I'm sure you'll succeed with someone you care about eventually!

[Opinion Owner]

Well then this morning her best friend whom I know quite well favorited one of my tweets from last week, so I assume they discussed it. Does this tell you anything?

[myTake Owner]

Not really, I'm far from understanding teenagers and their weird ass behavior. We're a whole new species of weird.

[Opinion Owner]

Alrighty, well I guess I just either wait or I don't know. Don't know what to do now, I was hoping her and I could've been able to work something out, because now I'm kinda lost haha.

I sure hope she is still thinking of it, but perhaps maybe not. Who knows.

Thanks for your help! :-)

[Mustachekitteh]

That bed in the picture is WAY to small!

Looks are the same level of importance along with their personality and sex drive. You need a balance of all 3 to have a successful relationship.

[Anonymous]

All these lists of "the perfect man", and here I am just wanting one to look past my shyness and acknowledge my existence ahhhhh. 😭

[Psi_Unknown]

Aw, don't be sad, I see you there! *waves hand*

[CoolSky01]

except... this doesn't work , everything you listen is nice and great and sweet but thats far from the truth, iam yet to see a woman fall for such a guy.

[AdamThomas]

Slow dancing to no music after an argument? Why?

[GuyWannaHelp]

It is romantic. As to why it is romantic, that is difficult to explain.

[myTake Owner]

It's sort of like a symbol for "I will love you no matter the circumstances", just because there's no music playing, it won't stop us from dancing together and enjoying each others company

[truthhammer]

woman rarely know what they want.

they respond to emotions and men can control these emotions by ruling his own

[Psi_Unknown]

I do partially agree with this. I am guilty of this as well, so I am not out to blame or convict anyone. How does anyone REALLY know what they want with absolute certainty?

[truthhammer]

@Psi_Unknown being true to your self is very, very hard.

[Psi_Unknown]

Strong point!

[YourFutureEx]

Users here make me smile sometimes.

[skeptic007]

i want teen love again lol

[Prince_teddy4u]

Thanks for sharing me...