"Men aren't meant to be monogamous, it's not in their nature"...True statement or bull excuse?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

This Mytake was originally meant to be posted as a question based off a recent conversation I had with someone(if you can call it that 🙄) (I've also seen some guys say that on here) I realize there's points I want to make, I wasn't allowed to in that "conversation" ..

My first point/ statement/question was/would be:

"If you "know" you're incapable of being monogomous, why enter into a monogomous relationship, make promises you don't intend to, are incapable of keeping"...

Of course, I got no answer to that question, but then I suspect I already know the answer:

It's far easier to find people to fall for your lies than it is to find people that will agree to that arrangement..

Which brings us to my first point..

It's not if you believe in monogomy or don't believe that's the issue to me .

The issue comes in when you're not upfront or honest about it from the get go. Deceiving someone about your true nature, true intentions isn't okay just because you know you may find less partners willing to agree, accept that.

Not only is not fair to them, to play with their feelings, their heart, their life; it's not fair to yourself because the only way you'll get the partner/partners that suits you and your lifestyle best is to be upfront and honest about what you're really looking for/want in a partner and a relationship. Trying to force your lifestyle on others that don't believe in that lifestyle based off lies and deception is never okay.

The second statement/ point/question I would of made/had would of been:

"It's not always just men that don't believe in monogomy, there's also women that also don't believe in/want a monogomous relationship"

The problem with that is, some men that say it's not in men's nature to be monogomous, 1-will also be the same men to expect their partner to be monogomous even when they themselves aren't. Or 2- the first ones calling women sluts for having multiple partners while excusing/condoning men who do the same..

"Why not excuse it for everyone, instead of the it's not in a "man's nature" why not say it's not "human nature"❓

While it may be human nature to get attraction, urges, temptation it can also be human nature to not act on, resist it ..

We can resist other urges, habits we know aren't good for us, but not sex with others if you know it will destroy a person you say you care about or love or the relationship with that person❓

Which brings me to my next point/My opinion/my beliefs...

"Monogomy shouldn't be seen as a negative expectation or unfair rule .."

To me, being faithful/monogomous is an expression of the true love you have for someone, the knowing you don't need to look for anything else, because you realize you already have everything you want in your spouse/ partner and noone or nothing is worth losing the risk of a lifetime of what you already have/ cherish for one night of sex.

And lastly, this ties into my point from the get go...

Know what you really want..

"What's more important to you❓ Sex with multiple people to prove your value or worth because you believe it makes you look more macho/manly, more of a success to say you can get, have had multiple women/men❓(whereas I value success more not by how many you can get, how many of "quality" were you able to "keep") Or that one person that will love you, accept you, be with you through anything❓

But don't just know what you want, be honest about it, both to yourself and to your potential partners. Wanting different things, having different values/beliefs doesn't make one person right and one person wrong, just means they're the wrong person for each other .. You become wrong when you lie, deceive, cheat, justify to have things your way only, not caring or thinking of anyone but yourself.. And that goes for whether it's a man doing it to women, or a woman doing it to men . Wrong is wrong, neither gender gets a pass ..

People, don't expect or demand from others what you're not prepared to offer/give of yourself as well...

As always, thanks for reading💛

"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘🤗

[caring__1]

There will always be guys who feel they're offering stud service, and their goal is to do all in their power to diversify the species. If it wasn't in men's nature to be monogamous, these guys would be in the majority, and that's not the case. I'm not saying monogamy is in anyone's nature, either. We are socialized, indoctrinated and create our own preferences, but everyone is unique. It is impossible to lump any particular group together and get more than possible patterns, not a definitive prediction of any particular individual. It's interesting how many posts here state that all men cheat. Even if there are some who do cheat, aren't they generally cheating with women, making it a choice between two people?

Commitment to one will always have greater potential for depth in the relationship. Some people like deep and meaningful, while others want to play it safe by keeping everything superficial. The less investment, the less potential loss. The investment takes time, energy and other resources. Not only does the cost increase as more individuals are involved, the emotional connection is also diluted. It all boils down to discovering the priorities of the individuals rather than assume all are alike. Unfortunately, it is common for people to see what they want to see when a relationship starts. If only people prioritized clear, open, honest communication from the start and took the time to determine compatibility, it would be easier for people to match with those who are on the same path. The preference many people have to stay vague and general, so they can't be held accountable for anything and won't limit their options, is keeping dysfunction and disappointment so common in relationships.

Rather than assume everyone will cheat, limiting your own investment, identify whether a person's pattern of choices tends to be self-centered or considerate of others. Most relationships fall apart due to self-centeredness, and I haven't seen any pattern that would lead me to believe men or women are more self-centered. Look at the behavior, not the gender. The best partners will always be considerate and respectful of others... not just their partner. People who show off, draw attention to themselves or focus on their own sense of entitlement will never be ideal relationship material. Accept people as they are... just as you want people to accept you as you are. Never assume people will change for you. Get a clear picture of how any potential partner views anything related to relationships. Seek their definition of terminology rather than assume using the same words is good enough.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Great answer! I agree,💯.. For the record, I'm not the one saying men aren't meant to be monogomous is not in their nature that's come out of men's mouths, not mine.. but is it about nature? Or choice? You choose to remain faithful just like people choose to cheat. And I know not all men cheat just like I know not all women stay faithful.

[caring__1]

I've never seen you make this claim, but you do a good job of bringing issues to the surface for all to look at. Most everything is a choice. No matter what hand we're dealt, it's still our choice how we want to deal with it. We even have the option to alter many genetic predispositions. It's disappointing when people refuse to take accountability and claim it is beyond their control. We have the ability to nurture a relationship and keep it new and alive, or we can sit back and expect everything to be handed to us on a silver platter. We see more value in the experience when we are part of the mix rather than just a passive recipient.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Again, well said and again agree 💯

[Lliam]

Great MyTake, as usual, beautiful brains and heart. I agree.

People who aren't prepared to be monogamous should say so up front. Monogamy is an attitude. I agree with you that claiming that monogamy is not "human nature" is a fallacy. It's a way of rationalizing hurting others. Not that it's bad to not believe in monogamy. But just be honest and say so.

I was always a monogamous kind of guy. I sought steady, committed relationships. I fell into deep infatuation with all my former girlfriends.

This song just popped into my head:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/hclK-UKJNgkhttps://www.youtube.com/embed/zGJNxVwiktE

I never cheated and I wouldn't have remained with them if they wanted to be with someone else.

The only thing I never promised was to stay with them forever because I couldn't guarantee that. The purpose of a relationship was to find out if it would turn into a life-long partnership.

I could be accused of cereal monogamy. When I was young, I knew I wasn't ready to settle down. I wasn't mature enough. Plus, I didn't want to get saddled with the responsibility of a family.
But cereal monogamy is different from polyamory or a compulsion to sample as many women as possible.

My ego never measured success by how many girls I could sleep with. It wasn't a competition. Instead, I was bolstered by the quality of the women who loved me and me alone. It's the ultimate flattery and makes for great intimacy. That's the infatuation thing. Infatuation feels like love. Then there is true love where two people get past starry-eyed infatuation, accept each other's imperfections, develop deep respect and regard, and agree to commit to a life-long relationship. I didn't know what true love was until later in life.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Great, great answer... And at least YOU got the point I was making.. Or maybe you just said it better than I did lolol

[Lliam]

blush 😊😊😊

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Oh don't act shy and innocent now lololol🤣

[Lliam]

I'm soooo shy and innocent. 🤣
By the way, did you like the music?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👍👍😊

[Cynicaldreamer]

So for those of you too lazy to read, let me paraphrase her mytake:

It's a bullshit excuse. The only people that say that or feel that way are typically afraid to commit to one person or settle down for whatever reason.

... personally I think they use it as an excuse to cheat or sleep around, but that's just me.

Rather than argue or even bother explaining to people why that logic is flawed and nonsensical, I just block and ignore them. I'm not saying they're wrong: just stupid. There's a difference.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lolol 😂 well said!

[Vegasrunner]

@Cynicaldreamer That's just another example of why guys shouldn't spend time rationalizing w/ women. Women look for only opinions they agree w/ and if they dont find it they close their minds and run.

[kaiswater]

@Vegasrunner You're just another example of why people shut down misogynists that generalize either gender in a single offensive statement. Do you not understand what you're saying, or are you too mad and simple to have a rational thought?

[Vegasrunner]

@kaiswater Lol, That's just something you're programmed to say to prevent you from having to actually articulate a point. In the process you've only gone to to validate mine. You read an opinion that went against your fairytale belief and your answer is to provide what I can only assume is your attempt at an insult rather than any actual substance to the conversation. Could you have validated my point any better?

[OlderAndWiser]

"Men aren't meant to be monogamous, it's not in their nature" Men are also not "meant" to live in human made structures, drink alcoholic beverages, or eat processed foods. Men are not "meant" to ingest laboratory produced medications or have parts of their body surgically altered. Men are not "meant" to ride over the terrain in mechanical devices, or to use energy sources that are not renewable. Men are not "meant" to have oral sex, anal sex, group sex, orgies, and gangbangs. Men are not "meant" to use sex toys or to watch porn. Men are not "meant" to play video games.

Get the idea?

[Humbletallguy6ft6]

I don't get it

[OlderAndWiser]

@Humbletallguy6ft6 Who determines what we are "meant" to do?

[Guy13]

Worldview is everything and mine being Biblical makes this very simple. Your Creator, God said, therefore, Do. It is not difficult if one is using the Designer instruction manual. :-)

[vapido]

I've always looked at this question from a genetic and evolutionary point of view.

Genetically, men are driven to mate frequently (i. e., not be monogamous) in order to increase their progeny in future generations. This is an evolutionary trait - men who do not have a drive to increase their progeny will have much fewer progeny - and individuals lacking this drive will be outnumbered by increasing amounts with each successive generation. After millennia, the drive to procreate will be the dominant trait.

This genetic drive to maximize one's offspring is why I believe men are not naturally monogamous.

However, this is not the end of the story. Not at all!

It is not enough to produce many offspring. Genetics also drives the father to want his offspring to succeed in producing their own offspring. The way a man can increase the chance of this happening is to stay with the mother and child and be part of the family, doing whatever he is best suited for to help his children succeed.

So... men have a basic conflict of motivations from different aspects of their genetics. On the one hand, they need to get out there and produce as many offspring as possible. On the other hand, they have a genuine desire to help their offspring live a successful life and produce more offspring.

I think his best bet for future generations is to stay within a family unit and make sure the family thrives, because having too many offspring can backfire... who can successfully raise all these children in such a society? It would be chaos and counterproductive!

So, in the long run, I believe the monogamous gene wins more often than not, particularly after a man starts having children, when he realizes his children will benefit greatly by having him around (unless he's a bad parent, but that's another topic)

So, I believe there is a dichotomy in a man's genetics that never quite goes away. On the one hand, he wants to stay home and be monogamous; on the other, he wants to get out there and spread his genes It is an internal battle that usually ends with one side being suppressed by the other, but the internal battle never completely ends.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Maybe that was true back in the day, not in these times, if men are trying to spread their seed to reproduce, why are they trying to force women to get abortions or think they can be absolved of any responsibility, the " my wallet, my choice" bs guys on here say all the time🤷🏼‍♀️

[ohshee]

Its bullshit it's like everything else in this world
It's a Choice. That simple. I can just hear It now. All the 10.0000 me that cheated today.
Baby I'm sorry but i was told men aren't meant to be monogamous.

And i can hear her say you know what I read that same thing. But it also said
Men aren't meant
To tell the truth

Not meant to love
Not meant to have a family & kids
Not meant to have 5 girl friends and a wife

Not meant to sleep in the same bed as there wife.. oh snap lol

Not meant to ever have sex with there wife again

Aren't meant to not to pay child support
As a matter of fact they are not even meant to live with there wife's
GET THE FUCK OUT
It's called a choice the Guy meets a girl he knows he's married they go someplace where they're going to fuck as he's getting undressed and I don't care how drunk he is he's thinking about I'm married then his next thought is I don't give a fuk she ain't going to find out then the next time it is oh my God that was cool that is good then the next thought is hey baby how are you sorry I had to work late give me a give me a kiss where's the kids oh I got a beautiful day I was great but you know like nothing even happened
The next. Is oh fuck I should have done this a long time ago she's so stupid she doesn't know anything oh nothing baby I'm just thinking to myself LOL
So he not only knew what he was doing he did it because he wanted to because he knew he was going to get away with it because he's smarter than everybody else little does he know that's just his little penis or ego talking because that's bullshit you're always going to get caught no matter what most of the time because you knock on yourself or somebody sees you because you're really smart

Is all one big manipulation if a guy is talking he's manipulating little guys trying to get in your pants he's manipulating if he ask you how you like to get fucked he says well I'm going to pound you only reason why he's saying that it's because he's manipulating you into thinking you're going to get fucked good you'll get on pounds you 10 times
He's going to rule a few and say damn that was good I fucked you rough do every girl in the world thinks that she likes to be fucked rough and she doesn't even know what that is she doesn't even know what making love is where you can get screwed is because there's manipulation about that too
The reason why guys manipulate is because their fat they're out of shape they can't fuck they think they're smart they think their Stead so they're going to go to the next door neighbor manipulate her in 2 fucking and then he's going to minutes later and tell her it was good after he was done in 2 seconds

See you guys are stupid from the Stone Age that's the reason why God had to give man the dog because man needed a best friend man needed somebody that he could talk to manipulate and God will still love him Betsy we are supposed to learn something it was supposed to be unconditional love well that's a manipulation to cuz you don't even know what the fuck that is
Man was meant to be monogamous
Man was not meant to be a manipulator
Man was meant to be in shape so we could pleases old lady every single night
And then was not supposed to fail
But that's what he did
And by the way the ladies the reason why your man cheats is because he can't keep up with you in bed and it's really thinks that he still is dead so what he's going to do is the first girl that says hello and says you want to cheat on your wife he's going to say yes because he's going to get on her pump her a couple times and be done with with it see he doesn't have to look her in the eye can feel insecure because he only lasted 2 minutes he doesn't even have to see that girl again but yes come home to the wife it is at least a half an hour pump but he can't do it because he's out cheap will never see her again doesn't have to get worn down from the wife damn I'm at a room I could have kept going and going

[Chris_u006]

It can be both and men aren't the only ones that are capable of this bullshit (bullshit only in the matter of some reasons why I never said nor did I lean in the direction that it never happens) it don't happened thing in a relationship only because you get bored or there's no excitement left there generally speaking, very broadly, no pointing towards anyone what so ever.
Constantly over think things is very unhealthy towards yourself, as is never to speak up even when you feel a HUGE need to.
However I could still be 100% wrong here too, Im fine with that and I get away by saying that I am ONLY human.
Sure there are differences and variations in this matter, like everywhere else, no one ever said that it isn't.
If anyone choose to take offense from what I just wrote, your'e not only allowing yourself to publically show yourself vulnerable, but you could also be telling the person you choose to reply to, at least a little bit of who you truly are as a person, but I in this fact maybe would never even mention because it might be a little too sensitive for you to even start talking about.
I rarely judge anyone if it isn't against all the moral in the entire existence of humanity, because some things are so fucked up that even criminals think it is morally wrong, like rape, pedophilia and violence in the relationship no matter who the perpetrator might be.
I can't stand hypocricy and pathological liars.
Anyone who read this, no matter what you go through right now, Im with you spiritually and mentally if you allow yourself to open up your heart and need that healing. I listen, I care about all my fellow humanbeings as a whole and it gets deeply concerning when I see other people suffer, especially people who didn't deserve to be treated than anything else but like a humanbeing.
Stay strong, be calm, respect and love your fellow humanbeings and dare to speak your mind, even dare to challenge me. If you do it objectively and more creative than Im capable of I will give you recognition. I love you all
Peace!💪💪❤🙏

[Anonymous]

Both true and not - ironically. The answer being rooted in science.

To start, truth in advertising, until I settled down with my girlfriend 16 years ago - we have three children and decided, somewhat to our own surprise as we are otherwise pretty traditional do not want to be married - I had multiple sex partners, 14 to be exact. I have fathered 6 children out of wedlock - three with my girlfriend, one miscarriage, one who I just learned about two years ago and with whom I now have a rewarding and loving relationship, and one who my girlfriend at the time aborted without telling me. (By far the saddest and most painful experience in my life.)

So it may seem self serving to say but the science suggests that man are not - and this is a key word - spontaneously monogamous.

So with that long preamble, in evolutionary terms, man is instinctively programmed to impregnate as many females as possible. It is how the species has kept going for several hundred thousand years, and how males perpetuate their DNA in the competition of the species.

The female is actually a bit different. She can normally only bear one child at a time, and this requires enormous amounts of time and energy. So she is looking for the alpha male. The male with healthy sperm to make healthy babies and then after that to find food for mom and baby and ward off rival males and predators.

Such was life in the state of nature and why the psychology of men and women TENDS to be different. Then as man evolved the inherent conflict between males and the potential for the exploitation of women by men was addressed by the elaborate rules of society - and these it should be added did not always work perfectly and have varied over time.

The point being that it is man's nature - note the word - to transcend his instincts. His children and his mate - and the male himself - do best when the male is monogamous. However, this is a learned behavior, not a spontaneous one. Males must be taught - as indeed in general ALL humans must be taught - to control and master their emotions and instincts.

What makes human nature different from animals is that men and women have the potential to transcend their instincts - and when they do, they generally prosper. Raise a wolf to be the best wolf it can be - it will still be a wolf. Raise a human baby to be the best human being it can be and it may write sonnets or cure cancer.

So the nature of a man is to reproduce. Left in the state of nature, by instinct he will seek out sex to impregnate as many females as possible. The point being that when he goes beyond and controls that instinct, he and his offspring - as the data shows - will do better and live longer and healthier lives.

[OnKoing]

Partly, yes.
We are living in a society, which condemns married people who go astray (most of the western world). We are living in a society, which condones and even encourages polygamy (parts of the Arabic world). We are are living in a society, which thrives on sexual liberty (no conversations about morals or religious morality please!).
This is only a small excerpt of the world we live in.
I'm sure you can see what is being implied here. It's very stigmatic. We have attempted to live by a set of rules for several centuries imposed on us by religious or chosen leaders. If you cannot abide by these rules, you will be viewed as deficient or immoral by those imposing the given rules.
It is of course a biological science as well. Although sex really only serves the propagation of 99% of the species, humans have taken it to another level and do it for enjoyment too.
So, what conclusion does this bring us? Mating is a biological thing and the expression "animal attraction" hits the mark. However, we are also rational beings, who have developed to the stage where a conscious decision of choice of mate can also be met.
That is why I would plead for both cases.
Oh, and please don't forget the predatory females out there too. All part of the rich fabric 😉

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lolol I didn't... That's why the men that say it's in men's nature, why not say human nature? Because these are the same guys that think they can have multiple partners because they're a man but expect their woman to be faithful.. And yeah, I call BULLSHIT on that

[DizzyDesii]

Polyamory is not normal. Hoes just continue to try to normalize the shit. Hoes be out here fckin people man and shit. That ain't normal lmao. Tf 🤣 Just cause two people in the party cool with it doesn't mean the whole trio is down. One of the three, four, however many people they fckin may be unaware. Also, People aren't wrong for hoeing? Um Yea they are the delusional tell themselves otherwise. Ima let those two wrongs keep right tf on while i walk away. Byeee. Even a lot of people who ask for open relationships leave out deets. They’ll be like “only if you know them or only with your permission” but they’re still fcking some oldass bum bit in the ass in secret. Open relationships need a mf contract like a marriage cause people neevr keep their word. And i dont like the S L U T word but i certainly call it a hoe if its a hoe. A Spade is a spade, is it not? Everyone has hoe moments, some friends more than others 👀 The term hoe does not discriminate. Anyone can get it. And who came up with the “not in a mans nature”. Its def some michael jackson human nature hoe shit happening in these steeets. But people gone do whatever. Its whatever long as it ain't my man they sleepin with. And lastly plenty of people will destroy friendships, relaitonships, etc to get their dick/puss wet. We see that everyday on GaG, tv and in person. A cheating man will leave ya for an old dusty crusty musty bit if it mean he can get that extra gush.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I personally don't believe in polyamory relationships myself, but if it works for others, that's their business not mine. It's people that claim that it's not in a man's nature to be monagomous as an excuse) justification for cheating or as you said being a hoe🤣 that I have issue with. Cuz if it's really their nature, why not be upfront about it, show your "true nature" to your partner/potential partners. No, those will be the ones lying to/playing multiple people at once, both online and in real life.. Another reason don't do online, kind distance dating) relationships. Can be hard enough to know if you the only person they with knowing them IRL, even harder to know or guaranty when it's long distance and easier for them to lie) get away with it

[DizzyDesii]

My thing is, it doesn't surprise me if a guy cheats. Yes both genders do it but i’d already be done with his ass. Who i’m checkin for is the hoe he slept with. I wanna know if i know her and if she know me. Cause thats where the problem begins. I dont respect his dirty ass but i have even less respect for the people who get involved knowing his ass was taken. So i hear what you sayin about not knowin if theyre with other women. But the real question is, do other women know if he's with you? Cause all those Sorry sons of bishes can go jump off a cliff and fall into hell where their cheatin backstabbin asses belong. They breakin girlcode lmao

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

You can't always blame the person they cheated with. If a man/woman gonna lie to their partner, what makes you think they really gonna be honest with the person they cheating with? Some do, most don't...

[DizzyDesii]

Im not blaming the ones who truly didn't know. But a lot know. I had a friend who fcked my dude. She knew. He knew. I didn't know. She got pregnant by his ass and he dissed her ass. The dude is already trash. But the fact that a friend or family member or whoever can sneak and fck your man, nah they dont get to be the victim too. They a hoe just like him

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Oh well yeah, that way.. But then too, when a person doesn't know they bring lied to/cheated on, they the victim, but once they "do" know and choose to stay and put up with it, they no longer the victim cuz they chose to stay, give their loyalty to a known liar/cheater...

[HopefulGuy94]

What the hell , everyone is monagamous actually no matter what one say it is true. Even some of the animals are monogamous what we expect more , try to think of our parents od the parents of them. They just love only one person and then marry them. The above statements on the images are totally belongs to people who want polygamous to be legalized because of their dirt-minded thoughts. It is such a ridiculous thing , that they love everyone and try to have sex with them and so on. What about our opinions if we believe in true love we do not flirt , date someone and wait for the one that we really love. It is really funny that those who think like above is also the ones who cannot find and lose their hope for true love actually lol If the people live like that they cannot be loyal against their spouses , that is the point. The feelings and opinions for love is gradually decreases every time the people "think" (air quotes) they have a girlfriend/boyfriend when the people consume (like a product) "fake" love , cuz love is a sacred-like thing for those who are still a beliver ;) When the consumption hits 0 , the thoughts on love cannot get back once more , if you catch it before hitting there which means you regret that you have done or you realise you make a mistake (can be accidently done only once) you have a high chance to resurrect the love and everything about it. CUT !!!

[BeenThereLovedIt]

I've always appreciated your insights and that you try to gain a greater understanding of a topic before you post a mytake or opinion on it.

I hope I can shed some light on your understandings of certain behaviors, or at least an honest and unfiltered perspective from an experienced man.

The first part of your mytake talks about how people who aren't monogamous aren't being up-front about it. I think first you have to separate the 'who' that is doing it. There's always going to be the players who just lie to get what they want in that moment, and they want sex without long-term strings attached. They are dishonest about everything, not just monogamy, so those are easily dismissed as pathetic liars, and both men and women belong to this club.

Once you remove the liars, you have two remaining groups among the non-monogamous (I believe). The first group is easily dismissed - they are the ones who are up-front and honest about it from day 1.

The second group doesn't directly lie, but chooses to use lies of omission or white lies. I think this is the group that infuriates you (anyone) the most. I think I understand why they lie. Perhaps they used to be honest and it blew up in their faces, potentially multiple times, and they are trying to take a softer approach to it. What would you say if on the first date a guy dumped that on you? Most people would instantly be like "oh TMI !!" and bail, even if they would otherwise agree with it down the road.

The other issue is that people need companionship, and a non-monogamy philosophy generally excludes them from the majority of potential partners.. so how do they handle that? Someone has to be dating them first before they can add someone else. Single people still need that companionship (and sex!) even if it is with just one person at that time.

Just random thoughts I guess.

[Tdieseler]

Its a very true statement. Men aren't, by nature supposed to be monogamous...
all those words were not created by nature. They were created by society.

Baseball bats were not created to crack skulls... but they do
women by nature aren't supposed violent, but we know of many violent women
men are not monogamous by nature... but there are many men in monogamy
I'm pretty sure everyone of you here can list something that isn't used for what it was created for.

I believe what my confused friend here is doing is leaning towards one end of the nature vs nurture debate. the person who stated this referred to a pure form of nature and natural instinct, and our friend over here is leaning more towards the nurture/society aspect of things.
Look at male animals in nature... they mate, its done with. pure nature... nature doesn't give a shit about all the societal fluff. That's all human made.
So our friend here has a buddy who brought it down to the simplest form..."aren't meant to"... and our confused OP here couldn't see what they meant. Look around you, there are men who are monogamous... but thats a SOCIETAL creation. Not natural.

all you geniuses who are saying its a bullshit excuse to cheat... umm... if you did your job in your fucking state of monogamy, your partner male/female won't see a reason to look elsewhere.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I think it's you sir who might be confused, or maybe did not read the whole take (like so many don't) and answered strictly based off the title.. It's not just if it's in your nature or not. It's "why hide your true nature from a potential partner"

[Tdieseler]

because, contrary to popular belief, men can CHOOSE to be monogamous. its not a natural instinct... its a choice. A choice that women ENJOY to torture men about.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I believe you're late to that party, I believe I already stated it's a choice. And a choice both men and women make, not "just men" .. And you should never be monogomous is you have to be tortured into it lol it should be the person's choice or of live or respect our commitment to that person.. if you're promising something you don't "really feel" or "really believe in", that relationship will never last

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

*out of love

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

But also, just like it's a choice to "be" monogamous, it's ALSO a choice NOT to be🤷🏼‍♀️

[Tdieseler]

"if you're promising something you don't "really feel" or "really believe in", that relationship will never last"
you know... i'd believe that nonsense, if the percentage of people starting divorces these days werent women. monogamy, my ass... after 5 marriages and 4 divorces... so much for monogamy... dont even get me started on that.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Do mean favor. (I know women's words don't mean as much as a man's words, cuz we're know women never tell the truth, can't think logically, are always over emotional🙄 yeah don't get me started lol) read @Lliam answer. I can admit maybe he said it better than I did. Then maybe you'll get it🤷🏼‍♀️

[Tdieseler]

the line said men were not meant. leave it there.
i dont see why people just like to blow simple shit into a whole fucking thing about nothing related to the simplicity.
the line said "men werent MEANT TO..."!!! meaning there are thousands of other fucking ways and thoughts that could happen.
I do love how everyone is personalizing though. Im this, and im this... lol. its amazing really. i mean i get the females, its always has to be about them, but some of the males too?
smh... someone talks about male natural instinct and they bring in their female two cents

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Don't you do the same too though, being up your personal experiences? Isn't that how people learn about things, about life, about people? Through personal interactions/experiences? And still missing the point, you say"men aren't meant to" why not say "people" or "humans" ? Why justify it just for men🤷🏼‍♀️

[Tdieseler]

i dont use my personal experiences on here... cuz im everything i preach against.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Hmm, really cuzI swear I've seen where you referenced your relationship, or past dating experiences... Hmmm 🤔 guess I'm wrong tho🤷🏼‍♀️🤣

[saturnianqueen]

This guy still making dumb comments on g@g not surprised.

@Tdieseler Just say you’re incapable of being a normal and responsible adult and leave the rest of us alone. ❤️

[Tdieseler]

@saturnianqueen shut the hell up. I dont need you to agree with my opinion. its MINE.

This take would have been good if it had a different topic... not once did i see anyone reference biology. just watching most people personalize and point. monogamy is a thing created society. the sentence references nature. and our Take writer here doesn't seem to get the point either and is saying shit like "if you dont want..." or "if you want to..." ... stop personalizing. The line seems simple enough. Its like my friend telling me "my car was not designed to go the speed limit"... and i turn around and tell him, well why dont you speed all the damn time then. there are thousands of reasons why. men were not built to be monogamous, doesn't mean that they gotta stick their dingus in everything. thousands of reasons why.
Then some moron says "still saying dumb stuff" like there's anything in the space between their ears. if you dont agree with it... say so you moron.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Tdieseler didn't see you mention any biology other than make

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Submitted by accident.
Other than to compare men to male animals. But men are human, not animals, right? I'm not confused about anything. Just like you're telling this user it's YOUR opinion and you're entitled to it, so are others to theirs, but anyone who disagrees with you is a moron🙄

[Gorge95]

People as a whole were not designed for this. Not just men.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Gorge95 some people aren't, some are.. That doesn't go by gender, but it also don't apply to "all", it's a personal individual nature, what you and this user aren't getting.. Just because you think monagomy can't be in a person's nature, doesn't make it true for everyone..

[Tdieseler]

@Gorge95 I don't know, you will have to educate me on that one.

@Brainsbeforebeauty yea, i didn't mention it either. and you are still confusing nature vs nurture.
now you are saying humans aren't animals? really?
no wonder you misconstrued such a simple phrase. people's mentality may differ all round. But their organic, biological, NATURAL make up... is the same.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I didn't misconstrue anything.. Just don't agree with it.. There's a difference between the two..

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Tdieseler I know the difference between nature and nurture. Question is, do you?
Example: A man) woman stays faithful in all his) her relationships regardless of the female/male because it's in his/her "nature" to be that way..(nature)
A man/woman treats one woman/man differently, more special than he/she has with anyone else ever because he's/she's never felt love like that for anyone else, and she's/he's the most important thing in his/her life (nurture)

[Tdieseler]

ur talking about personal nature... and im talking about mother nature. personal nature is nurtured.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Wait, you're saying mother nature is the reason men weren't meant to be monagomous? 🤣 thanks for that laugh, I needed a good laugh..
I'm sorry, but I believe the men that use the "it's not in a man's nature" use that as an excuse, or to avoid culpability, hey, it can't be helped, in a man... Yeah that don't wash well. Because there's plenty of men that don't believe it's in their nature, and I'm with them on this one

[Diodoro]

I wouldn't say meant to be one way or the other.

I would say we have natural predispositions as men and that we live in a society that at a young age indoctrinates us that we are SUPPOSED to have one woman that we marry have kids with and take care of all of them.

Despite men having a predisposition to spreading our seed with as many quality candidates as possible. Largely limited only by their ability to have it and what they currently have.

Unless they've been indoctrinated with a moral view on the subject either by a religion or general upbringing. And I'd say just by looking at Society in general that's pretty hard to argue against.

I can't say that me at a young age would have ever really wanted to have an exclusive relationship with a girl had it not been an idea presented to me as this amazing thing that I should want all over media, tv, and society.

Because women actually do instincts really seek security and stability, guys don't not in the same way. And that's what a relationship provides. There's a natural inclination towards that. I wouldn't say they're meant to one way or the other, that's just what naturally happens

[CrazyGirl2]

It’s a bullshit excuse for poor impulse control and no self control! Love is decision not some fairytale lightning strike, that’s infatuation. If you choose to keep loving someone long after the infatuation is gone, you can choose to not screw someone else. I hate when weak men with a lack of character try to pass it off as “in their nature”…. Well it’s in a woman’s “nature” to find the strongest mate for her NEXT child regardless of how many children she already has. But we are not cave-dwelling hominids anymore either, so keep it in your pants, and don’t cheat on your wife! 🤷🏼‍♀️🙄

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Great answer!!

[CrazyGirl2]

Wow, thank you very much 😘💋

[Vegasrunner]

I'm not sure about the nature part but a man is only as faithful as his options. I believe the majority of women know this however they can't admit it publicly. Women not believing in Monogamy dosent really matter because having sex isn't an accomplishment for women. The most hideous woman in the world can still get laid 10x as much as the richest most attractive man. Monogamy only really benefits one side in a relationship. Investing your time in one woman is a Really bad risk especially considering how much longer it takes men to find a new woman vs women finding a new man. Also by limiting yourself to one woman you dont really get the opportunity to improve and learn more about the opposite gender. Whereas even a woman in a relationship gets to interact and learn more about their opposite gender. A man who can get many chicks is seen as higher value by both men and women alike. I mean there's a reason women all want the same 10% of men. Also guys need to understand that when a woman says honesty she is saying for you to be honest w/ her this is so she can quickly disqualify you, more guys should actually learn from women and focus on doing what you need to do to get what you want.

[Lionman95]

I think it´s bullshit excuse because there are so many guys that monogomous. If it´s not men´s nature than all men would be polygamous, which at least many of us obviously aren´t.
I like your myTake because it brings the difference of love and lust to light. It´s true that guys have a high sex drive on average and it´s also true that sex and drugs are recognized and thought through in the same areas of the male brain. But that´s no excuse why a guy can´t have a monogamous relationship with a woman. That´s not an excuse not to try to control your urges to hold up the responsibility you have in the relationship.
There´s a difference between lust and love, that many people don´t think and talk about.
I can´t tell if their people that say: I couldn´t live in a monogamous relationship, because I never was really in a position where I questioned my sexuality.
This statement can only be made by someone who wants pleasure but runs from the consequences of it.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I like your answer!! Couldn't agree more!

[Gorge95]

Would you say the same if you could afford to have more than one woman? That’s where human nature is tested. Most men can’t really pull of non-monogamous marriages because that’s a huge requirement resource-wise. When a man has resources though, his options increase and that’s where the true test comes in. Depending on the circumstances, many men will fold and give in. Probably not all but many. It’s something most have come to accept.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Gorge95 oh that's bullshit.. So basically, it's like you're saying my husband only stayed faithful to me cuz he couldn't afford to get more women? No, it was because he was a good man, who loved me and his family and that was more important to him than fucking multiple people..
Just because it's not in "some" people's nature to be monagomous, doesn't mean it's not in other people's nature "to be"..

[Gorge95]

Vitriol for someone you don’t know? Never once did I say your husband or direct this to you. I’m talking to the gentleman with this comment. And yes. There’s a ton of empires research that does link to what I’ve discussed.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Gorge95 But that's what people do when they generalize about "all" men or "all" women or "all" people... No two people are completely wired the same, not even if they're of the same gender

[Gorge95]

Sources: “Sex at Dawn” by Christopher Ryan & Cacilda Jethra along with “The right Sex” by Amia Srinivasan.

Nowhere did I say ALL men or ALL but the above sources contain a myriad of studies that involve the study of how both men and women move within the “mating game”.

At the end of the day there is more data leading to the conclusion that monogamy is a conscious choice but not an inherent trait in human beings, especially if given different social conditions to reside in.

[Lionman95]

@Gorge95 Personally speaking I´d rather yes. Because there is a difference between love and lust. Lust is what I´m tended to when I look after a woman especially in the summer time. It´s more an erotic and sexual feeling, yes the temptation is high to go after every woman I find attractive that way. But these feelings are of a short endurance (we´re talking about minutes at best, often times these feelings last seconds)
Love and other feelings keep me thinking about woman and maybe wake up because of her. I´ve spent night without sleeping out how to ask a woman out.
Lust and all the sexual temptations are feelings that keep many guys from entering or committing to a relationship but on the other hand they are not enough to make me fall in love. I need more than that and for me that´s an emotional connection.
I need to feel understood and appreciated in a deeper way and for a longer time to make me have a crush on a woman or fall in love.
I´m talking about one woman because I can´t imagine being in love with two women equally plus I come from a background that´s traditional in values, where marriage and relationship are monogamous. For me therefore would always be somekind of ranking like my wife and my mistress or my emotional and my sexual wife. I know that guys dream of having sex with many women but I doubt that they love them all the same.
So yes it´s a choice I make but I´d argue any type of committing into a relationship is a choice. Because there is also the possibilities around that offer sex without a committed relationship. As long as we´re talking relationships either mono or polygamous we´re talking about choices. Because if relationships were a natural thing many people wouldn´t have a problem finding a person they love.

[Gorge95]

@Lionman95 Thank you for understanding my point. I get exactly what you mean and yes, not many can sustain a living relationship with more than one person. The only reason I brought up my point is that inherently, if you were not taught through socialization to see relationships the way you do, it would be a different prospect, that’s why I posted the sources. Monogamy is definitely a conscious choice, and it definitely works soundly for many.

[TheBigGuy9]

I can speak from being someone who was always dating multiple people at once. Yes, it definitely is possible to become monogamous. You can’t love someone if you’re only into yourself and without love, you find meaning in short lived happy things. Sex, drugs, criminality.
The good feeling from knowing you have the discipline to not be tempted, that you’re in love with one woman. That you’re a provider for your family. The feeling that comes from accomplishment is much greater than a 28 second orgasm.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Well said

[AndrewMG]

I mean whilst I believe everyone has a soul mate is the biggest myth in the world, the second biggest myth is men aren't meant to be monogomous. The whole point of humans are they are flawed, hence it's only realistic to expect relationships to be flawed. Therefore combining the two myths togethers and realising they are bullsh! t then it puts the emphasis on working on relationships and more importantly being a nice guy rather than cheating on someone you proclaim to love. It's easy for a guy to cheat whilst these stereotypes exist because it saves them admitting they are a Belle*d. If someone cheats then they're the problem... not society or cultural bullsh! t.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

EXACTLY

[jasco]

Honestly no I don't think its true for either sex/gender to be monogamous. I think most people want to be with someone for the rest of their lives, of course their is always a period of time where you just wanna explore and see what happens. That is human nature or curiosity at it's finest. I believe that their are reasons as to why men cheat, rather its a legit reason or just something they made up can be debatable. But I do believe that most men want a relationship to last. I do not blame the women for the men that cheat, however I blame both sex's for their own issues and i wish we could all be better as a whole

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

But do you exploring when you're single not already in a relationship or married. And even single, be honest.. it's not okay to be lying and saying they're the only ones if they're not.

[jasco]

while its true that lying in general is bad. For the people that cheat, most don't care about that person's feelings and usually only do the bare needed to please that person in order to get what they want

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Sad but true

[TonyMetal___86]

@Brainsbeforebeauty you're right about the "SAD BUT TRUE" 😁

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wcIl8UzGXHM

[SweetFyter]

Wow - that bent my brain. I guess I still think men are MEANT to be monogamous but many don't want to or are too lazy to be that way.

But the thing I really didn't get - you have to TELL the other person, "Oh, I want to be with you but I want us to be monogamous"? Like - isn't that implied or assumed? I have always thought that dating was looking for THE guy and marriage was for being with THE guy and I guess that's not what a lot of people think. It just seems silly to me to have to even ask, "Yes, I want to marry you, too, but can I see other guys after we're married?" I just don't get it.