“Humans Are Not Monogamous”

[Anonymous]

Scientific studies are attempting to conclude that humans are not naturally monogamous. It is something society has conditioned us into believing. But I’m beginning to think the opposite, and here’s why.

1. That destroys the whole theory of men being the ‘Hunter-Gatherers’.

This theory is that in pre-historic times, when humans didn’t behave to a strict society, the women stayed at home looking after the children and the men went out to hunt. Claiming that humans are naturally polyamorous would destroy this theory. This means that women would fend for themselves and their children, not having a male partner to help them with food.

2. Jealously when you’re in a romantic relationship would not exist.

If humans were not meant to be monogamous, jealously within a romantic relationship would not exist. For example, a man is with his girlfriend, and he cheats on her with another woman. This causes much stress, hurt and insecurity to the woman. Why? Because he has betrayed her trust.

If humans were not monogamous, the man or woman would not get jealous to see their romantic partner with another. Much like how it is with animals.

3. Tribal marriages.

There are many tribes with little to no experience of the ‘outside world’. And yet, they still perform marriage rituals and ceremonies, and many find one partner within their tribe to marry. So if all humans are not meant to be monogamous, and this was society brainwashing us, then why would these marriages occur? And why have marriages always been prevalent in most cultures?

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These are just three reasons why I believe men and women can be monogamous. I believe personally that those who cheat and are unsatisfied with their partner, were never truly satisfied in the first place when they began their relationship.

Please feel free to leave leave your comments and opinions below ~

[little_bird1]

Monogamy is socially invented for ownership. Because ownership creates order in society. With so many people in the world, without order and ownership, there would be a chaos. People needed to be grouped, and therefore marriage and families were created. Same with money, genders, etc. - they are all invention of society inventions. And since patriarchy was ruling, women were forbidden to be with other men. Only after women outfought the laws and got their rights did men forced to be monogamous as well (because equality). So new laws and rules were given, and also religion played a huge part as well. And living by these rules, laws and believes centuries, manipulated humans into believing it's natural. It's NOT natural. Biologically, humans are NOT monogamous. Never were and never will be. And it makes no sense to be, from mother's nature point of view. Humans simply outsmarted nature. Jealousy is a fake feeling, implemented in our brains by society, not by nature. You have no idea how much power society and agreement of majority has over us. It's a typical brainwash. Monogamy only worked for awhile because people didn't have so much options for awhile, but I honestly believe that modern society is leading back to polygamy because we now have a lot of options, tools and information to be independed. Monogamy is not needed to keep order and balance anymore. No one should have the right to tell you what's wrong and what's not, especially when it comes to sexuality. Monogamy should be an agreement between partners based on their feelings, not because there's some invented fake rule that polygamy is wrong. Feelings have nothing to do with it. If you were in a loving relationship with someone, not knowing that they sleep with others, nothing would change. It only changes when you find out, because society has brainwashed you that it's wrong. So, sorry, but I disagree with this MyTake. Do some more research, I recommend a great book "Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind* by Yuval Noah Harari.

[SaintJonesy]

1) Humans lived in groups, so men and women hunted and gathered in groups. It wasn't just one man and one woman fending for themselves and their children, it was a group of like 80-150 people all working together to survive. In the earliest hunter gatherer societies, it was believed that the human beings were largely polyamorous. However most of the males didn't breed at all, because the women, when given the choice, just shared the biggest and strongest like top third of men among themselves. This is evidenced by the relative lack of genetic diversity in the Y-chromosome. So humans are supposed to be polyamorous. A few men are supposed to provide all the women with children who will then be raised by the tribe as a whole, probably having no concept of who their father was, why pregnancy happens or past a certain point, language itself. The females of the entire sexually dimorphic animal kingdom have males present themselves before them and pick the best option. The males who are the best options generally have a lot of partners because of this. Humans are polyamorous and at least half of men, being below average will never find love. We need to start preparing young boys for this reality.

[Anon-ymous1]

Mmm... no.
People gathered food because you have to feed your tribe/family. The existence of a family doesn't mean a guy doesn't want... more families. Jealousy wouldn't exist? Dude girls get jealous because they're upset about guys' natural desires to fuck other girls, and guys get jealous because they're mad that their girls (who they want to sexually own, hence the whole girl-calling-their-guy-daddy-or-sir-or-whatever thing) say they won't accept the status of being their only one. And tribal marriages? Having the overwhelming majority of humanity want a thing doesn't mean that each and every human society on the planet will also want that thing.

[Logorithim]

Good points, but how do we explain cheating then? I support the Selfish Gene hypothesis

[Jquesi]

😂😂 I didn't think there was a theory out there, it makes sense to me though.

[Logorithim]

Yeah, in Richard Dawkins' book "The Selfish Gene"

[front2back]

The reason humans have been able to survive and THRIVE so well in a world, where our only strength is our smarts, is BECAUSE of monogamy. Normal animals abandon their young sometimes after only a couple weeks to a couple years at most. That is not a lot of time to fully develop to adulthood. Humans care for their young until teenage to early adult years. This extra time allows the body to grow slower, and thus spend more energy developing our brains. This allows us to continue growing smarter, and as adults use our intelligence to expand our environment and improve. So how can a human take nearly 20 years to become a full adult and still be cared for that whole time? It is because two adult human parents put in the time and energy to raise their young. It is easier to raise young and turns out better for youth when they have two parents. More resources and more time caring for them. Not only that, but humans *also* have grandparents and aunts/uncles, who all combine to also watch and build the young. This natural investment in our young, especially over multiple generations, proves humans best thrive in monogamous relationships. It is best for our youth.
Go ahead and look up the statistics of how much worse children raised in single parent or divorced households wind up. That is what happens to children without two loving, dedicated parents.

[weysally]

the part of animals is wrong, all that does is revert back to the strongest gets the female, men are still like that in some ways that is why fights still break over women, and also all species of animal the female wants the best genes for their off spring, and will try and get another male to mate with her, humans are not far off being the same,
the only thing basically that the human male has lost is the ability to sniff the air to see which female is ready, my husband says that is the only reason some males sniff panties its still there but reduced one hell of a lot

[nalaa]

Totally agree that the whole humans are not monogamous is BS.
I do believe that sexuality is more fluid than what maybe the church would have you believe. More than polygamous or monogamous, we're survivors, we will put up with a lot if it means passing on our genes. But monogamy seems to be the default again and again.
And as you said every culture in world came up with the idea of marriage or pair bonding at some point. Are they all wrong?

[ConnieS]

But a lot of guys expect women to be monogamous and often get royally ticked off if we're not. At the same time, a lot of guys want their "cake and eat it too". In other words, they want to be able to "play the field" - have more than one girlfriend, have a mistress while being married, etc. It's too one-sided.
If women have to be monogamous, so should men.

[eden94]

I think there are different ways of looking at it.
There is the more religious point of view which for me personally does come on a bit strong. I do believe our relationships are more fluid than just spending your life with 1 person. But if we didn't have something like that then I think our society wouldn't function as well. I mean imagine if you could just run around and make babies with whoever you wanted.

[AuroraRoseat]

There are papers written about how humans are not monogamous. But if it works for some people, that's fine. If it doesn't work, that's cool too. I do think polygamy is pretty interesting but wouldn't indulge myself.

[madhatters4]

hunting and gathering had nothing to do with being monogamous or polygamist

people can still be jealous even if you are practice polyamory or polygamy

i really don't see how science can prove how a person feels

[Jack_L_andTurn]

"Humans are not monogamous" is a battle cry of unfaithful spouses who lack the integrity to keep their promises.

[DeVille_]

Polyamory is commonly used in cults, but if there's a healthy poly relationship I see nothing wrong with it, it's just not personally my thing

[Anonymous]

Women fending for themselves and their children in prehistoric times?
Yeah, not so much. It wreaks of feminist revisionist history.

[dipta]

Or you read it wrong.

[Opinion Owner]

@dipta Not sure what I would have read wrong. The quote was "This theory is that in pre-historic times, when humans didn’t behave to a strict society, the women stayed at home looking after the children and the men went out to hunt. Claiming that humans are naturally polyamorous would destroy this theory. This means that women would fend for themselves and their children, not having a male partner to help them with food."

Can you point me to what I read wrong, please?

[zagor]

You did read it wrong. She is saying that did not happen, which supports her point.

[Opinion Owner]

@zagor Exactly... I was agreeing with her. You read my post wrong.

[Kingkennys]

there are also polygamous tribes.

and who says in hunter garther societies, only men hunted? we just dont know.

this argument is pretty base, since nobody knows for sure. nobody can know

[Jquesi]

I concur with your reasons. Excellent take.

[Wifflesnoofer63]

Monogamy worked when the average lifespan was 30.

[Anonymous]

stop making excuses for why my ex cheated on me!

[Anonymous]

Woah